Weddings, RSVPs and no-shows

[MarcelineQueen]

We're getting married next month and have 80 people confirmed for the day do, and another 50 invited for the evening.

All day guests have RSVP'd but only 3 of the evening guests have. Is this a thing? I've got no problem with people not coming might actually prefer it but would like to know roughly how many are likely to turn up so I can make sure there is enough food.

Happy to contact people and ask directly, but just wondered what others experiences were. Can I just safely assume half will turn up and cater accordingly?

AtHome, that's a little weird to invite your friend and not his partner!

Shadows - not particularly. She wasn't very nice and I've been to plenty of weddings where one partner is invited and the other comes to the evening do - depends how well you know/how much you like the partner.

Also, I'd have been fine with them both not coming, but not doing what they did. Trying to weasel your way in is shocking.

WOw, really?! Can honestly say that dh and I have never had different levels of invite regardless of how well we know the B & G.

Weddings truly bring out the weird in people!

athome

I agree with others that it is weird and rude to give different levels of invites to a married couple. It is against etiquette too.

I'm not surprised they don't want to talk to you!

But they weren't married, she was a girlfriend the bride didn't like.

I don't think it weird at all to invite someone you like and are close to, to the whole day and their partner just to the evening (if at all, if i didn't like them they'd get no invite at all!)

My work colleagues were invited to evening do with partners. I did this because I thought it would be nicer for them to go with their partners, plus wanted to avoid them turning it into a works do. Unknown to me, one particularly pushy workmate had unilaterally decided that she was going to persuade all my workmates that 'no one' was taking their partner, and that they should all agree to just go by themselves/share taxis. The reality was, her husband didn't want to go, therefore she didn't want to be the only one by herself.

Imagine my surprise when instead of 12 couples (who we'd catered for) showing up, only 12 workmates showed up and proceeded to move tables/chairs so they could all sit together, like one big work do, and not mingle with anyone. So rude.

Is it just a bacon sandwich each that the evening guests will get, there's literally no other food being put on for them? That wouldn't do for me, I like to "snack" when I'm drinking at events (weddings, birthdays etc) in between smoke breaks and topping up the vodka!

The free bar is a great touch but could you stretch to a few platters of "party" food, sausages, some sort of chicken, nice crisps? I wouldn't like you very much if you only gave me a bacon sandwich. (Lol)

I'm not being a dick, I hope you have a lovely day but if you didn't feed me properly I'd take my cash-gift home again!

Wando - really awful of your friend, but would it not have been vastly easier to just have had one bridesmaid fewer?

The evening guests aren't very important otherwise they would be invited to the wedding breakfast... and they know it. That's why they're not RSVPing. Following them up seems to be rubbing salt in the wound so I'd just leave it and budget for the full number.

I think how evening invites are perceived in terms of need to RSVP varies between social circles and it's hard to generalise what the expectations are. If the actual wedding breakfast is tiny (as in,

athome

I wouldn't send an invitation like that personally but that's a separate issue. Just turning up with her and demanding she be seated is fucking outrageous, and no doubt very stressful for you on the day.