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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Punishment in secondary school

52 replies

Bellini81 · 14/03/2017 10:32

Just trying to get some perspective regarding my 14 year old daughter and what happened in her French class before I make my next move. Sorry its long I don't want to drip feed.

My daughter has attended this secondary school since year 7, took ages to settle in (3 years!) as her best friend wendied her out of every friendship circle but has since found a good little group of friends and generally likes school, her grades are good, her homework is done without fail, she is the complete opposite of me at that age basically.

My dd is also shy, reserved and finds it hard to meet people in the eye but is working on this with her mentor that she has through her school, so far so good.

My dd has said for a while that her French teacher doesn't like her but I have taken that with a pinch of salt, as I remember being a teenager and feeling like the world was against me some days, but one of her friends stayed last Saturday and they were chatting about school etc and her friend said 'Ms M** really doesn't like you does she?'

Fast forward to yesterday and my dd said that she pronounced something wrong in French class (Sept if you're interested) so for her 'punishment' the teacher ordered my dd to come to the front of the class and perform seven star jumps in front of everyone, I was a bit Hmm my dd said everyone was really laughing and then some spent the rest of the class telling her how red she was and though its not a big deal in the grand scheme of things going on in the world, she is quite mortified and is now feeling nervous about participating in class. I found out one other pupil was made to do two star jumps (after my dd) but anyone else who pronounced anything wrong in class wasn't made to do the star jumps.

I have to add the school was recently put into special measures by OFSTED so I am guessing there is a lot of pressure on the teachers at the moment but I still find what happened odd..Would I be unreasonable to want to write the teacher an email asking her wth?

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 14/03/2017 12:16

That is weird and you are right to complain however the next step if you get no joy from the teacher (which would hopefully be 'I'm so sorry, don't know what possessed me and I'll apologise to your DD too) would be the head of languages. This isn't appropriate for the head of year as they don't have responsibility for teaching, and the headteacher would be a last resort after that.

Trifleorbust · 14/03/2017 13:08

The only way I can imagine the teacher explaining this is that star jumps are a forfeit rather than a punishment, so it's kind of like a game. But that wouldn't really make sense if the rest of the class weren't expected to do them.

Iamastonished · 14/03/2017 13:16

I think I might be inclined to send the head of year a separate email anyway, outlining what happened. Just stick to the facts.

Porpoiselife · 14/03/2017 13:27

I'm all for children being punished for messing about in school, but this is just very wrong. To punish someone for not knowing an answer is incredible. And to have her do something humiliating is just unbelievable. That teacher has a serious issue and even if she didn't like your daughter, your daughter along with everyone else should be blissfully unaware of this. It sounds like the teacher is a bit of a bully if you ask me and is targeting your child.

leccybill · 14/03/2017 20:42

Let us know how you get on, op.

Bellini81 · 14/03/2017 21:20

Right well this afternoon my dd was pulled out during lesson by the teacher and apologised to and was told that she would respond to my email, my dd said she looked sheepish and that she said she would never use that sort of punishment again.

I received an email back this evening stating that she would like to talk to me (on the phone) and asked the best time to call tomorrow. So that's where we stand at the moment.

I don't know really what to say to her now she has apologised to my daughter, but I will be questioning why she used that particular 'punishment' in a language class Angry

OP posts:
glueandstick · 14/03/2017 21:26

It's good she has apologised to your daughter.

However because I hate to see this sort of 'punishment' (which makes kids less likely to participate in a class that really needs participation) I would want her to apologise to the whole class and tell them she won't do it again. If she can humiliate publicly she should apologise publicly.

cansu · 14/03/2017 21:27

It was probably meant to be an amusing forfeit and maybe some kids in the class responded to it. That said it is a ridiculous thing to do and she must be a bit daft to not consider how it might make some students feel. I think the fact that she has apologised is good. I would just accept the apology and move on. You have made your point and were right to raise it.

Andro · 14/03/2017 21:28

Ask her what she hoped to achieve by punishing a mispronounciation and, why making a mistake merited punishment as opposed to it being corrected and your DD being asked to repeat the correct form.

noblegiraffe · 14/03/2017 21:29

I don't know, wouldn't a public apology just embarrass your DD and remind the kids of the star jumps? Then all the kids would be talking about the apology and it would get the embarrassing incident to a wider audience than originally.

Athome77 · 14/03/2017 21:35

God if I was made to do something like that I'd be mortified,my boobs don't do star jumps in a regular bra- only sports bras!

Sunnysky2016 · 14/03/2017 21:36

What a stupid thing to do. Talk about knocking a kids confidence.

MadMags · 14/03/2017 21:40

She humiliated dd in front of the whole class, she should apologise in front of the whole class.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 14/03/2017 21:43

The apology should have definitely been in front of the whole class tbh. Also I would also have cced in head of year or head of department as I doubt this is a one off.

Rickandmorty · 14/03/2017 21:51

If she apologises in front of the whole class I think everyone will be talking about it and it will be embarrassing for your DD. I personally think as she has apologised she probably wants to convey her apology to you as well and beyond that I'm not sure anything else is necessary, as long as your dd feels fine staying in her class.

Bellini81 · 14/03/2017 21:51

Thank you for all your views, I'm actually going to write this stuff down for the telephone call tomorrow Flowers

OP posts:
MadMags · 14/03/2017 21:57

I see what you're saying Rick, but at the very least she needs to hold her hands up and say she fucked up and will stop using that punishment for everyone, not just dd!

noblegiraffe · 14/03/2017 22:05

I think a teacher who has had a complaint, had to apologise to a kid and make a phone call to a pissed-off parent wouldn't need telling not to do that kind of thing again!

leccybill · 14/03/2017 22:23

I'd draw a line under it now to be honest.

Thinking a little further on it. I am a Languages teacher. I have a rowdy group of Yr6 boys who would respond really well to this kind of (agreed in advance) 'forfeit'. Especially if we'd previously reinforced how to pronounce high frequency words such as basic numbers.

It absolutely wasn't the correct sanction for your daughter. But it's not a completely bonkers idea for some classes, in some circumstances. Like I said earlier, the teacher's relationship with the class and the individual children in it often determines the learning style.

LittleIda · 15/03/2017 11:01

Now she's apologised there's not a lot left to say. I suppose if you complained about it now on the phone it would seem ungracious. I suppose she can explain what her thinking was when she did it. Hopefully she will be nicer to your dd from now on.

LuxCoDespondent · 15/03/2017 11:29

I think you need to be very firm in the phone call and if possible record it (if you use your landline and use the voice recorder on your mobile, the microphone of the mobile pressed against the earpiece of your landline, you'll pick up both sides of the conversation). State that the teacher's behaviour was unacceptable, and that any further abuse of position by the teacher will result in a formal complaint and that you will go to the press.

LittleIda · 15/03/2017 11:47

If she goes to the press the Daily Mail will probably get her doing sad face star jumps which will be even more embarrassing for the dd.

Bellini81 · 15/03/2017 16:12

Haha I would never go to the daily fail.. my daughter would never speak to me again.

I haven't had the phone call yet but school only finished an hour ago...

OP posts:
StarlitTrees · 16/03/2017 19:57

Did she call you OP?

tinglyfing · 16/03/2017 20:05

I would be fucking raging!!!!!!
How dare she do that to your poor daughter!
Angry for you!!

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