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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is neighbour?

51 replies

Clareel · 15/03/2017 10:40

Me and OH live in a flat, 5 other flats in the building. At the back there is a small car park (enough for 6 cars) no marked parking spaces or designated parking per flat. We don't have a car and there are usually only 4 cars parked outside so probably one other flat doesn't have one either.

My friend arrived yesterday to stay for a few days, parked her car in a free spot outside. Her car is small and was right in the corner, not obstructing anything or blocking anyone in. 5 minutes later neighbour (who I know only to say hello to) is banging on my door, asking who's car it is and stating that it must be moved because only the people who own their flats have the right to park there. I apologised and said I wasn't aware of this rule, that it wasn't our car but our friends who was visiting but as we don't have a car assumed it would be okay to park. She then said that as she owned her flat and we just rented (not sure how she knows this but it is true) she should have first choice of parking and we needed to move the car so she can park in the corner as that is where she prefers. Fair enough she does live here and friend doesn't so I apologise again and say that we will move the car.

Neighbour then goes off on a rant about 'other issues' since we moved in (we have lived here 6 months). Firstly that it is only her and one other neighbour that take the bins out to the front of the flat on collection day - I admit we have not been doing this as the gate is locked with a key code which we don't know but if she gives me the code I am happy to do it in the future. So she has given me the code, fine I am happy to take the bins out now. She then states we are also not allowed to dry laundry on our balcony Hmm we have had ongoing problems with mould and damp in the flat and the letting agent have advised that we only dry laundry on the balcony in order to prevent this from getting worse.

I get she has a point about the bins, but the parking and the laundry is fine right? I called the letting agent and they said they will contact the landlord to clarify but they can't see any reason why we shouldn't be able to park there especially as we don't actually own a car ourselves. When I mentioned about drying laundry on the balcony the letting agent actually laughed and said of course we can use our balcony as we please.

AIBU

OP posts:
Onthecouchagain · 15/03/2017 12:14

Big fat YANBU.

The cheek of some people is unreal.

ZilphasHatpin · 15/03/2017 12:17

Christ, I wouldn't have even entertained her demand to move the car! She'll throw her weight around if you give her the space to. Don't! just ignore her. (bitter from asshole neighbour experience- I was too nice to begin with)

pointstaken · 15/03/2017 12:38

do check your rental agreement, or your letting agent, it is possible that the car parking spaces exist but you are not entitled to them. (unlikely but possible).

I disagree with If the agreement specifically states the parking is for resident's cars only, then your friend can't park there. Yes she can. On this occasion, as you don't have a car yourself, you can just "borrow" her car for a few days whilst she is staying.

Dizzywizz · 15/03/2017 12:46

Another echoing that it may be in the lease for the building - your tenancy agreement likely has a clause that you will abide by the original lease for the building (can't remember the name - superior lease? ) Which case you should have been given a copy to read before signing the tenancy agreement. You may need to get a copy of this, if you haven't already been given one.

laureywilliams · 15/03/2017 12:52

No matter how rude and wrong a neighbour is someone always suggests giving them flowers...

Its like a appeasing a bully. Just never going to work. She clearly already feel superior to you (as an owner not a mere tenant). You will have to step up to her or be walked over.

wowfudge · 15/03/2017 12:56

She's a cow who thinks she's superior because you are a tenant. I wouldn't give her flowers. Or the time of day.

AnneElliott · 15/03/2017 13:05

Ignore her op - she is batty! And I have learned through experience that giving in to batty neighbours can encourage them to bring more outrageous!

dowhatnow · 15/03/2017 13:24

Be pleasant and polite whilst being assertive.

Original poster
Clareel · 15/03/2017 13:29

Thanks again for the replies I do want to keep the peace but I'm not giving her flowers. She was extremely rude and confrontational yesterday. I appreciate we should have asked for the code to the gate earlier so we cold have taken the bins down and I have already apologised for this.

We weren't shown / asked to sign any additional agreement except our tenancy agreement so if there is one I am not aware.

I will definitely start taking the bins out regularly but withe regards to the parking and laundry isues I can only go by what the letting agent is telling me and will otherwise just try to keep things civil!

OP posts:
Dayna1 · 15/03/2017 13:29

I think you are being totally reasonable and that your neighbour was probably having a bad day or something ...

