To want to move to a cheaper part of the country?

[ragz134]

We currently live in a lovely village in the south east, we rent a reasonable 3 bed house which is cheap for our area. £775pcm, every other 3 bed here is over £1k a month but ours needs a bit of work and we have been here nearly 5 years and rent hasn't gone up. If we had to move out (renting is never secure, we had to leave our last place after a year as landlord wanted to sell and it took us nearly a year to find our current house!) we would not be able to stay in the village and would have to move to a big town on the coast.
I like to plan ahead, long term. DH doesn't think like that... We are currently on a low income (we get housing benefit for half our rent) as i am a nursing student and DH works part time so he can do school runs and holidays etc. But I will qualify in 2.5 years as a nurse and will then be able to earn 21k a year (seems like a lot to us, but in the south east it doesn't go far). Once DCs are older DH will be able to work more (he is self employed, gardening and machinery repairs) and so both our incomes will increase and childcare restraints will decrease, but with cost of rents here even when this happens we won't be much better off as we would lose the housing benefit and some tax credits so would probably not feel any better off. Certainly would struggle to save a deposit and I would like to own a home one day, or if not at least be able to rent a bigger house as I can't expect our 3 DCs to leave home young due to cost of rents here and we have 2 sharing a room which is fine at the moment but won't be when they are adults.

My plan/idea is to move to a cheaper area of the country when I qualify (nurses can work anywhere) so that we can save for a deposit or at least have bigger house. DH doesn't agree. He feels that he would be unable to work in a cheaper part of the country - he hopes to focus on the machinery repair, my argument is that most people with lawns have lawnmowers that need fixing! Plus, every area has pockets of wealth?
I am not particularly tied to our area, as much as I love our village, I am happy to live anywhere and travel to visit family when necessary.
So, my AIBU is in two parts I suppose. AIBU to want to move to another area in order to be more financially secure and hopefully one day buy a house? AIBU to plan this far ahead and expect DH to be able to do the same? He is very much a plodder, live for now etc. I come from poverty and although my parents did once buy their council flat, they sold it and spent the money in a few years and now have nothing. I don't want that kind of future. Perhaps I get too wrapped up in this and expect too much?
Sorry for the essay...

YANBU to plan your life, be ambitious and determined. You sound like someone who knows what they want and goes for it.
YABU to expect your DH to have the same level of drive as you and to be happy moving out of the area if he is attached to it. But you are right to plan how to achieve your goals and to chivvy him along into realising what he wants rather than plodding. Just keep opening his mind to what you could have, compromise a little on the area to make him more comfortable and in 2.5 years time who knows what he'll be open to.

This is exactly what we are doing. We're moving from the south east to the north east. Salaries for our type of jobs are fairly consistent across the country (and not enough to buy a house anywhere in the south east without a massive deposit). We're buying a 3 bed semi for about a 1/5th of the price of the 2 bed terrace we currently rent is being sold for. We're moving to an 'up and coming' area so that's one reason why it's so cheap I think, but I'm just too used to south east prices. I have had a few wobbles about moving so far from my friends and family but it's only 4 hours on the train to come back down so it's not like we're going to the other side of the world. It's definitely worth considering your options if you can get your DH to entertain the idea.

Absolutely move. I lived in London and had nothing. Now we have a huge house, security, wages stretch and we can save.

YANBU, on paper you two are the exact type of couple who could live and work anywhere, and do very well in a cheaper area. Your quality of life could be ridiculously better. It sounds like you could be on 40k combined easily enough in a few years and believe me, that will mean enough to do you nicely in a lot of areas.

I don't think DH is necessarily BU not to want to move though, particularly as you seem to hint you have family locally. However... what he doesn't get to do is bury his head in the sand and excuse himself from any future planning requirements. If he doesn't want to relocate, which is understandable, he needs to be coming up with solutions to your unaffordable housing problem. This should include planning for how you will afford to continue paying rent in retirement and what you will do once you stop getting TCs for your DC (bear in mind you may well find yourselves still financially supporting them at least in part during this period).

I think you need to research just how far you'd need to go for it to be significantly cheaper. There's this idea that anywhere outside the se is cheap as chips but actually we live in the rural sw and houses are still incredibly expensive, yet wages are lower, day to day costs comparable, yet there is no public transport and you have to drive everywhere. the nearest place to buy a toothbrush and pack of socks is a 25 minute drive away

You'd be looking at over £1k for a 3 bed here too

I figured OP was talking about north or Wales. South west is almost as bad but without as many well paying jobs locally, no? That would be out of the frying pan into the fire!

