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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have I left it too late to have a career?

10 replies

MadJeffBarn · 26/02/2017 20:13

I'm only 26, but with two children, a home to pay for and food to put on the table. I know the route I want to go down but it seems incredibly long winded, time consuming and frankly, a bit scary. I cant afford not to work, and the idea of being away from my children more than I already am breaks my heart. But I also know I'm unhappy in what I'm doing now. I'm doing the degree through the OU which is going to take 6 years if I do it part time, then I would need to do work based education to qualify. There's not alot else I want to do with my life. I feel totally stuck in a rut. I support my partner financially and he's starting his degree in September, and my hope is once he's finished he'll be in a position to be able to work to support us while I train, but I've been his financial support for our whole relationship bar two years when he worked. But I'm not holding my breath on him being selfless like that, and the idea of not earning my own money makes my chest feel tight!

OP posts:
Softkitty2 · 26/02/2017 20:17

Give and take in relationships are common. Why are you supporting him when he is unwilling to do the same for you?! He will get into a career once he is finished and if he leaves you then what?

You are still young, a little sacrifice now will potentially mean a secure future for yourself and children.

MadJeffBarn · 26/02/2017 20:23

He has Aspergers, and anxiety. So it's really stressful for him to get a 'proper' job. There's only one thing he wants to do or ever will do, I've had to really push him onto this course so that he has his qualifications on paper.

OP posts:
Bettyspants · 26/02/2017 20:28

You are very young. I'm 40 and doing a PhD for my chooser career path, studying and career choices don't have to happen before you are 30

honeylulu · 26/02/2017 20:33

Will his degree actually improve the chances of him being able to financially support the family, it is it a "nice to have"?
If the latter, would it not make more sense for you to get your qualification first?
I empathise with his aspergers/anxiety, as you clearly do, but you have children together to support so surely it would make more sense to maximise your earning power?
What does he think?

BarbarianMum · 26/02/2017 20:38

Yes why don't you qualify first? You are not too old but your choices have made things very difficult for yourself.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 26/02/2017 20:44

If the support of the family falls to you because of the Aspergers and anxiety, then he should support you to study first. He can deal with the anxiety as well.

MadJeffBarn · 26/02/2017 20:49

It would greatly improve his earning potential. He will make amazing contacts and, in theory, be set up to get some amazing work. His training will take half the time of mine aswell, the BsC part of mine can be easily done through the OU.

OP posts:
Bumblebiscuits · 26/02/2017 20:51

You may find, once you get into the studying that you can speed up the time it takes, i.e. take on more courses each year. Could your husband at least do the bulk of the childcare/housework to free you up to study? It seems like a marathon now, but really 32 is still quite young to kick off the next stage of your career. Your children will also be that much older, to free you up to putting more your career at that stage.

MajesticWhine · 26/02/2017 20:52

What do you do at the moment? Will you be stopping work to do the OU course? Sorry if I have misunderstood something.

It's never too late to have a career. I am newly qualified in my career in my 40s. But I sense this is not really the question.

FabulouslyGlamourousFerret · 26/02/2017 20:52

Gosh, 26 is nothing! Can I ask what career it is you want to follow?

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