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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not sure what to do with cat fighting situation

83 replies

Schooldramabannana · 14/03/2017 20:10

We've lived here 5 years and had an ongoing problem ever since we got our cat 2 years ago
He loves to be outside although does come in every evening to sleep
We have a next door neighbour with 2 cats, one male and one female who generally stay outside even at night unless very cold.
They generally sit on her shed.
Our cat will go into their garden and then a cat fight breaks out.
Neighbour has made it clear she feels we are responsible and as he's aggressive and goes into their garden so her cats territory it is his fault and sent us the bill after the first fight they had.
I knocked and explained I wouldn't be paying a bill for a cat fight, that mine too gets injuries from being outside and I can't expect people to pay for that as they are wild animals really.
She wasn't happy and hasn't spoken to us since but we don't see her much anyway so no massive issue!
I've just heard a cat fight so looked out the window and there he is in their garden fighting with her male cat, she comes out and throws a jug of water over them and gets her cats in calling ours a ginger cunt as she is doing it
What am I meant to do?
I don't get why he still goes into the bloody garden; he

OP posts:

WateryTart · 16/03/2017 08:42

Can you really not see that you are the problem? So utterly selfish.

RandomWordsandaNumber5 · 16/03/2017 09:14

It sounds like the OP's cat has decided that next door is part of his territory and is fighting to maintain/ consolidate it. From previous experience with cats, I don't think anything will change here unless the aggressor is kept in or rehomed.
You obviously love your pet OP, quite understandably, and I don't suppose either course of action as above will be acceptable. So maybe you could consider a compromise of some sort with your neighbour?

Original poster

Schooldramabannana · 16/03/2017 09:39

They are cats, wild animals!
It's not as if I ca have a chat with him and that will stop his behaviour!
Before they moved in he was encouraged slightly into that garden as the elderly lady who lived there would sometimes feed him so I don't think that's helped

OP posts:

halcyondays · 16/03/2017 09:44

If you let your cat out at night it's a risk you take, that they might get into a fight. Ours got injured in a fight but we wouldn't have expected anyone else to pay the vet's bill.

Dollygirl27 · 16/03/2017 09:51

I can understand the neighbors position. My (neutered) female too a bit of a beating from another local cat a few months ago. Nothing major but definitely put her nose out of joint for a while and she wouldn't go outside for a couple of weeks. Having said that it is my responsibility as an owner to keep my cat safe. If she kept getting into fights and coming home injured I'd keep her indoors as it's the only way to guarantee my own cats safety. I definitely wouldn't expect any other owner to pay the vets bill same as if she ran across a road and got hit by a car I wouldn't expect the car owner to shell out. Unless she sees every fight your neighbor can't be sure your cat is the only one causing a problem especially if your cat is indoors over night, I see it as it's her responsibility to keep her cats safe not yours

londonrach · 16/03/2017 09:54

Can proof your garden and keep it within your garden. Problem solved on top of that you keeping your cat safe from the road. Win, win. Never understand why people dont do it as part of owning a cat and living in an urban setting.

londonrach · 16/03/2017 09:54

Cat not can

AgainstTheOddsNo2 · 16/03/2017 09:56

How long has it been going on. Every time a new cat comes into out neighbourhood there is a flurry of fighting. Then it calms down. They just need to establish the hierarchy.

Though sounds like your cat might be the Don of the neighbourhood and is showing everyone who is boss?

ShowMePotatoSalad · 16/03/2017 09:59

If you are the owner of the cat, then that means it's not a wild animal.

Do you let badgers and foxes sleep in your house at night, too?

You can't be a pet owner, then when the shit hits the fan claim it's a wild animal.

At the moment your neighbour can't prove your cat caused the injuries to your cat, but if she had evidence, then she could take you to court and sue you for the vet bills. And rightly so, too.

ElegantDream · 16/03/2017 10:00

Cats are not wild animals.

Change cat for dog. Dogs are not allowed to roam and I actually think cats shouldn't be either (I never used to think this way, but my viewpoint has changed).

NoLotteryWinYet · 16/03/2017 10:01

my lovely soft female cat was a fighty f*cker when she was younger - cat nip chilled her out. Can you try putting lots of that about? I do feel a bit sorry for your neighbour. Are you clipping your cats claws nice and short too?