In my area housing association prices are £400 and private is £600 a month

YANBU but the rent you are currently paying sounds very cheap for any part of the country other than very depressed areas. Nurses are in very short supply in the SE but in those depressed areas they may not be so in demand as,mas you say, £21k upwards is classed as a good salary.

So do your homework. Consider schools, commutes, travel costs the whole lot and then work towards that plan very wisely.

Good luck!

Nurses are in demand in most places. OP isn't going to have trouble finding employment once she is qualified, and it isn't harder to recruit outside the SE. Often the opposite, in fact.

When you talk about machinery repair is DH able to fix agricultural machinery? If so there's a lot of farming in Lincolnshire (also quite a few lawns but you know what I mean)although I'm in NI so not sure about the house prices now but a close friend bought there for work 4 years ago and it was on a level with here. We are over twice a year for agriculture trials and shows and I would love to retire there in the dim and distant future although DH wouldn't leave here

Perhaps you need to assume you can work but actively look at His line of work and see if there are actually jobs for him?

I was going to say the same, if he can learn to repair agricultural machinery that opens up lots of areas to move to - Cheshire, Lancs as well as Lincolnshire, Yorkshire. Go for it, we moved away and no regrets!

we live in the rural sw and houses are still incredibly expensive, yet wages are lower, day to day costs comparable, yet there is no public transport and you have to drive everywhere

South Wales? Or S West, somewhere else?

I'm in 'rural' ish S Wales...the Gower. Some houses are expensive but there are still plenty of reasonably priced family houses compared to lots of the UK...£200kish. And a lot cheaper in other near areas, it's the excellent Secondary school that really pushes prices up in the Gower.

I know plenty of people with 'normal' jobs - nurses, police or call centre or shop workers - who have two salaries of £20kish and live very comfortably in their own homes.

NI isn't to everyone's taste, but if you like it and can find somewhere to suit you it has some of the best quality of life available in the UK for people who have secure employment. I do know, however, that it's spectacularly difficult to get entry level positions there. People often move over to get a few years professional experience under their belts, then move back later. I have known NHS staff who have done this because they felt they had no other choice. So I doubt it would suit OP on qualification, but after she has got some experience under her belt absolutely.

NI is sort of an extreme example of a lot of the UK outside the south of England. The economy isn't anything like as good, no. But if you are someone who can find secure employment anywhere, or you've a skillset which there is demand for, you're likely to have a much better qualify of life outside the south. Put bluntly, it's a good choice if you can make the 'depressed' economy work for you.

I moved out of London where I rented a one bed flat. I'm now in a great big house. The mortgage is one third of the rent I used to pay. I have so many more options and prefer the slower, friendlier and less stressful lifestyle. I think you should go for it. It will make such a difference to your lives.

Thanks for the insights everyone. I suppose the areas I am most considering are Scotland or counties on the welsh border. DH would eventually like to do more engineering than repairs and this would be quite specialist and possibly all done by mail order so that wouldn't matter on location, but until then it's fixing petrol machinery (not quite up to tractors!).

I think I'm going to plan our next few years camping holidays around areas I think we could live (Scotland this year to see my Dad anyway) and then we can get an idea of what different areas are like. I'm from wales but wouldn't want to live there, but bordering counties like Shropshire maybe.

Also, paying off credit card and trying to save even a little will be helpful. Whether it's for a mortgage or moving. More 'talks' with DH definitely needed too. We tend to get so caught up in day to day stuff that it is easy to forget about the future, but I suppose that's the same for many.

Like your attitude and mindset OP. Absolutely go for it!

Great idea with the holidays good way to scope out different areas

Had a good chat with the in laws today, they are always talking about selling up and moving and recently they have started house hunting again (they do this every year though!). But they have gone as far as having their house valued last week and are looking online at propertied, specifically on the welsh borders. They are recently retired and paid off mortgage with inheritance and could get a much bigger place there with money leftover. They are very supportive of my ideas and I'm hoping they will help sow the seeds with DH. If they move first it will give us a chance to visit and look around the area etc.
I also talked through my career plans and the importance of having long term goals. It was really helpful. I come from a background where many of my family don't work or haven't stayed in the same job long and very fee are homeowners so I'm a bit of an odd one out with my ambition and dreams... It was nice to have a positive discussion and I feel really buoyed up by it.