To be annoyed at parents at swimming lessons

[daffodil10]

Returned to swim lessons after half term and have a new batch of over protective parents. A couple of them are hovering on the edge of the pool on the verge of jumping in, while the teachers try to teach. If you can't sit in the seating area and let the teachers get on with it go and have a coffee. The children are safe, the teachers are in the pool and there's life guards - they are not going to drown rant over !

Blimey wish I hadn't started this !!!! So I also view lessons as a time to sit down, Relax, let the teacher teach BUT I'm in the seating area in case there is a problem. I've got no problem with those that watch from the gallery either. The parents I'm talking about are those actually sitting on the edge of the pool, leaning in, interrupting the teacher and cheering every time their little precious does something. This disrupts the whole class and stops the teacher teaching. Let the professional get on with it.

YANBU

Only those swimming or staff were allowed poolside when mine were learning. Everyone else had to stay in the viewing gallery next to the pool which was close enough to reassure some of the nervous ones.

The instructors did have to speak to a few parents who would distract their kids during the lessons as they were having to constantly regain that child's attention rather than concentrate on teaching the whole group.

Cross posted but very similar experiences.

My dd has reflex Anoxic seizures. That means her heart stops beating and she stops breathing. I have discussed what would happen with the swim teacher if she had one in the water.

1. She'd kind of float but a bit further down in the water as you see in the films. No one would be any the wiser.
2. About a minute of not breathing, her heart would restart and then she'd try to breathe.
3. At that point, she'd breathe in water as she'd be on her front. So she'd breathe in water.
4. She wouldn't be able to move or do anything about this as she'd not have use of her body.
5. She'd cough out the water and re inhale water.
6. She'd get fished out of the water, probably be fine and not need medical attention but she'd be at very high risk of dry drowning.
7. At now age 8, it would freak her out so much, she'd probably never swim again as a result.

Darn right I watch her like a hawk.

This is how dangerous swimming lessons can be for some children. I can imagine the parents could be a bit annoying around and about but you don't know if they're just being overprotective or if their child has a medical condition. My dd has lessons with the teacher in the pool and a small group as I regard it as far too dangerous any other way.

Just seen the leaning and cheering and interrupting bit. That's unacceptable.

I agree they can be dangerous but there are two teachers in the pool with the small group of children and two life guards

The OP has added the bit about cheering and interrupting as she's realised that most people don't see worrying about your kid and staying near the edge of the pool as something reasonable to get annoyed about.

Better up the ante to get people to agree with you.

How old are these kids? It sounds like some of the parents would be better off still at Waterbabies where you can go in with them. I think Waterbabies goes up to 5yo now?

My DS is 6 and swims several hours a week with a club. No way would I not watch. I am needed pretty regularly; just in the last few weeks he has had a kit fail that I had to go and fix and he injured his hand in a tussle with a lane rope. It would be a total PITA for the coaches if parents of the young swimmers weren't there at all. I don't think swimming is really a drop and run sport.

Earlier upthread a poster used the acronym IYSWIM. I found that slightly amusing in a thread about swimming. (misses point of thread)

I remember taking DD - it was a small pool and we sat at the side (barefoot or overshoes).

DD got told off bollocked for not paying attention.

After the lesson she moaned to us in the car. We sided with the teacher's view.

Her comment was priceless "You're my parents, you are supposed to back me up"

Nowadays she is a better swimmer than me - I always was a bit crap, can't dive off the side etc.

distinctly not alpha male

My DD nearly drowned when she was 4 because the teacher wasn't paying attention when She was swimming a width in the deep end. The only reason anyone noticed was because I happened to come out from changing my other child to see her basically fucking drowning. So don't tell me I shouldn't watch my kids when they swim

mummypflittledragon

Quite agree. I've been accused of over parenting, hovering etc. "Take the opportunity to sit with the others and have a coffee". 😡😡😡

If only. If bloody only. I see these parents and envy them every sip.

