Aibu to say DS will be punished for this?

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

DS1 had a chronic health condition, this sees him spend a lot of time in hospital and take 30+ medications a day, as a result his school are very hyper vigilant when looking after him and will phone me for everything he might do that was out of the ordinary and I'm glad they do, I'm incredibly grateful that they take such good care of him.

However DS has very quickly learnt that if he doesn't want to be at school a quick teary eyed word to his teacher and they'll come and phone me to collect him and so far every single time I have.

Now today DS2 isn't at school, he has a long running health issue and I was seeking extra advice today for him, he also has unconnected MH issues and part of that stems from me being away so much with DS1's health, DS1 knows this and was part of a conversation yesterday where DS2 said that even though it's a horrible reason to be off, he was looking forward to some time with me alone.
I also don't have access to transport today and that was made very clear to DS1.

He woke up and immediately started 'feeling unwell' I know DS well enough to know he just wanted a day off because his brother was having one so I told him that he was going to school and that I wouldn't be collecting early as I had no means to. He peeked right up, strolled out the door for the train with a cup of tea in hand.

Then a few hours later I get the call, can I come and get him because the poor darling has struggled though 1 lesson but doesn't feel he can go on,

I told them that no, I couldn't, I have no transport at all.
Then I get another call to say he was refusing to eat because he felt so awful and did they have permission for a teacher to drive him home. I said yes.

I'll just reiterate I'm not annoyed with the school at al in this case.

However I have said to DS1 on his return that he was to go and get into bed and I'd have all mobiles/games consoles etc from him he was far to sick to play them, he then demanded lunch to which I replied that surely he must still have the lunch he took with his that he was far too unwell to eat?

He's now moaning and whinging that I'm being unfair.

So AIBU to make him stay in bed all day with no entertainment and pack him off to school tomorrow?

Absolutely the right thing to do.

YAsoooo NBU!! Best thing to do, nip this kind of piss-taking in the bud.

Poor DS2 - his day on his own with mum completely overshadowed again by his big brother :(

Glad you stuck to your original plan of not picking him up but I don't think the school really did the right thing to send him home! I get that they're on high alert and don't want to have to deal with any medical emergencies with him, but still! I also realise you're not blaming them at all, and I'm not really either, but that just wasn't very helpful of them under the circs.

You did exactly the right thing.

I hope you were able to spend some time with DS2 - you are right that he deserves a bit of coddling.

jaysis That sounds really harsh.

Did you or your siblings have form for trying to pull a fast one?

I remember being ill and lying on the sofa watching telly, dozing on and off, or getting up to throw up, and being allowed to eat and drink what I felt like. Certainly wan't well enough for school, but didn't need to lie in a darkened room with nothing to distract me. That sounds completely miserable and quite poor care from your parents TBH.

Absolutely YANBU, well done OP. I intend to be like this with my twins as I can see something similar happening if one is off. If they are sick enough to be of school then they can stay in bed with all electronics removed. Stick to your guns!!

My son used to do this all the time. I'd respond with the same thing of no electronics. It worked to some degree but sometimes he would rather be home being bored than being bored in school.........
There's nothing more infuriating when they take the piss.

If there were medals for NBU, you'd get one.

It's exactly what I do when DS tries it on.

A lesson in parenting. Well done!

I've done the same as you.so mine don't try it on as they know it's a day in bed with a book

No, YANBU. In our house it's not 'punishment' though. Bed rest, healthy food (no sweets), no playing out after school time finishes and an early night are all vital to aid a speedy recovery in a 'poorly' child. More than 1 day off in a school week will also probably affect curfew times/sleepovers the following weekend as well, as they must be run down and needing plenty of rest. They do not try it on very often!

My dd did this yesterday, knowing I would have to pick her up with great granny in tow... who of course decided she had appendix issues and was going to die. She did a pretty good impression, until 330 when she bounced downstairs dressed asking to play out!!! Now I realise she was indeed faking it.
I am more annoyed today as I have remembered it was also a Wednesday last time she pulled this shit.

Next time the school rings I will be away for the day and not able to collect.

You are doing exactly the right thing. Keep it going and don't back down.

The only thing I would have done in addition was to tell the school that I thought he was as taking it and why. I would have told them not to bother bringing him home.

DD2 once tried to get me to collect her from school because she hadn't liked the taste of a paracetamol tablet she had been given for a headache. I told her to have a drink of water and get straight back to class. She never tried it again.

Faking it, not taking. Sodding autocorrect.

YANBU, he needs to learn that if he's faking being ill it won't mean a fun day at home.

"Let the punishment fit the crime" and I'd say that you've done exactly that!

Did you or your siblings have form for trying to pull a fast one?
I remember being ill and lying on the sofa watching telly, dozing on and off, or getting up to throw up, and being allowed to eat and drink what I felt like. Certainly wan't well enough for school, but didn't need to lie in a darkened room with nothing to distract me. That sounds completely miserable and quite poor care from your parents TBH.

rightsofwomen
My sister tried a few times to pull a sicky.
They weren't being harsh - both parents valued education as both had been forced to leave school at a young age due to circumstance. So they felt that missing school was only for unavoidable reasons and you had to be genuinely sick. Things like headaches and period pain, you were expected to take a paracetamol and get on with school.

When I was sick, my mother would check on me often, get offered tea & toast /boiled egg if I could manage it and I got lots of cuddles and little chats, but it was expected that we get plenty of rest and recover. TV was never allowed on in daytime anyway, and that rule was not changed when anyone was sick. And usually as when sick you would sleep a lot and read but I was a book worm so mum would confiscate my book after an hour or two in order to force me into the rest I needed. I'd get it back though. And she was right. I'd stay awake all night to finish a book if I was allowed still would

But if you were pulling a sicky, like my sister often did to get out of shared chores, then they played you at your own game and you'd soon "feel better" due to the boredom and rejoined the family.