To wonder how things can be truly equal of your dp earns more than you?

[malificent7]

Im on a shitty low wage. My dp is on twice as much but that is still not much. He is not the father of my child and we dont live together. We have been together for just over a year.

I started off being able to contribute equally to us going out etc but my cumstances changed.
He is very generous and takes me out etc but we both want to go away together this summer.

The thing is he dan afford to go away but i cant. I think he should rake his own dd away anyway although i do feel sad we cant share this special time together. I also strongly feel that he needs a holiday with or without me.

How do you work things out like this?

You can get foreign holidays for peanuts. Holiday pirates have trips for as low as about £80 for a week including flights, this must be doable? If not I'd say you really can't afford to holiday this year at all.

To create equality in respect of paying for things, why not simplify it? Cook a meal at home for him? Or go for a walk somewhere? If going to the cinema go on cheap night, or to an independent. Cut back the costs.

In the long term, don't be surprised if nothing ever really becomes "equal" not financially in any sense.
When I met DH we had an equal earning potential, but because I had a child who wasn't his, it seemed to make sense that I dealt with child care and the home etc, taking a lower paid less stressful job to ensure that the house was kept in a reasonable state, and childcare wasn't an issue etc.
So in turn this meant that when DH became not a boyfriend but a partner, that I took on the lions share of chores that involved him. I.E. prepping his lunches and organising his Drs appointments, ironing his clothes, writing this. He took as much care as DD did.
My income has gone up and down over the years, but this has gone up and down to protect DHs "career".

In this situation, no I don't feel like I am less than he, as he is thankful for the fact that I put his career first.

Do you have any family who can lend you some money

Do go on holidays and eat in expensive restaurants??

He's a boyfriend. Not a partner.

If he wants to do something and you can't afford it, then you decline.

If he wants to treat you then he can but that's up to him.

It's a very different situation from an established couple, living together with children.

Would your father not lend you some money?