MulderitsmeX · 15/03/2017 13:32

Re the balcony it may still be in the lease of thr leaseholder to the flat owner but not in your lease iyswim?

I have the same thing and recommend Argos' basic clothes airer, it comes up just below the average balcony so you can dry stuff there without it being in view. Can send you a link if you like Smile

Kiroro · 15/03/2017 13:43

Car - you are R and neighbor is totally U

Bins - you are massively U, did you just think 'fuck it, let someone else do that'. Like you couldn't have got the code??

Washing - you are probably U . Loads of flats have clauses in the leasehold saying you can't dry washing on balcony cos, lets be honest, it looks shit.

blueskyinmarch · 15/03/2017 13:49

If she comes back tell her you have checked with you letting agent and the car park/ washing issues she has complained about are actually not issues. If she keeps going on then give her the phone no of your letting agent and she can take it up with them?

ZilphasHatpin · 15/03/2017 13:53

lets be honest, it looks shit.

Who cares?? Confused people need to dry their washing. That's a need. Having a nice view into your neighbours flat isn't. Look the other way if you don't like it.

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/03/2017 13:55

"She then said that as she owned her flat and we just rented (not sure how she knows this but it is true) she should have first choice of parking and we needed to move the car so she can park in the corner as that is where she prefers."
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No.

The only thing she's got you on is the bins. Seriously, you've been there six months and had never put the bins out? You should have got on to your letting agency as soon as you came upon the gate and asked them for the code since you need it. Other than that, I'd nod and smile and ignore.

Beachedwh4le · 15/03/2017 13:55

I'd park the car wherever, get onto the bins thing, and stop drying clothes on the balcony Grin

Original poster
Clareel · 15/03/2017 13:58

kiroro - honestly I have laid eyes on this woman probably 3 times since we lived here, we have taken the bins out on a few occasions but as we didn't the have the code this meant dragging the bins around the side of the flat down some steps.

I appreciate I WBU about this and should have asked for the code sooner. The fact that 3 other flats are also not doing this makes me think we are not totally to blame

Not drying washing on the balcony because it looks shit? Really? I couldn't care less what is on someone else's balcony least of all if it is a bit of laundry.

OP posts:
Rubyslippers7780 · 15/03/2017 14:13

What if you had bought a car? You are allocated a space. She needs to get over herself

SapphireStrange · 15/03/2017 15:29

Loads of flats have clauses in the leasehold saying you can't dry washing on balcony cos, lets be honest, it looks shit.

a) this flat doesn't sound like it has, according to the letting agent
b) anyone who worries about what other people's washing looks like needs to find something better to do with their time.

JungleInTheRumble · 15/03/2017 15:37

One of our neighbours once complained about us drying laundry in front of the window inside our lounge...on the first floor! Don't give an inch cause she'll try and take a mile.

F1ipFlopFrus · 15/03/2017 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pointstaken · 16/03/2017 07:35

anyone who worries about what other people's washing looks like needs to find something better to do with their time

except that it does look cheap. If you own a property, and the lease expressly forbid washing outside or barbecues, or drinking in the communal garden (!), you are perfectly reasonable to complain if someone doesn't respect the rules and cheapen the building. It is even worst if the other person is a tenant and obviously doesn't care about the rules and the loss of a value of other people property.

Not directed at the OP, who is clearly not malicious and just following advice from estate agents, who are to blame!

SapphireStrange · 16/03/2017 09:54

except that it does look cheap

That's your opinion, not a fact. WTF does 'cheap' even mean? Confused

It's pretty insulting to state that someone who's a tenant doesn't care about the rules. Since when did owning a house confer moral superiority?

pointstaken · 16/03/2017 10:06

That's your opinion, not a fact.

It might be my opinion, but I am clearly not to only one to believe that, as properties without laundry on show sell for more (and much much quicker!).

A tenant has nothing to lose if the property lose value, the owner does. Why do you have to talk about moral superiority about a simple fact?

SapphireStrange · 16/03/2017 16:21

The OP has said that there isn't a laundry clause in her agreement.

On property value: you could have made the point about properties selling for more or less depending on laundry without giving it a moralistic spin. You didn't have to wag your finger and tut about tenants not caring about the rules.