AIBU to never want to send my son to this nursery again

[LexiLexi]

I am so, so upset.

DS aged 3.5, came home from nursery with a couple of bruises on his shins on Tuesday. I asked him how it happened, he said he didn't know but seemed happy enough so I left it at that.

Yesterday came home with four more bruises on his shins. He said he wasn't sure what had happened, but he might have fallen over. I raised concerns with the a Nursery Manager that someone might be kicking him & asked them to investigate how/when this could happen & also to keep very a close eye, to which they agreed.

This evening, I discover even more bruises. It turns out that some kid is kicking him when they change their shoes 😥

I am heartbroken that they have failed to protect him & feel absolutely awful.

I was gonna say it sounds like he's walking into something til you said another child is kicking him

The nursery need to be clear to you exactly how they will protect your son from this happening again, a concrete plan not just "we'll keep an eye", e.g. This child and your child aren't in any groups together and put shoes on at different times. They won't tell you how they're working with the other child but they need to explain what steps they're taking to prevent your child from being kicked.

Thank you so much that's really helpful advice. Just thinking, they've missed it three times, can I trust them?

Bumping so other people with experience of nurseries can offer more help

Make sure he knows he must tell an adult if someone hurts him.

How did you discover that he is being kicked? Did the nursery see it happen?

I think at this point you raise your concern formally and in writing: outline everything, dates and times, specific injuries, what their response has been and that they still haven't resolved the problem. I'd be furious too, to be honest!
The letter is good to keep as documented evidence in case further problems arise ... but also, do speak to that manager again and let her/him know that it is very upsetting for you and your son, that you are extremely disappointed in their negligence and failure to protect after you've raised the issue. As another poster said, make them outline to you (possibly in writing, as a response to your letter) the exact measures they are going to take ASAP in order to keep him safe and prevent further bullying.

Did you ask him if someone kicked him? Because toddlers will often be led by ideas adults have given them. I remember my cousin once whinging at a family event and an uncle saying to her 'Aww, what's the matter? Did Uncle X smack you?' And she said yes! Uncle X had been sitting next to me the whole time and definitely hadn't touched her. The idea had been fed to her. So if he's said he's been kicked after you specifically asked him, it might not be true. Particularly as the previous two days he couldn't remember what he's done so obviously wasn't too bothered by whatever caused the bruises.

It could be pedals from bikes, falling over, bumping into things etc.

I guess the positive news is that your ds isn't bothered by it.
Echo the others, how you found out this is crucial.
For example, when my dc were that age, I would decide what we were having for dinner, then give them options, putting what I wanted them to have last, they always chose it.
'Fish or chips?' Chips.
'Chips or fish?' Fish.
I hope you discover someone hasn't been kicking him.