To ask neighbour to stop toddlers charging in shoes at 5am?

[stirling]

Hi,
Neighbours are retired teachers who have a a set of toddlers (their grandchildren) coming to stay every now and then (sometimes up to 6 days). The mother also comes to stay. Our neighbours have recently spent 1.5 years rebuilding their entire house and it's ALL wood flooring.

Toddlers put on their shoes and begin charging around the house anytime between 5 and 6 am. It lasts for an hour then there's silence for the rest of the day. I'm baffled. I can't function if I've been up since 5, prone to very severe headaches - an ongoing separate issue that neighbours know about.

I'd go over and politely request that all stampeding commences as of 7am onwards, but neighbour is a highly sensitive woman who takes it all personally. I say this because for the 1.5 years they had building works going on, I put up with( for a year) the fact that their builders would turn up at 4pm and begin drilling/sanding: just when my children were back from school, or when I'd start tutoring. I eventually asked nicely if they could ask their builders to work reasonable hours but she turned bitchy to say the least.
Nevertheless I carried on dragging their bins out every weekend (they're always away just before bin collection day) and eventually they've thanked me. They also know that my husband moved out a year ago and I'm struggling on my own and sleep is difficult anyway.

Any suggestions?
Thanks

buy them soft none slip slippers

I haven't painted a v clear picture. Should add that prior to building works, we all got on incredibly well, she would pop over for coffee - give me good advice, she would ask her children (both doctors) for opinions on my medication, in return I'd take good care of their house while they were frequently away. She's very ill with a debilitating illness right now, sometimes I think - let it be, who knows how much longer she has left to enjoy her grandchildren.
But then I'm only asking for quiet between 5 and 7 am....

If you don't get on that well now, what's to lose? Definitely mention it.

It's hard on the people being woken up, but it is almost impossible to stop toddlers making noise entirely.

but it is almost impossible to stop toddlers making noise entirely

At five am it is. And you can start by not putting shoes on them!

Toddlers definitely thud around very heavily on their feet don't they. Do you know they are putting on shoes that time of the morning? May just be their heavy footsteps I expect. I personally would ignore it, as hard as it might be. I don't think any adults want them doing this at that time of the morning anyway so they probably struggle with it too (esp with granny ill), its more than likely the childrens excitement at being at granny and grandads! Being that its just for an hour and then the rest of the day is silent plus it only happens when they are on a 6 day visit I don't think its really worth the tentions it may cause saying something. It is going to aggregate things by complaining even politely, especially if it is their special time with family, granny might not have long left and being that they probably don't want them up at that hour either i think you'd be treading on thin ground.
Shame your relationship with them has struggled recently, maybe this is a good time for letting things lie. Its probably seeming ten times worse right now after going through all their building work noise and your recent personal changes. If she was horrid to you when you mentioned the builders working hours I doubt you'll get an any better response on this.
I do sympathise but also see things from different sides. I used to have a neighbour that would complain about my sons footsteps going upstairs, after that something else, something else something else, we couldn't do anything right. I have also had neighbours that row and scream and slam doors regularly until 1am in the morning, total nightmare. Have had it both ways. I tend to live and let live and keep out of things as much as possible. I know you cant always but I can't stand neighbourly fallouts. I also think it is best not to get too friendly too and keep private, but thats me. I hope things improve for you stirling.

The shoes are likely because they'd slip on the wooden floors without. All you do is ask. Personally if the grandma is very ill I think I'd invest in some earplugs

Earplugs?

I think the key is that they probably hate it too. It's hard to see that anyone would like it.

What do you hope they'll do

I doubt they LOVE being up at that time with energetic toddlers either, so if it was easily fixed, they'ld have fixed it.

If you call over and tell them to keep toddlers still/quiet, they might suggest you come over next time and show them how it's done! (and you'll fail, even if you do!)

Many thanks everyone. Hmm, that's why I was in 2 minds.. Its interesting that some of you have said let it lie... Its why I haven't said anything up until now...

Non-slip slipper socks as a present?

are you in a flat?

What's the set-up between the two houses? Flats, semis?

their builders would turn up at 4pm and begin drilling/sanding: just when my children were back from school, or when I'd start tutoring.

since when has 4pm been an unreasonable time for building work?

There are other ways to entertain a toddler at 5AM rather than putting shoes on the child and letting it stomp around, yes children make noise but a bit of consideration for neighbours doesn't hurt does it.

Why not mention it? Don't make a big deal or anything just mention it

Yes I thought about gifting slipper socks after the suggestion at the top. Its a 3 bed semi, ridiculously thin walls. I don't mind them running about in the day, shouting, yelling - they're kids... We're not exactly a pin drop silence family. But sleep time is just that...

You bloody well can stop toddlers making noise at 5am. It's not like it's a baby crying. If mine was up at 5am I'd take her downstairs to the room furthest from adjoining wall and insist on some quiet tv watching until a reasonable hour. definitely no running and absolutely not in shoes.

I would absolutely say something OP, they are being very unreasonable.

I agree, Cheby.

My kids don't wear shoes in the house, but when they thunder around it sounds like they are wearing DMs! I suspect they are just noisy kids and the wooden floors makes it sound ridculously loud! I can't imagine any scenario where the GPs are getting up at 5am to put shoes on them, as most toddlers can't manage on their own. Hopefully the 5am wake ups won't last forever, but the thundering around might!

If you're worried about upsetting her, I'd mention it casually over the fence or drive next time you see her and say "golly those grandchildren of yours are early risers aren't they...you must be exhausted with such early starts when they're here" just so she's aware you're hearing them. If it carries on, post some slipper socks through the letterbox.

Thanks again all, really wise suggestions here...

5-7am is probably two cats having their mad hours. Ours do it at that time and sound like mini elephants on our floors. Do they have cats?