Xbox query - not really an AIBU but posting for traffic

[fairweathercyclist]

The query about the xbox in the shared bedroom made me think about this and I wonder if my ds is having me on.

He is 14 and we bought him an xbox for Christmas, we held out for a long time but finally gave way, having agreed a set of basic rules. He generally adheres to these.

HOWEVER - we have conflicts arising out of the playing of FIFA 2017. He says that he can't just switch off during a match because he will "lose his progress" and this allegedly means that he won't just lose that match, but several matches previous. So I have to give him about 10 minutes' notice if I want him to stop playing (eg if I want to watch something). This is hugely irritating if I only realise that something I want to watch is on in 3 minutes' time. If I simply tell him to switch off he gets mega-stroppy - because of the "progress" issue. Is he fibbing? Is there a way around this? I am quite happy to say "switch off or else" but if he is telling me the truth it does seem utterly ridiculous of the games manufacturer to have done this.

We used to have arguments over his Nintendo DS because you allegedly could not pause a game!

No he's not fibbing, you can't save your progress in the middle of a match. I'm sure he could change the settings so that the game automatically saves in between matches though.

No, he is telling the truth. I've had exactly the same issue with my own son, so I now give him a 15 minute warning not to start any new games if we are going out, after 15 minutes if he has ignored me it is switched off regardless and he is completely happy with that rule. Each game is about 8 minutes long but factor in stoppage time and substitutes, and it's about 10-12 minutes.

Separate telly.

The can't pause a game thing irritates me as well but I get games where you can save so i'm not understanding when the husbands playing his stuff which you can't. I don't know anything about fifa though.

Also would you consider buying him a TV of his own? DS has his own telly in his room and it saves arguments.

What I would suggest is checking the TV guide in advance so you know what you want to watch and when. Then tell him he needs to come off at X time in advance so he has plenty of warning and will know not to start a new match if it means he will be going over the set time. If he does start a new match and overlap despite the warnings then I would switch it off at the set time regardless.

My response would be 'so what?'

Indeed it has been, many times. Sometimes with the use of the off button if necessary. Gaming adheres to the rules in my house, and if I say it goes off it goes off. Progress can be made up at a later date if it's that important.

queen that's a little harsh - you are basically saying that your wishes always trump someone else's, just because it's something you don't see as important. So like if you were watching a film, and it was nearly the end, but someone else came in and said they wanted it turned off immediately because they said so. It fosters selfish behaviour.

What I would suggest is checking the TV guide in advance so you know what you want to watch and when

I usually do know what's on and when but eg this weekend I saw at the last minute that Laura Muir was running in the final of the 1500m and wanted to watch her. This was why we had a bit of a disagreement. In the end I watched it on my husband's tablet as you can watch with a bit of a delay.

And yes - flippin stoppage time! You can guarantee that when I am waiting for him to finish there will be about 5 mins (obviously condensed, but still adds to the time).

you need another telly.

If he's playing online, he's certainly not lying.

We have the Xbox in the living room, partly because all rooms are shared here and partly because I want it out in the open.

I don't think it's fair to just switch off in the middle of something like Queen says - if you're going to be an arse about it then don't allow an Xbox on the family tv.

Not sure what the answer is other than his own tv elsewhere or making sure there's another one available for you should the situation arise. Much easier though when it's a planned programme!

If you have Sky then you can start a recording from the app. For a short programme like a race, I'd watch TV through my phone or laptop.

I agree Queen's approach is harsh and unfair. It's much better to come up with some sort of routine or compromise, rather than turning it off when ever you feel like it just because you don't think it's important. That sort of attitude just fosters selfishness and disregard for others imo.

I'm with Queen. My home is not a democracy, it is a (mostly) benign dictatorship.

It is true if playing online so a warning as PP said would be the best thing. For this reason I hate having FIFA games in the house, though it's my DH who plays them so different situation and he's not hogging the main TV.

I did get sneaky though - he was playing upstairs and I was downstairs waiting to go out. We weren't late but I was ready and wanted to leave - he was sticking rigidly to our 'leaving time' as he was playing online. I just unplugged the router downstairs so it crashed his online game then plugged it back in and waited for him to come down - which he did straight away. He just thought it was an unlucky lost connection and has no idea it was me - keeping that tactic in my back pocket in case I ever need it again

That's not sneaky, that's just mean Why would you do that?

MerricatsHouse by your own admission you weren't even late, so why be a twat?

Merricats - Are you always that controlling?

Firstly, MerricatsHouse that's a dick move and not something to be proud of - you just wanted your own way because you happened to be ready early so you decided to override the pre-agreed schedule, that he had based his timings on, to get that.

Next, OP - your son is not a mind reader, it's unfair (even if it was possible to pause mid game) to come in and just say "Pause it, regardless of how it affects you, I want to watch my thing. Now." It shows you have no respect for his time or what he's doing. And yes, whilst you are the parent and he is the child and so you have more authority it doesn't mean that they don't deserve the same basic courtesy you'd show other people.

It's like when you have a boss that comes to your desk and says "Meeting in the conference room, now" vs "Meeting in the conference room in 5 minutes" when they have evidently known about this meeting before they came to tell you and they know you're in the middle of something that can't be just dropped without a few minutes to note where you are, get to a convenient stopping point etc.

If I just tell my DD to stop doing something she's enjoying then I will usually get arguments or "just 5 more minutes, please!" because she doesn't want to just stop without warning as she's having fun. If I give her at least a five minute warning (if not more) then there's less fuss because she can prepare herself to be finishing her game/activity instead of just being pulled out

I could have written this myself!!

I have a 15 year old DS.

No, apparently you can't log out mid game and it drives me insane

I'm with Queen too. If I want a screen to be switched off, it will be. Any arguments or whining will result in confiscation.

Oh dear I was being lighthearted! If he had mentioned it when he came down I'd have instantly copped to it and DH would've laughed - does nobody here play the odd marriage prank? I'm not seriously planning on doing it as a thing of course, we are both gamers and it's a major hobby of DH's so he gets his hours in (and so do I). Crikey I wasn't ready for AIBU was I?

Ah it made me smile merricat. Not a wise thing if they're in the middle of a live game though

Crikey I wasn't ready for AIBU was I?

No one is.

I really dont get the problem of giving children 15 or 20 minutes notice. For pretty much anything. They arent serfs.
You'd expect it from your DH if he wanted to watch the football.