Time off school for a family funeral

[chitofftheshovel]

I have a family funeral next Tuesday to attend. And will be taking my two children with me. They are in Year 5 and Year 7. The funeral is for a for a very elderly relative (she was 101) so will be a celebration of her life and a chance for the extended family to get together, some of whom I know well, others I have never met (I feel this is relevant).

In good weather and traffic conditions the drive takes 6 hours. The funeral starts at 12pm, which would mean leaving by 5 am to be certain to get there on time. I would then be pretty shattered after a long drive, we would need breakfast at some point and would arrive in crumpled clothing.

Or I could do the drive the day before. If we left after school realistically we wouldn't be able to leave until 4.30 pm which would mean not getting there until at least 10.30 pm, but would have to stop for our evening meal so it would be later. If we left during the day on Monday I would be under a lot less pressure.

Similarly after the funeral and wake I don't really want to be driving for at least six hours.

As a family we are very geographically wide-spread and my children don't get to see my close relatives very often, let alone their extended ones.

My ideal would be to travel up on the Monday and back on the Wednesday but WIBU to request 3 days off school for a family funeral?

I wouldn't send them in for half day, what would be the point? At best they won't be able to concentrate and worst they may be upset.

Agree with previous, just inform school of what you are doing and off you go. They cannot actually stop you.

I would definitely travel up one or two days before. When I was in Year 10 my uncle died; he lived in northern Scotland 450 miles away from us. We went up on the Saturday and came back on the Tuesday I think, so missed a couple of days of school. I would request an authorised absence form, but really hope the school wouldn't object to your children going to a family funeral.

Just take the 3 days. Funerals come under "exceptional circumstances". Any head who tries to suggest otherwise is wrong.

2014 I have the forms in front of me - primary one is titled "absence request form", the secondary one is titled "notification of student absence - not holiday". I guess because the primary school is so small they only have the one form which covers all absence.

Just take the 3 days it really isn't going to be worth it for the half day at school

You could just ask them out of courtesy, but if they say no go down the 'non-negotiable' line.

Don't give it a second thought. Fill out the forms and go.

It is different wording for the same thing just fill them in for the days you need and send them in

Our school were absolutely fine with authorising 3 days for a funeral with travel.

I don't know why you wouldn't just fill in the form to "request" authorised leave. Of course you can take them anyway, but if you get it authorised then so much the better - you can take them out for a week's leave later more easily, if you want. It's quicker to fill in the form than to construct a note.

Go 3 days it's not end of the world ,

Mine had 2 days off school for my mother's funeral as we weren't going to be home till midnight-ish.

I would request the 3 days off to ease the pressure on you for the driving, the pit-stops and because it will be emotionally draining.

Request? No no, you just tell them that the children will be off school for whatever duration for a funeral and leave it at that.

You do not need permission!

My dc's school told me they would only authorise one day, despite journey times. Fortunately the funeral fell at the beginning of the summer hols in the end so I didn't have to worry about it, but we would have taken the two days we needed. Three days is not unreasonable if it's 6 hours away.

I'd tell/inform the schools that they were going to be off. Don't send them a half day on the Monday. That way you could choose to set off on Sunday and stop over somewhere, or go up early over the weekend, if you want.

I agree it's an important event and agree important educationally. Not many children have relatives who have reached such an age and it will be wonderful for them to find out about the life and history of this person and meet their other relations.

I'd have no qualms in taking the 3 days. I'm assuming you're in England? It never ceases to amaze me the stress parents there are put under by schools for absences. I'm in Scotland and we've never had any hassles taking our kids out of school for anything, including family holidays. As long as we email the school and let them know, they'really fine with it. Why does the English education system make it so hard?

My thing with funerals is, you don't really get to choose the time they occur. Every recent one I've had dealings with has been a case of 'this is the time available, do you want it?'
So it's not as if the school could turn around and play the 'inconvenient' card, because you can't exactly pick a more convenient time iyswim?

Back at the computer! I was always going to fill the forms in, just wondered if I was taking the piss by taking three days. I must say I am somewhat surprised by MN reaction, nicely surprised. I thought I'd have people telling me to do it in one day.

lala I thought earlier about going over the weekend, my relative would definitely approve of making the most out of the trip.