WIBU to use a baby sleep consultant?

[MumsyH]

13 month dd's sleep has gone from bad to worse. Nowhere near self settling, slept through once a month ago and ever since has been waking screaming in the middle of the night for up to 3 hours.
I'm at the end of my tether. Husband does nights and I work so often on my own then have to face the day on no sleep..
I've tried sleep training to an extent but cant cope with cio and she will not even slightly entertain anything else as just goes mental.

I feel like getting a consultants help would mean I've failed really. Everyone else seems to manage fine and I guess we must have done something wrong somewhere..

Has anyone gone down this route and was it a)worth the expense and b) was it at all successful? (same question I guess really)

We have used a sleep consultant for our 3rd DC. The others were nowhere near as rubbish at sleeping. It has vastly improved her sleep. We were on our knees. I have had a couple of slightly arsey comments from friends but honestly I could not give a hoot. We didn't leave her for more than 3 minutes and that was only twice. It all felt very gentle and she needed sleep as much as we did.

I have started using one as of yesterday and just having a goal to work towards is a huge relief (even though obviously it's had no effect yet!) Yes other people manage without, but they are not you and not living your life. If you have reached the end of your rope then of course YANBU.

I think ill just go for it! Feel ready to try anything to be honest.
Nicola Watson looks pretty good. Which package would you recommend?

You are not a failure at all. Sleep management is bloody hard work and I think HVs should be trained in all the different methods so they can offer better advice than just "CIO".

What I would say is, a)as PPs have mentioned, you need to look at your baby's whole day. Day time naps have a massive effect on NT sleep. An overtired baby will sleep really badly at night, for example. B) sleep training does not automatically mean CIO - there are so many different methods.

Personally I loved the Baby Whisperer. Her methods are, as she says, "middle of the road" - not too tough, not too soft and I genuinely believe her pick up/put down method not only taught my DD to self settle but taught her to feel confident that mummy was always there to help and comfort her but independent enough to settle herself, if that makes sense. And I really saw that effect ripple throughout her behaviour in the early years. I know some parents swear by it but I think some forms of CIO can cause clinginess and fear of abandonment. Most sleep training inevitably involves tears but there's a big difference between staying throughout the crying and walking away. I did try CIO as recommended by my HV and it was horrific. Cried herself hysterically to sleep and for a long time after, she screamed whenever I left her at any time of day.

My issue with DD was that weirdly she slept well once asleep but getting her settled was a bloody nightmare of hrs of rocking for every nap and bedtime. 3 days of PUPD and she was self settling. It was a bloody life-changing miracle.

Anyway, your sanity and sleep are so important so do what works for you and good luck.

Mumsy drop her an email and she'll get in touch and talk you through the packages to see which is best suited to your baby

mumsy - I found the basic package quite sufficient but that's because me and DH had hit the point where things HAD to change and our resolve was strong. We knew we'd stick to her plans with absolute conviction so we didn't feel like we needed regular support and guidance. She discussed various methods of sleep training, ones which have very quick effect (controlled crying) and the more gentler ones that can take weeks and I imagine that people taking the slower approach would need more than just the basic package as they'd probably need regular follow-ups and evaluations etc.

Because we started to see improvements within a few days (and complete success within a week) the basic package was fine for us. From what I recall though she did send me an email about 10 days after our initial phone call just to check that everything had gone to plan and I imagine if I'd said we were still struggling she'd have offered us more support but it wasn't needed as DS was fixed by that point.

People who criticise those who use sleep consultants seem to think parents are only doing it for themselves (I.e we are shattered) but they seem to forget that sleep is so, so important for a child's development and sleep training is beneficial for the child too. By the end of the week of training my DS was getting about 4 hours more sleep every 24 hour period than he'd previously been having which is really significant. He was such a happier baby for it and me and DH became much happier people too.

People shouldn't judge, period. There is nothing wrong with parents needing sleep. It's not like your baby sleeps 6 hours through the night and you want 10. Ignore any judgement.

Hire a sleep trainer! My 5m old was sleeping in less than 48 hours, all on her own. No dummy, no feeding to sleep just in her bed all on her own.
I highly recommend Great Expectations Maternity, it's all in home support and they have a 100% success rate. They are based near Bury St Edmunds but travel.

Can i ask who you used?