Seething

[Sonicgirl]

Hi sorry for probably a total whinge but....
A bit of background. Husband emotionally, verbally and financially abusive since birth of son. Things a bit better since he gave up alcohol (was drinking 172 units a week). No nighttime help, I'm main breadwinner (just going back after a period of sick leave with depression caused by situation). Now not home in evening because working self employed and no
Money put into joint account this month. Secretly buying stuff with money I don't know about. MIL has told me in the past that I am a horrible person up my own arse and caused son to be an alcoholic when I lost my head and told her about the abuse. This weekend she is staying, I have cooked and tidied. Then tonight they decide to do my ironing and husband puts a load of washing on. Let it go after saying she didn't need to do my ironing, now on second load and I've asked them to stop nicely it she just said ("jokingly") to my husband haven't you got a dummy for her? Also paid for everything this weekend and when I said please let me pay for some things as I feel uncomfortable she told me to stop arguing and don't mess with me (again"jokingly"). Also constantly trying to belittle my son and i's close relationship and making a point of me sending him to nursery and how it's inferior to being a SAHM. Sorry but it's all so under the radar and passive aggressive from her and him and I'm going to look like a psycho if I snap!!! Sorry if this makes little sense

why are you living with him?

Don't know how you would deal with all that to be honest 😥 hope your ok and things get better

they decide to do my ironing and husband puts a load of washing on. Let it go after saying she didn't need to do my ironing, now on second load and I've asked them to stop nicely

You say 'let it go' as if they were burning your possessions. What's so awful about this?

If your Dh is abusive you should LTB but I don't get the above.

MIL problem is self-limiting as the weekend is nearly over. It sounds like she is trying to be helpful and not take advantage of your hospitality.

You need to work out what you really want to do about your relationship.

Tell her to fuck off and take her manchild with her.

Your husband is abusiive.
You mil is abusive.

throw them both out. Fuckers.

I do get what you say and yes it sounds so totally ridiculous when I type about getting the cob on about doing my ironing. I know it sounds weird but even when I say it's really kind but seriously please leave the rest until tomorrow it's late I get told to wind my neck in. It's the background of it all too if I'm honest and I'm grateful for her being generous but when I'm told in a very passive aggressive way not to make her angry when I say please Let me just pay for the museum entry. I know I sound like a psycho

Only reason I stay is because I don't want to have my son live away from me for several nights a week.

Why would DS have to stay away from you? Presumably with an abusive man who has an alcohol problem?

Have a bit more faith in the family court system, OP. Or stop making excuses to yourself.

Highinthesky - appreciate you giving me a very valid point but unfortunately because he was given up alcohol for 5 months now he would probably be able to get 50:50 access (I went to see a solicitor)