Late last year I got out of rehab, I'm almost seven months clean and proud of it but feel like I've completely stalled in my life with no way forward.
I live in halfway housing for people with substance abuse and mental health problems which can get dangerous, added to this is the fact that my room would be taken away the instant the Doc decided I wasn't ill enough, despite my diagnosis, any more - this has already happened with one doc who said that I didn't have mental health problems anymore now I was sober, he was rebuked by the mental health team after they had to assign the crisis team to a home visit every day. I don't really feel safe there but it's better than no roof over my head.
I'm on a course which I hope will improve my chances in life but wouldn't graduate fully until September, my DP is supportive of my recovery and path I've chosen but gets vague when I say I'm terrified of now becoming homeless and this makes me feel like I'm on shaky ground if anything worse does happen.
I don't know, I feel like I have nothing to complain about but still feel awful and without any security, I feel like I'm just drifting through my newly sober life while the other people I know who made it to this point without relapsing have started renting flats and getting their lives together, I know they have more money than me and don't need to be on benefits but it still makes me feel like a failure. I'm also sick constantly and apparently this is normal in early recovery but I've been in and out of hospital with chest infections since November and am just a bit worn down with it all.
Am I just holding a pity party for one here? Gentle arse-kicking probably needed.