Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

facebook stranger contacting me .... would you?

55 replies

Sparklezz · 02/03/2017 10:35

So I joined a single mums group on facebook over the weekend. Never joined this kind of thing before and I wanted to see if I could perhaps meet some new friends.
Last night though I got a message saying "hi". thought nothing of it and responded thinking it might be a work related thing or even a single mum. turns out that its a guy wanting to see if I am single!!! Said he found my name on the single mum group but his name isn't even on there.
I find it odd and a bit Jeremy kyle (sorry) above all a bit weird. His profile says nothing about him, not even a picture so that is even stranger but I know he must have had a look at my stuff to contact me.
Being the nosey person that I am will quiz him some more before a block him. What do you think, and what would you do?

OP posts:
MrsGB2225 · 02/03/2017 11:18

That's creepy! Block & report

HerOtherHalf · 02/03/2017 11:18

Creepy as hell. Why single mums specifically? Does he think they are soft targets or is he (worst case scenario) actually more interested in getting some kind of access to the kids?

sobeyondthehills · 02/03/2017 11:20

Depending on the security of the group, anyone could see either all the posts. Or just the members. If its a secret group, he wouldn't be able to search it at all, so must be a member

So if the group is called Single Mums in x area, anyone could search it, and then PM every single member of that group.

He might not be a member.

LouKout · 02/03/2017 11:21

No. He could be a scammer based abroad or anything.

Sorry but its very naive to even consider this. Please be more wary online.

littlefrog3 · 02/03/2017 11:21

Ewww that is well disturbing. Block! And report. (Maybe report first; I'm not sure which order it goes.)

I am seriously suspicious of any man that targets single mothers; does he think they are more vulnerable, naive, easy? Or is he after the children? OMG the thought is too horrible for words ~shudder~

0dfod · 02/03/2017 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Datun · 02/03/2017 11:28

Do not quiz him! You will be one of dozens of women he has messaged. For whatever reason. None of it good. And there is a strong possibility he is not in the slightest bit harmless.

If you engage with him you will never get rid of him unless you change all your security settings and blocking from everything.

Ignore and block.

unfortunateevents · 02/03/2017 11:28

I would however report to the admin of the FB group that the settings are too lax. They must have set it up as an open group in order for him to be able to see that you are a member. That is not a good thing, she needs to change the settings so that at minimum members are not visible to the whole of FB.

Fakenewsday · 02/03/2017 11:29

this is an obvious block and report - i'm a bit concerned that this isn't obvious to you. It's not an online dating group so why would his contact ever be anything other than dubious?

IamFriedSpam · 02/03/2017 11:29

The likelihood of him being a scammer or worse is just so high that I would just block him and forget it. There are plenty of dating sites he could use to meet people why would he specifically target a single mums group? Very very dodgy.

Original poster
Sparklezz · 02/03/2017 11:36

Thankfully my profile is set to friends only. I've blocked him. I don't want the hassle of it all just in case he is some dodgy stalker.

OP posts:
LouKout · 02/03/2017 11:40

He already is one. You made the right decision.

LetsStartAtTheVeryBeginning · 02/03/2017 11:40

Your last post makes it sound like you were considering responding to him. Is there part of you that thinks he might be interested in getting to know you?

For genuine reasons?

PoorYorick · 02/03/2017 11:49

This will sound paranoid, and perhaps it is, but paedophiles often target single mothers. If he's approached you and the only thing he knows about you is that you're single with a child, I'd stay well away.

Fishbiscuits · 02/03/2017 12:11

Unfortunateevents that's not true, if you search for a closed group you are able to see a list of members even if you are not a member yourself. Membership is only hidden for secret groups, which I'm pretty sure can't be searched for either, you have to be invited.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 02/03/2017 12:19

I know a man who only goes out with single mums. He targets them especially as they would think he was Mr Wonderful, coming to save them from a life of drudge being on their own with kids.

Once his feet are under the table he shows his true colours. Total control freak who mentally and physically abuses. A friend of mine was beaten to a pulp and hospitalised. Once she got away we found out he was with his next victim, who was of course a single mum who thought he was wonderful. Until it happened to her.

He has hundreds of 'single mum' friends on fbook.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 02/03/2017 12:21

Messages have to be approved from non-friends - at least, I know I have to. I'm set to friends only I think.

I don't accept those messages. I just delete. The last two I've had were from family I don't want to accept.

pasturesgreen · 02/03/2017 13:04

I don't know why you'd even consider engaging this man in conversation, the Confused

He's a weirdo messaging random people on fb. You just don't "quiz him some more", you delete and block.

pasturesgreen · 02/03/2017 13:06

tbh even!

TheNaze73 · 02/03/2017 13:09

Is it Hugh Grant from that film?

Just block

RaspberryOverloadsOnChilli · 02/03/2017 13:16

I have to agree with Fishbiscuits as I'm on a closed group and a secret group. You can search for one but not the other.

As for this chap, block and delete. And warn the admin of the group as well.

anothermalteserplease · 02/03/2017 13:31

I'm glad you've blocked him. Please let the group admin know though so they can either change the group settings and/or put a warning about guys trying to contact members of the group.

JustSpeakSense · 02/03/2017 13:37

If he's searching single mum groups to try and make friends, my first instinct would be that he might be a paedophile .

Very glad you blocked him immediately.

thethoughtfox · 02/03/2017 14:27

Scary controlling man looking for a victim or even worse potential child molester looking for a victim. Every sense says bad man.

FreeNiki · 02/03/2017 14:28

I get random messages from guys now and then. I just block them