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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Want To Cancel Our Holiday

44 replies

Berrie · 03/03/2007 17:01

I posted on this last weekend so apologies for repeating myself! DS has chicken pox and DD's first possible time of developing spots and becoming infectious coincides with a much looked forward to and only just affordable break at Center Parcs.
She may not develop it until we get back, she may not get it at all but the fact is that she will be infectious before we know she's got it and could infect newborns and pregnant women for whom it would be dangerous.
We don't have insurance and we could just take it in turns to sit with her, isolated in the chalet but I don't really want to do this and I'd rather dh saved his days off when we can all be together.
Understandably DH, who's Mum died 3 weeks ago, very much wants to go and risk it saying we will look for signs of illness meaning she's about to get it.
I think it's quite wrong to knowingly put other people's babies at risk - not that I know how big the risks are.
What do you think?

OP posts:
hana · 03/03/2007 17:02

sounds like you don't really want to go under the circumstances, will you lose any money?

Original poster
Berrie · 03/03/2007 17:03

yes...

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/03/2007 17:03

Doesn't centreparcs have a lot of activities that will not involve other people's families? Chances are that DD will not feel ill so she can get out and ride bikes and have fun etc with the rest of you. And she might not develop it.

My DD (8) has it too at the moment, she is smothered, bless her

Original poster
Berrie · 03/03/2007 17:04

dd is only 18m so not really

OP posts:
JodieG1 · 03/03/2007 17:07

I think you should cancel, what if someone's baby is damaged because of it? That's a really unfair thing to take a chance with imo.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/03/2007 17:08

Oh

How long is the break? Any chance you could leave her with Nanny or a sis/sis in law?

twinklingstar · 03/03/2007 17:12

berrie - as you say, chickenpox is infectious from 3 days before the spots appear. Therefore, it is likely that we are potentially walking around in contact with infectious people at any old time and any old where.

Not an easy one to advise on - I would avoid being in contact with pregnant women etc, but unless you totally isolated yourselves 'in case', it is impossible to predict for every eventuality.

Hope the dilemma resolves itself with your dd getting it right now and letting you proceed on holiday with the after-care stage rather than the will-she-won't-she bit.

If push comes to shove, could you just pack plenty of activities that she can do in the chalet, including some new things like puzzles or games, and take turns in being out with your ds? Not the same I know, but at least that way you would have a break and not lose your money......

Original poster
Berrie · 03/03/2007 17:12

Not really if she is ill I would feel so guilty taking her out and about that it would be no fun anyway...
I don't know why I'm asking really as I won't be able to do it. I exect I'm hoping you will all tell me what fun I will have shut in the chalet with her...actually, she will be spreading her germs round that too!

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/03/2007 17:15

DD's school told me ysesterday that the school's policy is to allow them back to school, spots and all, once they are ALL scabbed over and no new ones are coming. They aren't infectious by ths stage

paros · 03/03/2007 17:17

There is loads todo there without mixing with other people .Bike rising going on the boats ,walking and generally being a family together .

Surfermum · 03/03/2007 17:20

Can't you postpone? They might charge you a fee to change the date but it would be less than you would lose if you didn't go.

newlifenewname · 03/03/2007 17:21

Can't see that it is such a terrible thing. I mean, I don't suppose you'll be keeping her under lock and key for weeks 'on the off chance' will you?

You could meet a pregnant lady at Sainsbury's!

Also, don't most people - if not all - get tested for immunity to the virus? Not sure what benefit this mind.

twinklingstar · 03/03/2007 17:27

newlifenewname - when I googled it, it seems that there is a vaccine now. Hadn't heard of that before.

Best to have the childhood diseases over and done with in childhood - when my bil caught chickenpox when their dcs had it, he was really ill.

Recognise that it is a real dilemma for you Berrie but they still have to go to school etc, even when a sibling has chickenpox. Also same goes for your dh - doubt that work would tell him to stay at home with the dcs if they had chickenpox and he had never had it................

Original poster
Berrie · 03/03/2007 17:28

I see what you mean...we happily went everywhere with ds before we knew he'd got it but we do know now and yes, I think I would keep her slightly out of circulation but certainly away from places where there was a high concentration of families.
Think that you can only postpone up to 4 weeks before and it's next week but thanks will check again.
Thanks for encouragement about other activities...if I get anymore paranoid I'll be wiping down boat seats with dettox after we get out!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Berrie · 03/03/2007 17:29

Hadn't thought of it like that Twinklingstar, maybe I am going slightly over the top...

OP posts:
Aimsmum · 03/03/2007 17:35

Message withdrawn

Judy1234 · 03/03/2007 18:00

Go. Probably already infected loads of people anyway. You can breathe in one aisle of a supermarket and cp infects someone right over the next aisle. You can do things that aren't too much near others. Lots of walking and cycling. and DD may not get it anyway. Also as your husband wants to go and his mother just died I think you should just do what he wants in this case.

Judy1234 · 03/03/2007 18:00

You could try ringing CP too though as they might as a concession allow you to rebook without penalty and just change your dates.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/03/2007 18:04

Yes I thought Jodie's post was a little OTT TBH.

Pimmpom · 03/03/2007 18:12

Your DD may not get it. I caught CP at the age of 30 (probably from the pool at center parcs of all places ) but dd 2, didn't catch it from me, despite being with me 24hrs a day.

happybiggirl · 03/03/2007 18:17

Message withdrawn

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/03/2007 18:19

I am cringing at the thought of DS2 getting it. As I said DD (8) currentl has it and poor little DS2 (6) who has cerebral palsy and other things is currently very poorly with a viral fluey thing (him and me both although I think I am starting to shake it at last thank God). I am fully expecting DS to finally start getting over this illness only to then go down with chicken pox . He is high maintenance at the best of times! No idea how I would stop him scratching..

wheresthehamster · 03/03/2007 18:30

The chances of your dd catching chicken pox, passing it to a woman in the early or late stages of pregnancy who hasn't got immunity are very remote.
Then it's not always the case that there will be any side effects for her or the baby even if she does catch it.
I speak from personal experience - I was 5 weeks pregnant with dd1 when I caught chicken pox and 15 years later we are both here to tell the tale.
If you are worried - don't go in the pool and avoid really heavily pregnant women.
Hire a bike with a buggy attached and have long cycle rides and enjoy the outdoors.

Original poster
Berrie · 03/03/2007 18:37

Keeping my fingers crossed for you Shiney. Thankyou for all your positive comments DH really needs a break, it's been a horrible time. I really ought to go and make the best of it just for him.

OP posts:
misdee · 03/03/2007 18:42

phone centre parks and tell them, they may allow you to move the dates for a small fee as CP is very contagious.