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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be disheartened at parents evening - Yr 1

83 replies

ScattySuze · 02/03/2017 23:39

Had PE yesterday and was told my daughter of 6 1/2 born in Septmeber so the oldest in the class is only just emerging YR 1 work
She is still struggling to read to the teacher yellow level books although reads this pretty well at home although concentration is lacking and scored 21/40 for the phonics practise test
Her maths is below average and she guesses rather than works it out
This has come as a bit of a shock as at the end of reception she was meeting all points and exceeding in 5!
Now I'm thinking maybe the reception teacher over estimated her capability.
The teacher even mentioned getting a tutor might be beneficial if she struggles to concentrate at home like she does in class.

OP posts:

PuddleJumper01 · 02/03/2017 23:59

I'm not saying this to make things worse, but... I work in primary schools and they all generally say really positive things at parents evenings, especially with a young (KS1) child.

So the fact they are NOT being positive would be worrying me. You might be right... last year's teacher could've been over-estimating (and if that's the case, that would be true for lots of other children as well)

I think you need to ask for another meeting to make sure her educational needs are being met. WHY is there a dip from leaving reception to entering Yr 1 - what is school's reason (ask the question and go quiet - get them to explain to you). If she is behind, are they giving her 'booster' lessons? Do they suspect an SEN? Suggesting a tutor sounds like an admission of failure - are they saying that the teacher can not educate the child??? What do they want the tutor to work on? Why is this need not being met by the school?

Lots of questions!

Original poster

ScattySuze · 03/03/2017 00:04

Thanks -
She was very positive about her behaviour and being open to talking to the teacher.
She is confident and popular and doesn't lack the ability, but the concentration - that was how it was worded
No mention of suspecting SEN just that if the phonic test isn't passed she will go into a group for extra phonic help throughout year 2.
They do run one now but they don't feel it would actually benefit her as when she applies herself she does know the answers.
The tutor suggestion came after me saying she just doesn't seem to enjoy reading books but will happily read sings that we see outside and she's passed every spelling test given to her and is able to spell words with complex diagraphs in but give her a book and it's like she's just lost it all
Maybe she thinks having a tutor and having to concentrate on a one to one level for an hour a week would enable her to apply herself better within the classroom.
I will ask gor a further meeting as quite upset as this is a shock!

OP posts:

Koalablue · 03/03/2017 00:15

This was my daughter. They were always posative about behaviour and effort but she was so behind in accademics. I used to get so upset and tried everthing to help her catch up. Nothing realy worked but when she got to high school it all seemed to click and now she is in an extention class for two subjects.
Of all the things we tried to help her read the only thing that helped was a book called "Toe by Toe". Also dropping the reading at night because it was stressing her out so much.

BlondeBecky1983 · 03/03/2017 00:25

Phonics might not be working for her, it doesn't for all children. Try getting her some flash cards and sight reading.

Bluesrunthegame · 03/03/2017 00:31

Phonics might not be working for her, it doesn't for all children.
This, yes. Phonics is good for some children but not for everyone.

Sorry if this is not much help, getting some answers to the questions other posters would be a really good place to start.

highinthesky · 03/03/2017 00:35

Whilst you're working on the academic stuff, find something else DD is good at and nurture it. If she's getting negativity from school she'll need a confidence boost.

Original poster

ScattySuze · 03/03/2017 00:37

She's good at flash cards until they contain complex diagraphs and then is confused " igh " is hard off her too
Is 6 1/2 too young for a tutor?! I'm hoping the answer to that is yes!!

OP posts:

Original poster

ScattySuze · 03/03/2017 00:38

I don't think she realises she's not doing as well as the others or anything, when I got home last night from PE she proudly said " I know you're proud of me as I always try my best " she is great at dance and drama and does those clubs and enjoys them

OP posts:

anothermalteserplease · 03/03/2017 00:43

A tutor at that age is just going to add to the stress. They're still young at Y1. Just make sure you make time for reading with her. No pressure, just stories she enjoys.

BlondeBecky1983 · 03/03/2017 00:52

You may want to invest in these to boost phonics at home:

www.amazon.co.uk/Read-Write-Inc-Phonics-Flashcards/dp/0198386818?tag=mumsnetforum-21

I don't know if her school uses a phonics scheme but Read Write Inc is good for helping the children remember the sounds.

SewMeARiver · 03/03/2017 01:04

I know this sounds counterintuitive and easy for me to say, but try to relax, carry on reading aloud to DD, help her see reading is fun.

People are right phonics is not for everyone. DS1 had no phonics, mostly learned sight reading, he is the best speller and reader. I know they're not politically correct, but I swear by Peter & Jane. I brought the complete set and DS1 caught on to the foundations of reading fairly quickly by recognising similar words. Also Cat in the Hat series. I also brought a few flash cards from early learning centre I played snap with.

Used school based phonic system with DS2 (he was a complete surprise and I had given P&J to a friend by then). He was really slow to read and his spelling isn't half as good as it should be. I regret not sticking to my earlier methods.

One interesting thing is that I had no TV with DS1. So he was stuck with books or nothing really. DS2, I was knackered by then and had television to entertain him, which I personally think was a big factor in how much he engaged with books. DS2 is very much a passive learner. Another regret of mine oh well.

PurpleAlerts · 03/03/2017 01:30

Jesus Christ!- she is 6 in year 1? I despair of the primary curriculum that labels such young children as failures. A tutor at the age of 6? Seriously?