NoLotteryWinYet · 16/03/2017 10:03

to be honest, I'd be keeping my cat in if it was injuring other cats on a regular basis or consider talking to the vet about cat sedatives - feliway didn't do anything for us except cost us a lot!

kikibo · 16/03/2017 10:15

It seems like your cat just believes the neighbour's garden is its territory and if the resident cats don't accept that, it's tough sh*t. I like cats :). Sometimes they do come to an agreement where parts of their territory overlap and they do a type of timesharing on them, but as yours came about 2 years ago, I think that's way overdue and not going to happen in this case.

One of our three cats is a bully, but thankfully we have all big gardens here, so there is plenty of time for other cats to get out of the way, otherwise it's staring time...

As to going into the neighbour's house. That is annoying. Definitely brazen. The neighbour could get a cat flap that works with a chip or a collar so only their cats can get in and you could offer to pay for that or part of it as a kind of peace offering. Though it should be a strong one because our bully used to bang on it for the food at night we learned from our neighbours...

Cat proofing the garden, IMO, is a bit cruel because some cats have a bigger need to roam, so keeping them in or containing them in a smaller space than they have been used to will make them depressed and stressed.

WateryTart · 16/03/2017 10:18

I've always thought how awful it was when I read about people trapping cats and letting them go a long way away. With owners like the OP I can now understand how it happens.

Rufus200 · 16/03/2017 10:25

Cat owners are not actually legally responsive for their cat's actions! Dog owners are responsible for their dog's actions!
So if your cat gets in a fight and hurts another cat resulting in a vet bill you are not legally responsible! If your dog bites another dog then you are and this is why all dog owners should at least have 3rd party insurance.

ElegantDream · 16/03/2017 10:29

I don't care whether we are not legally responsible. I want to be morally responsible!!

ShowMePotatoSalad · 16/03/2017 10:29

Rufus that isn't strictly true. The right to roam doesn't automatically allow cat owners to be absolved of legal responsibility if the cat causes damage to property or injury to another person's pet.

NoLotteryWinYet · 16/03/2017 10:46

yeah at the very least you have a moral responsibility to try and reduce your cat's desire to fight and minimize the situation.

Bringbackpublicfloggings · 16/03/2017 10:49

Ginger cunt

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 16/03/2017 10:51

This war has already been going 2 years. I don't blame the neighbour for getting upset if the vet's bills are mounting and it's happening in her garden with your animal who always comes off best. But with cats who go outdoors it's a jungle out there. If not your boy it could be another.
Better hope she doesn't eventually get a dog.

HazelBite · 16/03/2017 11:07

Well you have a ginger boy!
They are particularly territorial, all of the "gingers" I've ever had, believed they owned the whole neighbourhood, and were bossy/aggressive with other cats that challenged them. The neighbours cats aren't towing the line!
I'm afraid its the nature of the beast.
I bet he's gorgeous!

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 16/03/2017 11:39

Most cats hate water

Get a water pistol and use on your cat when he wonders into the neighbours garden - unfortunately it was his territory as your previous neighbor fed him and he is letting the other cats know it still is in his opinion

Cats are not domesticated in the same way dogs are and allowed to retain some of their wildness (thankfully)

Speaking as an owner of a bullied cat it isn't nice I get upset for my little dopey fluff puff but he would be really unhappy staying inside all the time. It is cat behaviour to be territorial though maybe those calming plug in's/cat nip and a change of food might help

My cat often only pops out for a short time and other times times he will stay out for ages (I don't leave him outside all day) your neighbour is also making the choice to keep her cats as mainly outdoor cats even though they are being attacked

Maybe suggest a cat flap and half the cost ?

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 16/03/2017 11:40

And of course you don't have to rehome him or anything worse

GeekGoddess · 16/03/2017 11:56

Waterytart, although I understand some of your sentiments (but don't share them) you do seem to feel excessively strongly about this. Mentions of trapping and releasing cats, despite not endorsing it yourself, is over emotive and disproportionate to the wrongs of op's cat's behaviour. Try and maintain perspective for everyone's sake.

WateryTart · 16/03/2017 12:10

Oh, the thread police have spoken.

However, I care not a fig for your opinion, Geek.

I do feel strongly about this, mainly because I've seen a rabbit savaged and killed by a cat that the neighbour can't be arsed to keep in its own garden. I've seen the child cry and helped to bury it.

We have cat proof fencing, so no cat can get in our garden these days.

I believe it's time cat owners were forced to act responsibly, as so many don't, as witnessed by this thread.

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