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To hide upstairs until he has gone!

46 replies

redfacedkillme · 08/03/2017 12:37

Sooo there's this gorgeous and I mean gorgeous bloke here doing some work on the house that involved having all the water turned off.

He showed up early this morning and I hadn't had chance to go to the toilet.. I have needed a poo since the early morning and I don't know the neighbours that well.

Anyway my house is only small he is In the front room if it's pretty silent and I was in the kitchen I decided to use the time I'm stuck at home to sort through bits and bobs and do some chores I wouldn't usually have much time for.. I bent over and I farted really loudly. I tried to disguise it my pretending that my sponge had squeaked against something while I was cleaning (I did fill the sink with hot soapy water before the water was switched off) the disguise I am sure didn't work and now I'm hid in the bedroom dying of embarrassment!

Fuck my life!

OP posts:
Somanyshoes · 08/03/2017 13:24

That's hilarious redfaced

Go in to the room swigging a can of fizzy pop, do a really loud burp and say "Better out than in!" I'd love to be a fly on the wall. Grin

ICanCountToOneHundred · 08/03/2017 13:25

Sorry op but that did make me laugh. I think I would be hiding too Grin

Miserylovescompany2 · 08/03/2017 13:26

I've just almost choked on an olive! Thanks, OP...

Let's face it, could of been a lot worse than a fart.

fruitbrewhaha · 08/03/2017 13:38

is there not a full tank of water in the loo? Enough for one flush? Otherwise, do you have a cold water tank or hot water tank, enough to fill a bucket with which to flush away your poo.
Or next door's outside tap?

fruitbrewhaha · 08/03/2017 13:40

or do a shit in the garden?

Blackbird82 · 08/03/2017 13:43

I agree, go in the garden! Or could you do it in a large tupperware box or a bucket?

Justwantcookies · 08/03/2017 13:56

or do a shit in the garden? Grin Grin Grin
because that will make him want her even more!

Justwantcookies · 08/03/2017 13:58

could you do it in a nappy sack? or in a nappy (not whilst wearing it obviously) and put that in a nappy sack - blame the baby for the smell!

winekeepsmesane · 08/03/2017 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redfacedkillme · 08/03/2017 15:13

He's still here.

OP posts:
Fontella · 08/03/2017 15:17

Just roared with laughter reading this and the daughter came running to see what was going on. She's laughing too now!

Brilliant OP, made my day.

shitonit · 08/03/2017 15:29

This thread 😂 but please don't poo in the garden

DevelopingDetritus · 08/03/2017 15:30

One of the funniest threads. Oh it's horrible when this happens, I don't even like going for a wee when workmen are in. God you've been holding it for around 8 hours now Star

ppeatfruit · 08/03/2017 15:46

So have you…. you know ? Grin

Smiler2013 · 08/03/2017 16:40

Haha, that made me giggle 😂

redfacedkillme · 08/03/2017 17:19

Panic over!

OP posts:
DevelopingDetritus · 08/03/2017 17:26

Ow, I bet that's a relief!

DevelopingDetritus · 08/03/2017 17:28

Will he have to come again tomorrow? Did he speak to you alright when he left?

MollyRedskirts · 08/03/2017 17:29

Oh dear. Glad you've pooed though.

I farted on a small child's head in a shop today. Not my child, either. They snuck right up close to me in the queue and I didn't notice. Whoops. Blush

AlmostAJillSandwich · 08/03/2017 17:36

Molly i nearly died laughing at that :P

winekeepsmesane · 08/03/2017 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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