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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU To not want to take parcels?

134 replies

moonbeamdream · 09/03/2017 20:16

I'm currently on maternity leave hence I'm home a lot more than usual at the moment.

Usually I don't mind taking parcels for neighbours, but the last week we have taken at least 2 parcels a day for various neighbours. The neighbours to our left usually get home from work between 4-10pm, the lady next door always arrives home before her partner but he's always sent to collect said parcels from us. Most of the parcels we have taken have been for these neighbours.

At the moment I have four parcels in my porch, and tonight I just thought to myself why should I take parcels for the whole street when only a couple of neighbours take them for us?

AIBU do you not want to take parcel to anybody any more? Part from those that take them for us obviously. I always try and be neighbourly but this is getting beyond a joke. Even the post lady has commented that we are the only house that seems to take everyone's parcels. She even tries to use alternative neighbours as she understands it must be annoying, I think partly it's because I would like it if a neighbour took a parcel for me.

How do I say no if somebody tries to deliver a parcel for neighbour? I know it's easy to just say no but sometimes it's quite hard if that makes sense?

Sorry for such a long post about such a trivial problemGrin

OP posts:
ToastVacuum · 12/03/2017 13:42

Is it really that much hassle? Really? We work full time.

If you're out all day then you won't be answering the door through the day with attempted deliveries for other people.

If most people in a street are often out, it falls to a minority of households to become the street's parcel depot. So yes, it can certainly be a hassle if it's you.

Those who are out all day might just have 1 parcel to pick up after work from time to time, but for the neighbour who ends up taking in most of the street's deliveries, it's one of many (especially in streets with closely packed houses). People who work from home, have a new baby or are elderly should not end up being disturbed through the day by insistent delivery drivers.

I'd prefer not to take in so many, but Royal Mail require you to put a sticker on your letterbox to ensure they won't call, and then your neighbours might get huffy when they see it. I've also had some quite rude and sarcastic responses from delivery drivers when I've occasionally said no to someone else's parcel (e.g. when other people's stuff is already taking over the hallway). The nice old lady down the road might be totally fed up with taking in everyone else's mail but be afraid to say no.

NEmum · 12/03/2017 13:45

I'm on mat leave too and also have this problem!

What's worse is when you can see that people have ordered next day delivery and they're not bloody in to receive it!!

You are not being unreasonable at all not to take them in, if you're going to stop doing it though tell me how you manage as I'm too soft that say no!

Randomer234 · 12/03/2017 13:47

I take in for most of my neighbours as they do the same for us and we are all friendly and chat between ourselves... My one neighbour actually took in a huge box for us which was a handmade toy box for my son he even brought it round when I got home as it was so heavy. I only don't take in for 1 neighbour and that's due to them being ungrateful the one time I did (they have cameras all around their house, regular visitors for 5 minutes and the police on the door alot also) so I'd rather not get involved. I don't think yabu as it does disturb you so just ignore the door if your not personally expecting something.

2crazyboysandstillalive · 12/03/2017 13:50

I'm in the same boat, I take parcels in for neighbours I know, but no one else, and I have no problem with saying no.
It just means those neighbours have to collect it from the post office or rearrange collection.
If people don't have the decency to come to your house and be polite enough to ask to take in packages for them, then just say no.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 12/03/2017 13:51

Hillfarmer - if you are a woman you do have a vestibule actually (google it!).

bibbitybobbityyhat · 12/03/2017 13:54

Yes, of course it is a hassle, whoever it was who asked and expects sympathy because they work full time Confused.

I work from home and have lots of neighbours (London terraced street) so getting up and answering the door to couriers is indeed a hassle when it happens for the nth time that week.

notangelinajolie · 12/03/2017 14:00

Don't answer the door. They will knock somewhere else, the parcels cant be that important or the recipients would be waiting in for them - who orders something knowing they aren't going to be in to receive then?

SharkInTheSurf · 12/03/2017 14:00

None of my neighbours will take parcels in for me so I try to use click and collect or amazon lockers etc as much as possible.
I take them for other people but only for the delivery driver's benefit not the neighbour. It's funny when said neighbours who I don't get on with then have to come and knock to get them and I don't feel guilty because they shouldn't have caused the bad relations with me in the first place

BestZebbie · 12/03/2017 14:04

I don't like neighbours taking in parcels because it entangles me in a whole web of obligations and favours owed to other people, which I don't want.

To get my parcel I have to go to their house and disturb them, and then apologise both for that disturbance and for already taking advantage of their good nature in getting them to take in my stuff in the first place - even though I don't want to impose on them in the first place, Royal Mail did that in my name!

I did feel better disposed towards it all before I ordered a giant box containing several hamster cages and it was delivered to my neighbour (whilst I was in!) and clearly caused them a lot of inconvenience as it was about the size of their entrance hall, such that they were then in a huge huff with us for months. If it had been delivered to me or to the sorting office (as I kind of feel the contract to have it delivered to me rather than someone else implies) - or if they had refused it as being clearly too big for their house - I'd have had no neighbour strife.

