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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Party on Mothering Sunday

72 replies

Sparklycurtainpole · 28/02/2017 10:56

Close to us is a kids' play centre which throws great parties. You have to book almost a year in advance to get a slot though as it's so popular.
A family member who is notoriously disorganised told me the other week that she had yet to organise her DS birthday party and had no idea what to do.
Anyway, yesterday we got an invite to the party and it's on Mothering Sunday 11-1 at the play centre.
I asked family member if she had realised the date and she said she'd phoned on the off chance and the centre told her they had space that day because it was mothers' day.
AIBU to think this is a bit 'off'?
Not only will the mums of the attending kids not get family time but the timing of the party is likely to prevent quite a lot of people celebrating with or visiting their own mums.
We feel as if we have to go as it's a very close family member and my kids would be really sad not to join the birthday boy to celebrate his birthday (and DP and I obviously) . However my DP works away (often over weekends) and I was really looking forward to spending a special day with just him and our kids together and then visiting our own respective mums.
Any opinions? I know it means some mums might love their OH to take the kids instead and give them a break but what about lone parents or like me, parents whose partners are usually away?
Am i being a bit of a birthday grump or is this totally fine?
Oh, and DS birthday is not til almost five weeks after the party date!

OP posts:

Aworldofmyown · 28/02/2017 11:34

I accidentally booked my daughters party on Mothers Day last year, I did feel a bit bad but actually no one cared and said they enjoyed the party.

viques · 28/02/2017 11:34

18toys and Bantanddec Mothering Sunday is not a Hallmark celebration, it is a long established and well recorded event in the UK. The U.S. Mothers Day is very Hallmark so you can diss that to your heart's content but hands off the UK Mothering Sunday.

Original poster

Sparklycurtainpole · 28/02/2017 11:35

Drop and run not an option.
Kids 6, 3, and 9 months
😄

OP posts:

EurusHolmesViolin · 28/02/2017 11:36

Enough people would object to the idea to make it an unwise choice, unless you know for certain your guests are ok with it. It doesn't actually matter what any particular individual thinks of it. I don't like Valentines Day but I wouldn't be daft enough to host a party in the evening and expect anything like full attendance.

fairweathercyclist · 28/02/2017 11:38

Mother's Day is a made-up day when florists and restaurants make lots of money for overpriced flowers and food. It has nothing to do with Mothering Sunday anymore.

I am doing a running race on mother's Day. I'll also, as it happens, be doing one on Father's Day. If you want to go out with the family, why not go on the Saturday or another day when it won't be as busy or expensive and you might have a nicer time.

Mother's Day is a real nuisance. occasionally it falls on my birthday and I really dislike it. It gives me an insight into how those whose birthdays are on Feb 14th must feel!

LIZS · 28/02/2017 11:38

Still plenty of time for a nice lunch or tea. Dd is regularly otherwise occupied on Mothering Sunday, with rehearsals or parties. This year ds will also be away.

CotswoldStrife · 28/02/2017 11:38

If you were just planning to spend the day as a family then it's easier to fit in an unexpected party, but if you were planning to visit two other mums (your own parents) as well then it's a pain! Children like parties so it's not always easy to say no, though.

I would be rolling my eyes a bit too, tbh.

RhiWrites · 28/02/2017 11:39

This reminds me of when a lunch that was planned for months and I was looking forward to got suddenly cancelled because someone pointed out it was Mothers Day.

I think Mother's Day is flowers and a card - phonecall to your mum. Why do you need to spend all day celebrating it?

InvisibleKittenAttack · 28/02/2017 11:41

Well, a lot of people will already have plans - we've got PIL coming over for lunch, so would just decline for a friend's party. Holding it over lunchtime (and assuming the children will all eat at the party so no point saying "move your family lunch to 1:30"), means it stops many families doing the family lunch get-together. I'd suggest she moves it to 3-5 - that way most families can do the family Sunday lunch thing then go to the party.

I would say though, if you already have plans to see the grannies, then just decline the party rather than making the day rushed and no fun for anyone. You can arrange something with her dcs the weekend before/after.

squiggleirl · 28/02/2017 11:42

I think the timing is actually quite good.

If you're into Mother's Day to the extent that you'd have planned to be doing something to celebrate at 11am, then you just decline.

Even if going for lunch, a 2pm lunch is perfectly reasonable, still leaving time for an afternoon/evening together.