We tried swimming lessons for our daughter. Life guard, swimming tutors, 8 children. She took spasms in her legs and started splashing about. Tutor shouted at her to stop mucking about. (At this point my my arse was quickly going poolside - she doesn't "muck about".) She called over to me in a panic as she splashed again and went under water. She came up, I reached in and hauled her out. Lifeguard - waaay at the other end of the pool.

Her legs were stiff as a board, I told the tutor she was having leg spasms, not mucking about. She grumbled, "well she should have raised her hand and told me that". We never went back. It had all been explained to them, they told me it was absolutely fine, there were two instructors and one would always be keeping an eye on my girl.

So yes, I hover, I over parent.

Some parents have good reason, some just want to. If they aren't hurting your life, what difference does it make to you?

Blimey. Isn't the swimming lesson a perfect time to have half an hour to yourself with a good book?!
You're not allowed poolside at ours - you sit in the viewing area. Which is the way it should be. Being poolside sounds hideously distracting for kids and instructors alike!

In my experience, the children whose parents hovered nervously at the side of the pool were much more anxious and as a result were much more likely to fuss and cry.

Or the parent hovered "nervously" (interesting you can tell their inner feeling) because their child is prone to anxiety.

We tried "drop and run" for four years of nursery with our girl. Whether we hovered or went, she fussed and cried. Even before her disability became an issue for her and we were very "hands off" parents. Some children are anxious and it isn't because their parents hover.

Yabu. It only takes a second for a disaster to happen. I couldn't live if I lost my children, they are the most precious things in my world and for you to say parents shouldn't take every care disgusts me. And I'm not usually harsh on here. You do what you want, allow others the same courtesy, especially when what they are doing is RIGHT.

Funnyface1 seriously? You think its reasonable for parents to lurk by the side of the pool of a lesson disrupting and distracting the class?

When mine were this age this wasn't even up for discussion. Parents/carers sat on the benches/balcony nearby and were not allowed by the side of the pool, not least because they were a hazard to safety for the children in the class.

Children too young or anxious to be left went to the parent and child swim lessons (parents in the pool) until old enough and ready enough for classes. Children with specific disabilities requiring extra help also used sessions with parents/carers in the pool.

Why don't you have a word about your concerns with the organiser/leader of the lessons? Then if it's a problem they can mention it to the relevant parents. And you'll know that any parents who are still there must have been given the OK by the staff.

The teacher needs to be firmer with the parents. When dd started swimming lessons she was scared and i asked the teacher if i could get in with her initially and she paused and said "No." I then asked if dd could use arm bands She paused and said "No." No further discussion. I kind of got the message after that and calmed down.

My son goes swimming once a week and there is a parent who EVERY week collars the teacher because she's so important and her darling offspring are even more important. I find her really annoying. The rest of us sit and watch/read/look at Twitter and wait until the teacher speaks to us if they have something they want to tell us.

And the parents who stand in the way of everyone trying to exit the pool area holding towels out for their little ones. For goodness sake, take them into the changing room and dry them off there. The swimming hall is warm and they will not get cold immediately.

At our pool there is no gallery as such, just poolside seats, but it's much better when there is a gallery. When I learn to swim the viewing gallery was raised and behind glass so no option for overanxious/self-important parents to get in everyone's way poolside.

I think with the best will in the world a swimming instructor can't monitor all the children every minute during a lesson.
They sometimes have to focus on one or another child and not the others.

I also think people way overestimate the knowledge and training of lifeguards.

I have seen an adult pulled out of a pool already drowned and also an incident where a child held another childs head underwater.

In both cases the lifeguard did not notice until alerted by a member of the public and did not seem to know what to do. Certainly in the first case the swimmer wasn't spotted by anyone till it was too late.

pombal

But how will the teachers attention and focus on the children or the children's focus on the teacher be improved and made safer by a bunch of adults causing a distraction on the side of the pool? This is precisely why the pool my kids learned in banned poolside parents for children's swimming lessons.

Did either of those incidents you refer to occur whilst the people involved were participating in a children's swimming class?

CH the incident with the two children happened during a swimming class.

I don't think people are crazy to want to be poolside when their young DC are in the water. I agree they shouldn't interrupt the lesson, but there's no harm in having extra eyes on the water.