Mammyofdeux · 12/03/2017 14:09

Stop yapping. Do the neighbourly thing and take their parcels

bibbitybobbityyhat · 12/03/2017 14:10

"Don't answer the door" is a stupid answer to this problem.

notangelinajolie · 12/03/2017 14:12

Lol

SavageBeauty73 · 12/03/2017 14:12

How weird. It doesn't bother me at all to take parcels in.

PollytheDolly · 12/03/2017 14:16

I don't like this either. I was home Friday and saw a parcel attempt opposite. So I let the dog in the garden. He went to another neighbour lol.

This neighbour always parks right opposite our drive making it awkward. Too lazy to park on his own so sod him.

BonnyScotland · 12/03/2017 14:18

I take parcels regularly for neighbours...

doesn't affect me either way ... they have on occasion taken in some for me... but I live quite rurally... so it's an appreciated kindness

SewMeARiver · 12/03/2017 14:20

You sound like a lovely neighbour to have driveinsane[Smile]

ovenchips · 12/03/2017 14:21

I think it's a nice neighbourly thing to do if you are in. Small neighbourly acts are kind and make everyone feel good (I am of course excluding known difficult neighbours from that scenario who I would avoid like the plague).

I take parcels in a fair bit (am at home a lot). I also get a lot of deliveries myself so get fairly regular notes to say my parcel is with neighbour. If I'm taking one in, I always ask the courier to leave a note to tell them we have their parcel. Sometimes they don't pick it up for a while, which I write off as their choice and don't worry about it being there.

Mostly it goes smoothly, sometimes a neighbour slightly annoys me or I slightly annoy them.

But I do only do it to the limit I am comfortable with, and I think that sounds like what you need to change. A happy medium of you being helpful but not resentful. I've refused on occasion.

Maybe you just need to practise a line to refuse delivery? 'Who's it for? Ah, sorry, I'm not able to do it for them.' Then you need to say NOTHING MORE, even if courier just stares at you! Leave it in air and start closing door...

Anniegetyourgun · 12/03/2017 14:21

I had a delivery driver attempt to foist a parcel on me a couple of years ago. I wasn't expecting anything, so I checked the address before signing for it and it was the right house number but the wrong street. I politely pointed out the mistake. He asked if I'd take it anyway. Er, no Hmm I was a wee bit snippy with him actually. There's doing a favour for a neighbour, which is nice if it's once in a while, but then there's doing the delivery guy's job for him which he is paid for (admittedly not very much). Of course if he couldn't be bothered to go and find the house he wouldn't be leaving them a useful card to say where their stuff had ended up, so it would be up to me to go round there with it, presumably repeatedly if they weren't in the first time. Good thing I'm not the parcel snaffling type.

SequinsOnEverything · 12/03/2017 14:39

Royal Mail require you to put a sticker on your letterbox to ensure they won't call, and then your neighbours might get huffy when they see it.

It's a very small sticker, I doubt neighbours would notice. I had one for a while because I was ordering lots of baby things and didn't want to inconvenience the neighbours with loads of packages.

If it's a problem for you to take in packages, just get one of the stickers.

SequinsOnEverything · 12/03/2017 14:40

public.datasquirt.co.uk/cscommsroyalmail/forms/DeliverytoNeighbourOpt-out

Here is where you request the stickers

SparkleMotions · 12/03/2017 14:47

I can understand your frustration, I'm at SAHM so end up having other people's parcels given to me, my neighbour used to stick a notice on her door saying to deliver straight to me, but never had to courtesy to ask before hand if this was ok! Ive stopped answering the door except when I am expecting a parcel.

CandleWithHair · 12/03/2017 14:57

OP, from the other side of the problem I say you are definitely not BU. I always request parcels be delivered to my Safe Place and yet there is one delivery company who refuse to heed the instructions and jut drop my parcels off willy nilly among my neighbours. It really pisses me off! I don't want to bother them, or have to go off traipsing down my road to houses where I dont even know the neighbour to get it back.

littlewoodentrike · 12/03/2017 15:03

YANBU. I too hate the obligation of having to pop round to the neighbours house after work to collect my parcel, and have to chat for a while, and vice versa. And why does it take people so long to come and collect parcels when they have been home for hpurs?! When I was pregnant, the old lady next door took in some parcels for me and then wouldn't let me collect them as they were 'too big/heavy' for me! She would only hand them over to my DH, who works very late and often couldn't get them until the weekend. That really p'd me off!

MummyTheGregor · 12/03/2017 15:36

YANBU - I bloody hate deliveries that drop off with a neighbour - the ones we're attached to are complete twunts and I don't ever want to talk to them.... and even the nice ones I find it fills me with anxiety to knock on their door to collect.

Meluzyna · 12/03/2017 16:44

We live in a street with only about ten houses.... as far as I am aware only the direct neighbours and we actually have parcels delivered and there's no problem taking them in for each other.
However, I was a bit WTF when I tracked my parcel from work and it said "delivered: signed for by Meluzyna".... It would have been much more helpful to put "delivered to the neighbours at number 10".... and truer, too. What is the point of requiring a signature if any Tom, Dick or Harry can just sign your name? Surely a "for signature" parce must be signed for giving the name of the person to whom it has been entrusted, not the intended recipient?

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