To ask about your parents and discipline?

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

And how you feel about them/their parenting style?

I was a child of the 80s and my parents either locked me in my room alone (usually not knowing what I'd done wrong) or hit me - open hand, wooden spoon or belt. Not so that it left bruises but it was pretty unpleasant.

I resent them hugely for this now, don't have a good relationship with DM (DF isn't in the picture) and their discipline style didn't have the desired consequences - I rebelled a lot as a teenager.

How did your parents discipline and do you feel like this has changed your relationship in a positive or negative way?

Thanks for any sharing.

[yecartmannew]

70's. Mum and Dad were divorced when I was small so I had 2 very different parenting styles.

Dad - only saw me in the school holidays so was what would now be deemed a Disney Dad. i loved him very much but didn't have an awful lot of respect for him. Would often moan or sulk if I didn't get my own way (which very often did get me what I wanted). I was often disapointed though because he would never say no, he just wouldn't come up with the goods. Example, every Christmas and Birthday he would ask what I wanted. I always said a pony, He would say "we'll see" but I never got that pony. So twice a year I was gutted.

Mum - Quite strict, would get told off lots and that slap across the back of the legs....oh my, especially with wet hands if she happened to be washing up at the time! However she was very fair. I always knew what it was for, it was never done in temper. And I knew if she said "sorry but no" she meant it. I didn't ask again and was never under false illusions.

But my main memories and the first thing that comes to mind when asked about my childhood is that the house was full of laughter, we did loads of stuff together and had a really close bond. It was me and her against the world. The discipline had no negative impact overall because it was always fair.

I wouldn't have changed my childhood for the world.

[CleanMess]

Born mid sixties. Literally don't ever remember being told off and certainly never 'punished'. Sometimes asked wearily to do something though but not often. No rules that I can think of even as a teen. We were also never ever nagged about school work. It was a happy and fun household. Although I think my mum was more stressed that we realised. I wasn't a very observant child

Dad didn't live with us but was around. Never witnessed my parents arguing or being unpleasant to each other.

I think we were a bit wild but we were ok. I was a cheerful and well behaved child so I don't think it mattered at all for me. One of my siblings was similar to me but the other two could have done with some boundaries I suppose. One used to say fuck every other word which was a bit much, he was also sulky if my mum didn't buy him things sometimes. I thought that was bratty.

My dc are grown ups now but I did discipline them and I shouted at them too. They were all well behaved kids though and very polite. I just don't think that it's in children's interest to be too 'ferel' these days.

My parents were and are extremely loving and emotionally supportive. I think I'm the same with my kids.

[CleanMess]

Wow, some of these are awful

[fairweathercyclist]

Another child of the 70s. A quick smack was quite a common occurrence but it did not bother me, I'd usually done something to deserve it and I'm not sure the more physiological punishments that are employed now are really any better. Quick clip round the ear and move on (although in most cases I don't think it was really done as a punishment but because the parent had lost it). I don't know if smacking your child is better as a result of losing it, or in cold blood as a punishment!

[gluteustothemaximus]

I don't think smacking is ever fair. In temper, or calculated punishment. It teaches nothing, except ruling by fear.

An adult smacks/hits an adult? Assault.

An adult smacks/hits a child? Discipline (apparently).

[Lostpangolin]

Brought up in the sixties. Mum used her hand, or the pot stick, or a switch out of the hedge. Dad very rarely got involved, you knew it was bad if he did. I thought everyone's parents did the same. I rebelled strongly once I'd left home at 16. I was never close to mum, although she apparently thought the sun shone out of me.