All the gifts...

[jennnnnnn]

I'm so sorry if this sounds ungrateful but I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do.
Mil volunteers in a charity shop and nearly every week buys us another gift from the shop. It's been going on since dh & I first moved in together a couple of years ago.
The most recent gifts I can think of off the top of my head include;

Photo frames
Cake slice shaped like a shoe
A toast holder with pots of jam
A food warmer
8 piece cheese set
Breakfast set (including another toast holder)
We have about 10 egg holders

The list goes on and on. We have no use for this stuff and it just sits in cupboards. I really hate having a lot of clutter, it actually stresses me out (I appreciate this might be my problem). I know she's not doing it out of badness but I'm really finding it hard to even say thanks now every time I'm handed something. I don't know what to do?!

I have said in passing that I don't like clutter and things like, oh I'm having to do a clear out as we have so much stuff etc. But it doesn't seem to work.

I think that it is very rude of you to accept all these gifts without giving in return. Go down to the charity shop and buy the hugest, naffest, most useless thing you can find. And then when MIL gives you the next unwanted present you have an instant right-back-atcha gift in response.

You have my sympathy. My mum loves trawling charity shops and has found some real gems; a lovely sandpit on legs for the garden and a dear little table for our playroom. I must admit she still also gives us a lot of random tat!

I just don't have the heart to tell her I don't want it. I find myself thanking her and even enthusing about the teapot I'll never use when she produces it from her bag with great flourish

I think we need a photo of the shoe shaped cake slice!

*misses point

Agree Nood, the cake slice sounds interesting!

Perhaps tell her you like it so much that you are now collecting them, but really don't have room for the other stuff, & let her put her energies into trawling for just those - I've never seen one in a charity shop - how many can there be?

It's so difficult isn't it? My DM is like this and I don't want to be ungrateful because I know she adores the DC, and I love that she wants to buy them gifts but we are given so many toys from charity or pound shops.

For example a recent conversation went like this:

DM: I've seen a game in a charity shop, would DC like it?
Me: Oh we have that already, don't worry
DM: But this is a Disney version!

Sigh.

Can't you do a car boot sale, will also help get rid of your clutter that isn't from her, and make a few quid.

Marie Kondo says...
The second fix, Kondo says, is to donate the item or give it to someone who would love it. But make sure to bid it adieu mindfully. “Regardless of the method you choose, the very act of receiving a gift is what sparks joy, so you should express gratitude even if you decide to let the item go,” she adds.
Link from a blog

whip I'm not sure that blog has been written with our situation in mind.
We're talking 40+ gifts a year for the past 3 years, it's really out of hand.

Oh my mil buys us (her precious son) shopping every week. Tins of soup, crisps, cereal... she rings and asks before she's coming 'would you like any shopping?' 'No we're fine thanks' she still arrives with food. It's always stuff my husband likes, rarely what I like. For her I think it's her way of her still doing things for her son and feeling needed (She has had therapy for empty nest syndrome). I do wonder when it will stop though, we are married, in our late 20s and have lived together for 6 years.
I would probably send her 'gifts' to the charity shop. Stuff feeling guilty, it's your home and if you don't like clutter you shouldn't have to store it.

Just tell her. I can't see how it's so difficult really.

'Mil, it's kind of you to think of us but please, no more gifts from the charity shop, we just don't have the space.'

Then next time she brings you an egg cosy in the shape of a pig just say how sorry you are but no, you did mean no more gifts. She obviously gets tempted by all the bric a brac. Keep firm as she's not going to stop.

What does she keep for herself? The mind boggles.

egg cosy in the shape of a pig

That's what it will be next week!

Hopefully dh has some luck speaking to her.

"MIL, you are so kind and have lovely taste, but we are trying to free up some space and I am taking stuff to the charity shop myself every week, so we can't take it! Sorry!"

"Oh, isn't it lovely, I can see why you love it! Do you know what though, I don't think I'd ever use it! You must keep it, it will look lovely in your kitchen."

That's a great set of egg cups, I've already got eight though. Would you like to swap them for some of mine? I can't have too many or the cupboard doors won't close.

You are so kind thinking of us all the time and wanting to get us things. DD needs a new coat, can you look out for that instead?

The thing is, she is demonstrating that she thinks of you while she is out and about. It's impractical, but a lovely expression of her love and generosity.

My kids grandparents pick up random junk from charity shops, jumble sales etc, and give it to them for birthday/Christmas.

Cake slice shaped like a shoe 😂 I kind of love and hate the sound of that

Sorry no advice, It's very kind of course and I'd be polite about it but I would be asking for no more

Why don't you just say'OH DH would love this (China duck with pink crystal eyes) I'll get him to ring you to say thanks!

OH DH was just saying we needed another photo frame - I'll get him to call you and say thanks'

Keep making out it's for him from her - because at the moment DH isn't really involved