to think that a week after my baby's birth is a bit soon for a family get together?

[sazzybee]

I'm going in to be induced next Thursday evening and hopefully will manage to have the baby on Friday 9th and come home on Saturday. I am single and my mum is going to be my birthing partner. She's then going to stay with me for an unspecified period of time after the baby's born to help me. This is my first (and last) baby. It's my mum's birthday on the 15th and, as it's mother's day 3 days later, we usually get together as a family to celebrate. My mum's already said to me that she isn't expecting to celebrate her birthday properly this year - we might be able to go out locally I guess for something to eat if all is going well on the day but she's not bothered. But* my elder sister has texted me today to say that if I don't have to have a c section, shall we all get together on Saturday 17th?
I don't think I can cope with having them all here at once - there's 10 people in my family, four of whom are over 6 foot, and I live in a small flat. But if it's at my mum's, that will mean she'll have to go (she lives over an hour's drive away) and leave me on my own or we'll both have to get to her house somehow. I don't want to just say no way but would prefer to come up with some kind of suggestion. We can't do it the following weekend because my sisters are off skiing (separately). Do you think it's reasonable for me to suggest we go out for lunch at a restaurant/pizza express locally to me and then they all go home? Then if I don't feel up to going, I can stay home with the baby. It's a really long drive from my sister's house to me but not too bad for the rest of the family.

you could ask them to bring paper plates etc and a takeaway to yours then you have nothing to do adn everyone can be together and you will be at home and when it's over not left with a load of clearing up to do

I second asking if they can come to yours and sort out the food/clearing up etc. FWIW my ds was born 6 days before christmas and we had 25 people for christmas at dh's parents' house and I was wited on hand and foot, it was fab.

I don't think you should have them all at your flat. Agree to meet at a local Pizza express as you suggest, and then either go to the house of another family member (as you say it's not to bad to their places from yours) or say just your Sister comes back for a cup of tea before driving back?

How far away is your sisters?

I don't think you should feel pressured by your sister's text. Your Mum has said she isn't bothered by a fuss - she will be so over the moon about her new grandchild, anyway, and you don't have to feel obliged to make up for the fact that your sister's ski-ing arrangements have made things harder.

The problem is that my mum would end up doing everything while my sister and her family would sit around - like they always do. Besides - there really isn't room for them all here. My flat is really small and there aren't enough chairs. I never have them all round under any circumstances unless it's summer and we can go in the garden.

Just say 'no', Sazzy.
It's your Mum's b'day and she is the one who has said she isn't fussed, you are (understandably) feeling anxious about an event within a week of the birth...say 'no, Mum has said she isn't fussed, I will be feling very tired, don't think I can cope with everyone in the flat when I am so tired, so let's arrange for something after you get back from ski-ing'.

It sounds as if your sister is a bit of a one!!

Blu
One of my sisters lives about 45 mins drive away, the other one lives about 1 1/2 hours drive. The one that lives closer will come and see me and the baby in hospital immediately after she's born but I'm not sure about the other one.

all im gonna say is, once youve had a child you are public property.
it justgets worse....

Blu
She is a bit of 'a one'
Her daughter's 16 and I don't think she's really thought about what it's like to have a new baby. I'm just a bit scared I'll be a weepy disaster zone and won't be able to cope with them all. Not only are they all huge but they'll all very noisy with two dogs and they smoke

Oh you must insist on no dogs and no smoking if you have to have any of them around - maybe those "rules" could be used as an excuse not to meet at yours?

I had the same experience as ComeOVeneer with my third baby, born a few days before Christmas and we had the whole family at our house to stay. It was totally fab, I had lots of people to help with the other children and was waiting on hand and foot too. I wouldn't worry, but tell them to cook or take away.