Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bedding - who is BU?

52 replies

NoSherryForMe · 28/02/2017 12:59

We have a friend coming to stay today for a couple of nights. For logistical reasons too boring to go into, we'll be moving into a different bedroom and giving our guest the room we've been sleeping in. For even more boring logistical reasons, I changed our bedding yesterday.

When my DP discovered that I was planning to transfer the one-day-old bedding into the room we'll be sleeping in tonight, he asked why we couldn't just let our guest use those sheets. I squealed in horror and said no, that would be grim. He thinks I'm being too fussy and it's perfectly ok to offer a guest sheets that have been briefly, lightly slept in. Which of us is U?

OP posts:
Original poster
NoSherryForMe · 28/02/2017 13:35

I hate to generalise, but some chaps are blissfully unaware of what I'd have thought was basic hygiene. An ex of mine didn't realise you were supposed to brush your teeth in the morning as well as night and was a stranger to deodorant. In fact, I've had to wax lyrical on the virtues of deodorant to two boyfriends. I can only assume their parents never talked to them about this stuff.

OP posts:
Olympiathequeen · 28/02/2017 13:36

That's very unreasonable of you DH but unsurprising knowing most men's lack of hygiene

MaidOfStars · 28/02/2017 13:38

We did this last weekend - shifted our bedding into the spare room for us, then clean bedding in our bedroom for guests.

We have then shifted our bedding back, but we didn't bother changing the bottom sheet. Neither of us is worried about it (and I know these houseguests do the same when we visit them). But I wouldn't assume any other guest to be similarly unworried so wouldn't think it OK for them to sleep on even our sheet.

I often decamp to our spare room as I'm a bit of a fidgety insomniac. I don't really care if they haven't been stripped down from the last guest lazy

My Mum, if visiting alone, doesn't mind sleeping in the unchanged spare bed if only I've been in it.

expatinscotland · 28/02/2017 13:39

Eeeww! Your DH is being unreasonable.

Original poster
NoSherryForMe · 28/02/2017 13:41

The idea of snuggling up to a pre-drooled-on pillowcase is particularly unappealing.

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 28/02/2017 13:41

Guests get clean sheets

Especially if you sleep naked

AnUtterIdiot · 28/02/2017 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnUtterIdiot · 28/02/2017 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lochan · 28/02/2017 13:48

Of course clean sheets.

I spent a very uncomfortable night at one friend's who clearly hadn't changed the sheets before my visit. I could tell because they sleep with their dog and their were dog hairs all over the sheets. Confused

I've been politely declining offers to "just stay the night" ever since.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/02/2017 13:49

Beingna poor sleeper I often decamp to our spare room, and wouldn't usually change the sheets for a dd, and they wouldn't expect it. Non-family guests are another matter, and I've just changed the bed for a guest who arrived this morning.

I often stay at a dd's and sleep in a bed where she's had other guests staying. If they look clean, I'm really not fussed - she's got more than enough to do without changing beds for me.

Lochan · 28/02/2017 13:49

there were Blush The memory of those sheet has distressed me so much my grammar has deserted me!

Kiroro · 28/02/2017 13:49

If you know the guest well, ask them! I wouldn't mind sleeping in sheets my friends had used for one night (as long as there aren't any bodily fluids etc...)

This.

Depends who it is. My mum/sister/best friend - no I wouldn't change.

eddiemairswife · 28/02/2017 13:51

If my daughter has only slept one night, I wouldn't change the sheets if my granddaughter came, and vice versa, but I always change the pillowcase.

Ginkypig · 28/02/2017 13:54

Would he be ok going to a hotel that had had someone only stay for one night the night before without the hotel changing the bed?

No? Then why is it ok for someone else

Yes? Well then I think there's a bigger problem that needs addressed Shock Smile

Switty · 28/02/2017 13:55

Clean sheets for guests, always. I think if you are not prepared to put yourself out to this small extent, you shouldn't invite people. I would do as you planned - shift your bedding and put out the fresh stuff for them.

rightsofwomen · 28/02/2017 13:59

For a friend and some family members, yes. For my sisters and nieces not necessarily. And they'd treat me the same. I don't really regard my sisters as guests - just my sisters coming to stay IYKWIM.

seafoodeatit · 28/02/2017 13:59

Your DH is BU, guests should always clean bedding.

seafoodeatit · 28/02/2017 14:00

always have clean* not that they should clean your sheets.

needmymouthsewnup · 28/02/2017 14:01

I remember staying at BIL's and his (first) wife's house years ago and they had a 'guest bedroom' which clearly just stayed exactly as it was for every 'guest' - it was rank, the sheets had clearly been slept in many times before and the pillows smelt terrible - I slept fully clothed and had to put a jumper over the pillow, and I still couldn't sleep! Luckily, he has remarried and is less skanky himself (and his new wife would never give anyone old sheets either). But we didn't stay overnight again for a long time....

I know your situation is less gross, but I would still rather not sleep in a bed that's already been slept in - I mean who knows if the previous occupant sleeps naked or not?! So it's another eewwwww for your DH from me Smile

Original poster
NoSherryForMe · 28/02/2017 14:11

I'd just like to reassure everyone that I've already changed the sheets! There will be no skankiness on my watch.

OP posts:
FrenchLavender · 28/02/2017 14:23

You really do have to give a guest clean sheets. The thing is, you can't really smell your own smell on bedding that's only a day or two old, but other people will smell you on it. Plus it will be wrinkled which is always a giveaway MIL I am looking at you, you think I can't tell but I can.

meganorks · 28/02/2017 14:24

Well it is hardly 'wallowing in filth' with 1 day old bed sheets! But that said, absolutely guests have to have clean bedding.
Unless someone a shit the bed though no way I would have changed them 1 day before guests came!

FuckingSausageFingers · 28/02/2017 14:30

NoSherryForMe DH admitted recently that he only started brushing his teeth before bed at night when he got together with me. Didn't realise you were meant to apparently Hmm His teeth are beautiful and perfect, annoyingly.

I went to school with a lad who never used deodorant. Didn't need it. He never ever smelt like BO - always smelt perfectly pleasant in fact. I wouldn't say deodorant is essential or that not using it is a sign that you're unclean.

Original poster
NoSherryForMe · 28/02/2017 14:37

I went to school with a lad who never used deodorant. Didn't need it. He never ever smelt like BO - always smelt perfectly pleasant in fact. I wouldn't say deodorant is essential or that not using it is a sign that you're unclean.

I have a (male) friend like that. I think he's just not a very sweaty person. But for most people, if you do a manual job and don't use deodorant, you'll definitely be a bit whiffy after a few hours.

OP posts:
Oldraver · 28/02/2017 15:03

Guests deserve clean sheets.

I still wince when I think of staying the night at my BIL's....in DN's bed.....that we heard her shagging in with her boyfriend in the afternoon...in their sheets