They should still be playing at this age, running around outside, being silly, not being forced to learn things they might not be ready for.

In many parts of Europe they don't start any formal learning till 7 and withing three months outstrip our poor tinies who have been chained to desks since they were 5, it just breaks my heart.

Fucking Michael Gove

Emerging in year 1 work is where they should be at the end of the first term. We are only halfway through term 2 so really not that far behind.

DD1 was one of the top readers in her year when she was in year 1. By the time her class got to the end of year 3 they were all at much the same level. She really struggled with maths and was in the bottom set of 4 in Junior school. Was just about average when she went to secondary school.

She eventually passed A level maths with an A grade...

DD2 took much much longer to get reading. I would say it was year 4 before it really clicked. Two years later she passed the 11+ and got a place at grammar school.

Newsflash:

CHILDREN DO NOT MAKE LINEAR PROGRESS

They are not little automatons who will remember everything they are taught. Some get it straight away and others take longer.

As others have said- foster a love of learning and reading through stories and play.

She sounds just lovely! Encourage her love of performing- it has many benefits which develop skills for many other areas of learning.

Weatherforecaster · 03/03/2017 03:14

Emerging is where she should be at this time of year. 'Expected' by the end of the year. However, if she came out as above expected in reception you'd expect her to be expected fairly soon so she can achieve above expected in those same areas by July. What areas was she 'above' in?

Graphista · 03/03/2017 03:25

Eliminate the obvious first - has she had an eye test? Is she getting enough sleep? What's the teacher like?

Some diagraphs have similar shape letters or tend to be next to similar shape letters so if she has blurred vision they can be hard to read (I have this problem if not wearing my specs). Colour blindness can also affect this type of thing, not just recognising colours but being able to recognise letters in different fonts etc especially as children's reading books tend toward the colourful.

Tiredness can affect concentration and make kids irritable/restless.

Does she like the teacher? Kids put more effort in for teachers they like, they're eager to please them.

Trifleorbust · 03/03/2017 03:25

Suggesting a tutor sounds like an admission of failure - are they saying that the teacher can not educate the child???

Children don't make progress at exactly the same rate. It is reasonable for the teacher to recognise that a child's progress might be slower than that of other children and suggest additional help alongside their teaching. We aren't magicians.

BusyBeez99 · 03/03/2017 06:23

Our DS learned to read by wrote. So they learned whole words. He was a fluent reader by year 1. How about going down this route at home and shelve the phonics

Peter and Jane books are good for this

BusyBeez99 · 03/03/2017 06:24

Or it is rote? Anyway I mean learning to recognise words by sight rather than phonics spelling out

NiceMoustache · 03/03/2017 06:27

A tutor at six and a half. Good grief.

Original poster

ScattySuze · 03/03/2017 06:30

Thanks for all the suggestions and will give some of them a shot
Her concentration for me is quite poor so if it's the same for the teacher I do understand why she might think one to one support for an hour a week could improve her.
Last year she ended on exceeding in writing and expected in reading.
This year she is likely to end expected in writing and emerging in reading.
She did say when I asked about 50% of the class are at a similar reading level so I think a lot was missed last year phonic / diagraph wise as our teacher was sick for quite a large proportion of the summer term so it www pretty inconsistent for the kids really.
I cannot believe tutors are £30 an hour! I had no idea!

OP posts:

SaltyMyDear · 03/03/2017 06:32

If she can read signs and flash cards better than books then that points to a vision problem called convergence insufficiency.

It is very likely she can't control her eyes properly so they scan all over the page, and can't move from one word to the other.

There is a video of this problem here: dyslexiagold.co.uk/EngagingEyes

OpalFruitsMarathonsandSpira · 03/03/2017 06:36

ScattySuze please don't shoot me down for this if you do these things already, but sometimes concentrating is a learned skill.

Things like jigsaws, baking, gardening, helping to sort the socks, wash the car or dry the dishes.
These can nurture the value in starting and finishing a job, and encourage mindfulness.

I'd try not to worry about attainment too much. She will be who she will be, and her success will come more from confidence and self belief than anything else.

annandale · 03/03/2017 06:37

I would strongly agree with those who say to focus on stories, play and enjoyment. I personally wouldn't go down the peter and Jane route, as IF she is having genuine trouble rather than just being 6, it could mask it. I say this having been a fast sight reader myself but ds has had difficulty that way. Force yourself to read to her and to carry on enjoying stories, and keep a close eye on things.

Vicki1976 · 03/03/2017 06:42

My son failed the phoenics test at the end of yr 1. He did a SERI course in yr 2 which was great and really helped, try not to worry.

NotYoda · 03/03/2017 06:53

Have her hearing and eyesight tested if you have not already done so

saladsmoothie · 03/03/2017 06:53

Gosh, threads like this terrify me. We left UK years ago and deliberately do not put our children in the international British Curriculum schools. The British system is so harsh, and seems not to be remotely interested in teaching children to learn.

My now 10 yr old didn't feel ready to learn to read until she was 7. She was encouraged to do other things that interested her instead. When she felt ready she got the hang of it very quickly and is now the most voracious reader, and rarely has her nose out of a book.

My 5yo can just about recognise most of the letters in her name now. I am absolutely confident she will read and write in her own time, and it will be a calm and enjoyable journey where her successes are celebrated and no one will be piling on pressure or branding her a failure if she doesn't do it at the same speed as her peers.

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