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AIBU?

To expect my DH to stay awake for most of the day at weekends and in the evening during the week?

16 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/03/2007 21:11

Every Saturday and Sunday he has a lie in, and usually takes himself off to bed in the afternoon or early evening. When he comes home from work, he takes himself off for a nap when I get in (NB, I commute to London, he works 2 minutes down the road).

I am getting tired (excuse the pun) of it. It is like being married to a fucking sloth. I feel like that Duracell bunny that just keeps on drumming when the others conk out.

And I am knackered.

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InTheHouse · 04/03/2007 21:15

Would drive me mad. What age are your child(ren)?

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/03/2007 21:16

They are 8 and 6. So still need entertaining and playing with.

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WideWebWitch · 04/03/2007 21:16

I'd be apoplectic if my dh did this. What's his excuse?

Dh loves his sleep but we get equal amounts of it, take it in turns to have a lie in and he'd have to be on his death bed to go to sleep when he got in.

WideWebWitch · 04/03/2007 21:17

Can you go away for 2 whole days and blissfully sleep in a huge hotel bed and leave him to it so that you a) get some sleep and b) show him what it's like doing it alone

Hulababy · 04/03/2007 21:18

Definitely not unreasonable. I can never understand why grown adults, with normal work situations, need daytime naps and that amount of sleep. I think you need to have it out with him and get him to be more involved in his family life.

InTheHouse · 04/03/2007 21:19

Seems like a lot of sleep for anyone...whys he so knackered?

imaginaryfriend · 04/03/2007 21:19

I have the same. My dp always lies in even if I've been up half the night with dd when she's poorly. He wakes up at 11am and says 'hey that was a rough night.' I'm usually too tired to be bothered to reply. I don't have an answer.

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/03/2007 21:25

WWW - I went to Canada for 10 days for work (and fun) before Christmas, so he "had" to get on with it - so he can do it when he has to.

He was working in London last week and said on Tuesday that as he found the commuting so tiring, he was thinking of booking a hotel there for the rest of the week. I do the journey every day. I wasn't very polite (and he didn't get his hotel).

I don't know why he is so knackered. He seems to be getting worse as he gets older.

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prufrock · 04/03/2007 21:30

If he is actually sleeping for all that time, and is getting a regular 6 hours plus at night then I would send him to the GP. (Actualy I'd probably just yell at him a lot because it would piss me off so much, but you should get him to get checked for stuff like glandular fever/ME)

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/03/2007 21:34

I'll suggest it to him, Prufrock. Unfortunately I suspect it's just Lazyitis.

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entropy · 04/03/2007 21:35

still no advice but my dh is just as rubbish. he never gets up to dd but has the cheek to complain that my getting in and out of bed disturbs him more than her crying. His face when I brought a screaming dd in to co-sleep at 3am was a picture! (he decamped to the living room and slept on the carpet!!!) he gets up early for work in the week and likes his sleep so is reluctant to get up with us at weekends. even when he promises that he will, when the baby squeals he just mutters and starts snoring again. If I get mad at this its me who is being unfair! and like the OP we have the same row every weekend..... The other night I had 1h sleep, he had about 6. but I was coping OK the next day (and had an appointment at 9am the next morning with dd) and he was dependent on red bull and coffee to stay awake at work. Its hard not to get mad but he genuinly can't cope if his sleep is interrupted. I don't know what we would do if we were both like him.

paulaplumpbottom · 04/03/2007 21:39

Give him a cup of strong coffe and tell him to move his butt

franca70 · 04/03/2007 21:40

dh never fails of falling asleep on the couch at around 6 pm while the children are playing. grrrr.

ravenAK · 04/03/2007 21:45

We all have different exhaustion patterns. I'll cook tea still wearing my coat if need be, so long as it's understood that kids in bed @ 7-7.30 = me off duty & all outstanding housework is dh's problem.

Equally, dh regularly flakes out on weekend afternoons - his payback for me having a lie-in because my work means I've to get up earlier than him all week...

Does sound like your dh is taking the proverbial a bit. Otoh, erratic/excessive sleeping can be a sign of depression.

I think you should definitely talk it through with him.

franke · 04/03/2007 21:48

Maybe you could gently suggest that he takes some exercise and gets some fresh air. It's a magic cure for "lazyitis".

MrsSchadenfreude · 04/03/2007 21:54

I've suggested he go for a walk with the children in the local forest at weekends, so that he can spend some quality time with them and I can do the ironing but of course, he is always too tired...

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