Most people don't go all out on Mother's Day, so a party that day makes no odds. Also, you'll find with most parties, there'll always be something on that means people can't attend: swimming lessons, music lessons, sports training or matches, visiting family who live further away.

It is your choice what you do with your day. Getting cross because somebody else has chosen to do something different that day, is just pointless.

AQuietMind · 28/02/2017 11:42

Its just a day.

reallyanotherone · 28/02/2017 11:44

l8toys, it is part of the ecclesiastical calendar - not just Hallmark's.

Yes, and so you should be visiting your home/mother church.

Allthebestnamesareused · 28/02/2017 11:47

But it doesn't need to be you OP that goes to the party your DH can go with the kids. You get some me time!

Penfold007 · 28/02/2017 11:49

It's an invitation, if it doesn't fit in with your plans just politely decline.

WhoKn0wsWhereTheTimeG0es · 28/02/2017 11:58

I only found out when it is by chance yesterday, we've already agreed that DD can go to something at Guides that day, it doesn't bother me in the slightest that it's Mother's Day, we don't do anything other than cards for it. If you already had plans then that's a bit of a pain and you'll probably have to decline, but that can happen on any Sunday, not just this one.

Blobby10 · 28/02/2017 12:01

PEDANT ALERT!!! Mothering Sunday (celebrated in UK this year on 26th March) when I was young always used to be a church service (C of E school) then posy of daffodils for Mum and us kids helping Dad cook the dinner and wash up. Any present was a bowl of bulbs or something small and a home made card, usually involving stuck on pink tissue paper!!. Nowadays it seems to be much more about the (bought) cards and expensive presents and going out for meals than it used to be.

Once my own children got involved in sports (particularly rugby) the male coaches including my kids dad thought it absolutely hilarious to arrange overnight matches or long distance matches on MS. Therefore MS in our house diminished in significance considerably and this year I wont have any 'children' coming home to even remember it!

youngestisapsycho · 28/02/2017 12:02

This is why I hate Mothers day... I am a mum everyday, as is my mum. Take your child to the party.

Basicbrown · 28/02/2017 12:03

It's an invitation, if it doesn't fit in with your plans just politely decline.

^This. I never understand the angst over kids' party invites. If it doesn't work for you then don't go.

Quartz2208 · 28/02/2017 12:06

I booked DD birthday party on Mothering Sunday last year, I got caught out by a really early Easter (her birthday is this Sunday so nowhere near it this year). I booked it and then realised.

Only two person replied and said they had Mothers Day Plans, we had 17 turn up (another 2 could not make it). One of the two who had Mothers Day Plans was a really good friend (who had an invite mix up with divorced parents) had a make up party the week later at a ceramics cafe with another one who could not make it.

Quite a few dropped off and ran out and went for coffee together and said it was a nice break for them!

bigearsthethird · 28/02/2017 12:07

Not an issue, its only 2 hours. It wouldn't bother me

Yokohamajojo · 28/02/2017 12:08

For us it wouldn't be a problem as we don't celebrate and if we would we probably just would have a fancier dinner than usual! It is a big deal for some though and last year one of DS's football things had to be moved as it fell on mother sunday and loads of people said they couldn't do it.

Valentinebirthdaygirl · 28/02/2017 12:10

fairweathercyclist - it's great having your birthday on Feb 14. Makes it extra-special, imo.

Iamastonished · 28/02/2017 12:26

This would annoy me

Seriously
I don't understand why some women make such a big deal of Mothering Sunday, and I certainly wouldn't stop my child from attending a party for my own selfish reasons. It's only two hours out of the day, and DD wouldn't want to be glued by my side all day anyway.

I want to enjoy Mothering Sunday, but wouldn't want to spoil it for DD who would spend all day resenting me because I wouldn't allow her to go to a party, then the day would be spoiled anyway.

CheeseCrackersAndWine · 28/02/2017 12:38

I couldn't get my knickers in a twist over this. It's not like it's your wedding or Christmas Day! This Mother's Day I am taking my eldest to spectate a gymnastics competition as she has just been asked to join the competition team & has been invited along to support/watch the team. I wouldn't deny her this because it's mothers day. I'll probably get breakfast in bed with some cuddles then the day will go on like any other Sunday x

Soubriquet · 28/02/2017 12:41

I have to share my Mother's Day with Dd's birthday this year

I think you can manage 2 hours at a party

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