Child Maintenance Payments

[Mumsruleboysdrool]

AIBU to not demand CM from my daughters dad? he isn't in a great financial situation at the moment. He works full time but is on a reduced wage as his employer pays for his college course (he's in his 30's so quite lucky to have the opportunity) he owns a property but rents it out to cover the mortgage and has moved back to his mums to reduce his outgoings. he downgraded his car to get a cheap runaround and generally struggles each week to cover his bills. I work part time and my partner has his own business. we are by no means 'loaded' but are very comfortable. Have a lovely home, 2 cars and can afford to take the kids for days out and treats etc without it affecting our bills. understandably my partner is frustrated with the situation, especially because we pay nearly £300 a month in maintenance payments to his ex wife for his 2 kids. Mine and my exes daughter is 3 so gets 15 hours a week free childcare, the extra hours she does come to a total cost of £60 per month, myself and my ex pay half each to cover this. Taking in to account my ex partners wage, if I was to enforce payments through CSA he would be expected to pay around £100 a month, I just don't feel it would be morally right to ask for his money when I don't particularly 'need' it and my ex would really see a difference (that would be his monthly food spend for example) He is a great dad, has our daughter 3 nights a week, she loves spending time with him and he does what he can, the occasional cinema trip or free/cheap things like the park or play centres. Am I wrong to think he is doing enough and that's ok for now? He has every intention of paying more once he is qualified and has a better income (around 18 months from now)

I think that if you get the child benefit and he is paying £30 a month, then it probably is reasonable. I would leave it as it is as if you are comfortable financially, it's probably not worth falling out over a relatively small sum. I would reassess once your ex is earning more though.

I was going to say yabu but I think that 3/7ths of the child benefit is morally his and should be considered child maintenance. If 3/7 ths of the child benefit plus his childcare contribution comes to £100 then he is paying CMS amount.(which is the minimum that he should be paying not a target amount)

CM percentages are already considering that the parent with care will be getting CB and TC/IS if in a disadvantaged position.

If care is nearly 50/50 though I don't see how it can be.

I know that you can't split child benefit but 3 days/4 days is virtually 50/50 and I think that it's something that should probably change in future.

So you're asking because your partner wants you to get maintenance to offset the amount he is paying for his own children?
That isn't how it works.

Not to offset it no, he just gets annoyed about it because he is paying for his kids and thinks my ex should do the same. I understand that completely. but then, given our situations, I really don't feel it's necessary to ask for money that my ex can't afford and we don't particularly need.

I think your partner is being silly here and thinking of himself rather than any of the three children involved.

YABU. The maintenance isn't for you, it's for your kids. They deserve to be supported by both parents i.e. the people who caused them to be in the world. They deserve this even if he barely afford it. He must pay something or he is taking no responsibility.

They deserve to be supported by both parents i.e. the people who caused them to be in the world. They deserve this even if he barely afford it. He must pay something or he is taking no responsibility.

That's a weird point of view - does a SAHP make no contribution because they're not financially contributing? The children aren't going without anything and he has them almost 50% of the time and pays 50% of childcare. OP gets all tax credits/CB money. Him being able to train and further his career is probably a good thing for the kids long term as he'll be able to contribute more when they're at uni/wanting to buy a house or whatever.

They deserve to be supported by both parents i.e. the people who caused them to be in the world. They deserve this even if he barely afford it. He must pay something or he is taking no responsibility.

He is paying sonething.
He pays half the chlld care costs per month.
He pays for the 3 days they are with him.
Also once he qualifies as the OP has said he will ensure the DC venefit from his increased income.

He must pay something or he is taking no responsibility.

What apart from the virtual 50/50 he has them and the half of childcare fees he pays.

Your partner is being ridiculously twatty over this. You do what you feel is right. Personally I would not be chasing for maintenance with the situation as you say it is. And I would be telling my current partner to stop being such a (fucking) child.

Lets see - what your partner pays his ex is "none of your business" but what your ex pays is his..... it is up to you what is reasonable and on balance I owuld say its OK at the moment although technically he probably should be paying something the fact is he and his family help out with childcare, he is flexible and you get on well, he has a good relationship with the child etc.

If you wanted perhaps he could set up a savings scheme for the child with £10 a month in as an interim thing which may help pacify your new partner but I do feel he is being unreasonable in this