I know I'm AIBU but...

[theclick]

Girl recently joined work on a freelance basis but she knows the boss well and they always have a laugh together. They were arranging drinks. She asks another colleague who sits opposite me - "what are you doing tonight? Would you like to come?". Colleague says she can't but AIBU to feel a bit put out I didn't get an invite? I wouldn't have gone anyway, but I just feel a little meh about it, I know it's my hormones but still.

Woman, not girl. And if it was obvious you wouldn't go, why ask you?

I'd feel a bit put out by that, whether or not it's reasonable!

Yes and no, I'd have felt the same, like the unpopular girl in school, but on the other hand she doesn't need to invite you just because you were sat there, she should only do that if it was a whole office thing. She should be able to organise drinks with who she wishes and not hide it. So you're feelings are understandable, but she didn't do anything really wrong.

It wasn't nice of her to ask right in front of you, and make it clear you weren't invited. No one ever died from behaving with a bit of sensitivity and discretion.

theonly

It's quite common to say "girl in work" or "guy in work"

Mumsnet is the only place where that would ever be an issue to call someone "girl"

And YANBU op.

She was under no obligation to invite you, but it is ill-mannered to issue invitations or discuss social events which involve some, but not all of those present, so YANBU.

Having said that, it's a point of etiquette that seems to be almost entirely disregarded nowadays, so I don't think you can really blame your colleague for being unaware of it. I'd feel a little hurt in your position, although, like you, I'd almost certainly have not wanted to go.

Yep she was under no obligation (and I wouldn't go if I thought it was like that), it was just a bit like - oh ok! I always wonder if it's because I'm boring, don't have banter etc. I drive home, they take the train back to London. But not sure this woman would know that.

I'd have been hurt too.

You are not BU to feel slighted.

You are BU to say "I know I am AIBU" because that expands to "I know I am Am I Being Unreasonable".

Slightly overdoing the Is and the Ams.

She was rude definitely. But freelancers do tend to be rude when it comes to dealings with non-managers - had she been an employee she would have been more discrete about the request.