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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not have the energy to care

17 replies

Beth2511 · 13/03/2017 18:33

this is going to sound god awful but i have a 2 year old and a 5 month old and am a lone parent and im just empty.

im so so so exhausted i just cant bring myself to care anymore. the baby cries and it annoys me because he needs feeding yet again. the toddler wants to opay constantly and i get annoyed because i just havent got the energy.

i just donr know what to do anymore other than to give them to someone who can be the good mum they deserve

OP posts:
fc301 · 13/03/2017 18:38

Get yourself booked into the GP & health visitor ASAP. You have done the right thing by reaching out for help.
You clearly do care about the quality of the care you give your children and I'm sure you are doing an amazing job. It is very hard & if you are not coping it will be exhaustion and /or depression.
Hang in there love 💐💐

Moanyoldcow · 13/03/2017 18:38

Oh Beth - it must be so hard. You sound like you might be depressed - can you see your doctor?

I've only got one but the lack of sleep that early on was horrendous and with a toddler you must be beside yourself.

Do you have anywhere you could go for a break? Sister/mother/friend?

Thinking of you - I know how horrid it is at times.

Original poster
Beth2511 · 13/03/2017 18:43

i already have close contact with the HV thanks to the car crash that is my life.

i dont think im depressed im just bloody exhausted.

i literally dont have anyone to give me a break

OP posts:
EsmesBees · 13/03/2017 18:45

You poor thing. Could you put the 2 year old in nursery for a couple of half days so you get a bit of a break?

PamplemousseRouge · 13/03/2017 18:46

I'm so sorry I don't have any advice to give Beth but just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you Flowers

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 13/03/2017 18:48

Any friendly neighbours? Local mner to meet for a coffee??

Angela0413 · 13/03/2017 18:49

Two little ones are utterly exhausting. I am not a lone parent and eldest in nursery a few days a week when they were this age and I was still exhausted. Can anyone have them both so you can have a regular couple of hours to yourself? I go to the gym for a break from the kids and love it as its time for me and I feel better in myself as getting fitter.

Original poster
Beth2511 · 13/03/2017 18:53

my toddler gets 15 hours free split over a mon and weds. except the weds now clashes woth her SALT and the monday is always fully booked out with appointments i cant have with a toddler there.. whole bloody world wants me on the mondays.

i have a lovely neighbour for moral support but she has MS so would never ask her to help kid wise.

i pretty much have no money, no friends and no family.

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 13/03/2017 19:50

Homestart has volunteer visitors who can give you a break. Either company, or sitting with the children while you have a bath etc.
Have you asked about any support services?

Wolfiefan · 13/03/2017 19:51

It really does sound like depression OP. Please do reach out for help.

Original poster
Beth2511 · 13/03/2017 19:57

home start arent accepting any new referrals in my area at the moment, the health visitor tried already. then there is a local church that do similar but because home start stopped here they are overwhelmed with too many too!

OP posts:
Marmalade85 · 13/03/2017 20:01

OP I'm a single mother to one 15month old boy. You're doing a great job day to day, of course it's hard but you will get through this. I used to come home from work and cry because I was so exhausted and that's okay. You're doing brilliantly looking after two children, well done

Original poster
Beth2511 · 13/03/2017 20:19

also how do you get the energy for housework. we were up at 6.30am, its now 8.30 nearly and baby still settling down and i have sooo much housework to do as health visitor is coming tomorrow.

i know im being watched like a hawk to make sure im coping so leaving it is not an option :(

OP posts:
jesterkat · 13/03/2017 20:42

Where shouts in the country are you? Maybe someone on here knows of a service to help local to you. I have two kids with just 2 years, big is 3 in may, little is 1 in may. And by god it was hard in the beginning. Trust me it does get easier, not overnight, but it will get easier over time.

Original poster
Beth2511 · 13/03/2017 20:56

dorset.

i have 22 months between mine, oldest is non verbal and has a lot of issues thanks to her father. baby was in and out of hospital for weeks

OP posts:
badabeedabom · 13/03/2017 21:02

You poor thing.

My DC2 was about the same age when I was hit by PND. It was bloody awful.

Can you talk to the HV about it?

I understand what you're saying about leaving the housework not being an option but FFS, our house was a tip when DCs were that age and there were two of us adults in the house! Wearing yourself out will make it even worse, you need some good rest. Surely they must realise that Angry

I don't know much about the UK system so unfortunately I don't have any practical advice but have a virtual Brew from me and please know that you're not alone. This is a common problem and it's not your fault.

Original poster
Beth2511 · 13/03/2017 21:55

im just so fed up :( life wasnt meant to be like this

OP posts:
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