7 months later

[nc123456789]

Have posted this in childbirth but copied here for traffic...

Looking for a bit of advice as to what is normal, has this happened to anyone?

I had a 24 hour back to back labour, they tried to turn ds by putting me on a drip to make my contractions stronger, getting me to push him down past the spines, trying to turn him with their hands causing first degree tear, I was then taken down to theatre where they gave me an episiotomy then rotated him with forceps then they pulled while I pushed basically. My womb wouldn't contract after he was born so I was put on another drip to get it to shrink back down. I've since found out that they should have offered me a c-section, can only assume my hospital was trying to get their c-section rates down.
I had quite heavy lochia for 6 weeks afterwards, my episiotomy site was sore for up to 12 weeks. I said to my gp at my 6 week check that I was still sore, she had a look and said that everything looked normal.
I still don't feel normal 7 months later, the front wall of my vagina is lower, almost lying against the opening, my clitoris feels numb. Sex is uncomfortable and I can no longer orgasm (even by myself). Also it looks like my labia have basically disappeared.
Surely this isn't normal? Is it worth going back to my gp? I felt like she just wasn't interested at my 6 week check.

I hope it goes ok with the GP. My DS is 14months now and things are better than when he was 7 months, but not by a lot.

I wish someone would have told me it'd be this shit. I hate my postpartum body. I would never have had children!

pitchfork I'm sorry you feel so bad

I had a 36 hour back to back labour with DS (7) 3.5hrs pushing culminating with a forceps delivery in theatre and manual removal of placenta. I tore internally up to my cervix which took around an hour to stitch afterwards.

I was diagnosed with an anterior and posterior prolapse 6 weeks after delivery. I chose not to have it repaired until our family was complete as I was advised a further pregnancy (even with a c section delivery) would be highly likely to undo the repair. I had my prolapse repair in 2013 when DD was 1 (easy 7 hour albeit back to back labour), and it's been absolutely fine since. It is major surgery, I was signed off work for 7 weeks but I didn't really have much choice, it was unbearable.

Definitely push for a gynae referral, I will say if you are still bf and if you do have a prolapse, bf does relax the muscles and will makes things a bit worse. I found things tightened up a little once I'd stopped bf.

edwin not still bf ds face was damaged by the forceps and couldn't feed, it took 8 weeks for the swelling to go down, I expressed milk for him but by the time his face was better he was too used to a bottle to bother with the breast so I expressed until he was about 3 months then stopped. My periods have returned so I think my hormones etc must be back to normal.

Don't feel bad about the bf - DS also came out with a huge forceps shaped bruise over his eye where they had placed them over his eye . We struggled with bf as well, he had no interest whatsoever. The independent midwife I used for my second pregnancy said forceps babies often have headaches post delivery which makes it hard for them.

I'm going to second Crumbs suggestion for a birth debrief. I had one nearly a year after DS was born, and I think it helped. She clarified a few things - for instance, I felt like no-one had warned me of the risk of vaginal damage from the forceps, but in fact the form I signed did mention this (was able to actually see the form I'd signed again). There were a couple of other things I'd thought they'd mismanaged at the time but she was able to talk me through the decision processes etc. Also, I told her I would want a c-section next time and while she initially said they would be unlikely to allow this, once we'd gone all through my notes and she realised how traumatic it all was, she agreed that I should be offered an ELCS and explained how I'd go about persuading the consultant.

DS also wouldn't breastfeed so I expressed for ages. He still has a tiny scar on his forehead where the forceps cut him.

crumbs you say:
"you make it sound like hospital trying to reduce c-section rate is a bad thing when every hospital is trying to do same as it is better for mothers not to have avoidable sections." Why? Just because it is avoidable it does not make the instrumental delivery done in its place 'better'. It is an utter falsehood based on nothing more than basic statistics. Have a look at the statistics for likelihood of permanent damage due to rotational forceps delivery versus permanent damage due to c-section. Look at the risks to the baby for each of the procedures (as I was being lectured during one of the consultations for my hard fought for c-section I was too that all the serious risk is to me and not the baby for section - there are risks re: baby's breaching but minimal at 39 weeks.)

"The maternity unit dashboard (that monitors key measures of good obstetric performance) includes the section rate with a lower level being seen as better care." But why and how is it better? How can the damage we are discussing here be better than a csection? Because you/they say it is?!!
"Assisted deliveries can be emotionally and physically traumatic." Yes they fucking are. And no-one properly warns you because the bogeyman is the c-section. We're all working to avoid that which is painted as the worst thing ever and it's a con. A fucking con.

I had a wonderful c-section second time round. My baby was not permanently facially scarred like DD1 from the forceps. I breastfed easily, unlike DD1 who ended up being readmitted with a gastro-nasal feeding tube because he was so done in she couldn't feed. My recovery was a breeze. "major surgery" with an abdominal healing wound is an absolute piece of piss compared with an episiotomy that breaks down and gapes for over 2 months. My faecal continence issues caused by the forceps got no worse after the csection.

And that pointless form they put in front of you when you are exhausted and traumatised and in hellish pain and call that informed consent? What a joke. And we all bloody sign it like fools because we are lectured for hours about all of the things we should do to avoid a c-section and NO-ONE tells you how rotational forceps can fuck up your body for life.

Unless you've been through it you wouldn't appreciate how bloody hollow a 'birth reflections' bullshit placation meeting really is.

OP you have my utmost sympathies, as do other ladies on this thread.

There should be far more honesty about the trauma of rotational forceps and the damage they cause. We need more more education about what happens during a forceps delivery. This needs to be honestly set against information on c-section. The NHS site used to say a Dr 'pulled gently'...I think that has since been updated but my consultant had his foot against the table and and assistant holding me so he didn't drag me off with the force.