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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being Paranoid or AIBU???!!

21 replies

user1488540182 · 03/03/2017 11:48

Question Am I being Paranoid or AIBU!!???confused
I had a birthday party for my twin boys who just turned 5. We invited most of the class, my boys are really popular and I didn't want to leave anyone out. It was my first time organising a party for my boys on this scale. I am lucky to have a big enough home so I decided to hold it there.
I was totally swept off my feet as I had did all the food and entertainment myself with help from my best friend. I had a pinata which I stuffed full of sweets which the kids seemed to really enjoy. I thought I had did well as I put in such an effort and spent loads, but what got me was I saw a couple of the parents giving bad looks to each other at the party. I didn't approach them there as I didn't think anything of it at first. But I have noticed last week I am being "cold shouldered" by a two of the parents whom I was quite friendly with before. I really can't work out why and it's peeing me right off to be honest as I put in my all for all the children to enjoy themselves. I don't know if it's because of the sweets why they are acting like I committed the crime of the century . I don't know if I'm being paranoid, have any of you had the same experience?

OP posts:
TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 03/03/2017 12:01

We invited most of the class, my boys are really popular and I didn't want to leave anyone out

Most of....so you didn't invite all of the class and you did leave somebody out?

RhiWrites · 03/03/2017 12:12

No one's actually said anything though? You're interpreting "bad looks" as meaning you've committed the crime of the century. That is paranoid.

Maybe they thought the party was too lavish for a five year old, maybe they disapprove of sweets, maybe the kids were too wild.

Why torture yourself overthinking? You said the kids had fun.

But if you want to know what's up ask one person who you were friendly with before "hey, friend, have I annoyed you somehow?"

Original poster
user1488540182 · 03/03/2017 13:04

We invited ALL of the class. Most came.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1488540182 · 03/03/2017 13:08

yep, I think you're right I am probably over thinking! Me and my pregnancy homones.... as long as my boys and his friends has fun...

OP posts:
IamFriedSpam · 03/03/2017 14:03

The party sounds amazing! I probably wouldn't give it any brain space if you can possibly help it. All the parties I've been to have involved hideous amounts of sweets (I just try to get my DC's to eat a cucumber and make sure they have no sweets for the next week or so) it's birthday part tradition. Maybe you're just imagining it - if not and they've invented some spurious reason to be annoyed with you it's not worth wasting energy on. Continue to be breezy and friendly and don't stress.

RhodaBorrocks · 03/03/2017 14:10

They could have been exchanging looks about something else? Is there a rambunctious, hyper, possibly SEN child in the class? Was there one being a bit too loud/noisy? At one of DS' parties there was a group of mums gossiping about the 'naughty' boy in the class (who hadn't come) - I later found out he has ADHD and few friends. DS has ASD so I encouraged him to be friendly and understanding and they have a nice friendship now.

Sweets101 · 03/03/2017 14:14

I've mostly done utterly chaotic parties at home. I don't know if it's the done thing, but as far as i'm concerned it's the very essence of a kids party.
Did you have drinks for parents that stayed? Nibbles maybe?

NapQueen · 03/03/2017 14:18

Maybe they are envious that you have the space, funds, time and patience to throw a party for around 20+ kids?

Hassled · 03/03/2017 14:22

They maybe had some issue with the pinata sweets - not organic sugar or some such ridiculousness (I have a friend who wouldn't let her DCs Trick or Treat in case the sweets weren't organic). They'll get over it and you did what you could to have what sounds like a lovely party. Just ignore them.

Original poster
user1488540182 · 03/03/2017 15:06

Thanks for all the comments, feeling better already. I did provide drinks and nibbles for the parents... non organic I'm afraid!!

OP posts:
PhilODox · 03/03/2017 15:13

What were the activities? Maybe they were worried about keeping their 5yos in line when not gainfully employed, particularly in someone else's house?

Allthebestnamesareused · 03/03/2017 15:46

What NapQueen says.

Maybe they feel overshadowed by someone who clearly has their life together. Their problem not yours.

Original poster
user1488540182 · 03/03/2017 19:33

It was a two hour party. plenty of games: musical statues, musical chairs, story time, sleeping lions..

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 03/03/2017 20:20

And I bet the kids loved it - don't worry about silly mums.

Watch out for a new series coming soon on Sky - Big Little Lies. (Reece Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman) You'll love it!

bunnylove99 · 03/03/2017 20:24

Sounds like it was a great party for the kids so I wouldn't worry about it. I'm perplexed as why on earth the parents of 5 year olds would be staying around for the party too though! My goodness I thought that only happened for toddlers.

Original poster
user1488540182 · 03/03/2017 21:33

Big little Lies, sounds good definitely record it, can't seem to stay up past 10.pm nowadays.! Infact I'm falling asleep as I write this!
My friend who helped me with the party has older children and she was sure that the parents would have left their children and collect after the party, only two parents did this.

OP posts:
MiniCooperLover · 03/03/2017 21:57

I despise Pinata's. I spend so long telling my son to be kind, not to hit etc and then these things get wheeled out for kids to smash with a stick and be rewarded with sweets. We were leaving a party recently and one was brought out but it turned out it wasn't a hit one, it was a string pull one so I wouldn't have had an issue with that.

arethereanyleftatall · 03/03/2017 22:02

We don't know why they were exchanging looks.
Ask them.
It's the only possible way to find out.

Original poster
user1488540182 · 03/03/2017 22:31

okay so you despise piñatas ... its not a real donkey. ... !!! blame the Mexicans I didn't invent it!! :-D
Actually.... having spend some time thinking this over I have come to the conclusion...its no longer important to me how a couple of sour faced parents react to me. If they did have a problem, they were in my home, my friend and I, as well as prioritsing the children's needs, where periodically checking in with them to see if they were okay. If they had a problem they could have raised it with me there. I'm not asking these pair anything and going to move on from this with a smile.

, it was a lovely party as far as my boys and his friends were concerned and to see their faces when so many of their friends sang happy birthday brought a tear to my eye. so.. Thank you for your comments and helping me see through this over thinking pickle that I got myself in. x

OP posts:
Katiepoes · 03/03/2017 22:40

Bit off your topic but my day has been made by discovering it's possible to 'not have an issue' with the right sort of pinata.

dowhatnow · 03/03/2017 22:44

It's their problem if they have one. Perhaps they were jealous of your big home or fantastic organisational skills. Most would hate to do what you were clearly good at.

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