To refuse to go away but instead decorate the living room?

[PlayOnWurtz]

I don't get on with my husband. In fact I had tried to instigate a split before I found out I was pregnant. One of the reasons is he is so inutterably lazy. He hasn't got a job and does the absolute minimum around the house.

He's proposed a weekend break to try and rekindle our relationship. I feel the priority should be our home and if that were in order it would go a long way to repairing thing. So aibu to use my break to decorate.

Of course not. Have you told him a break isn't what you need, it's for him to pull his weight around the house?

And if he's serious about saving the relationship why doesn't he start by helping his pregnant wife with jobs that need doing in the house?

Obviously you are not being unreasonable. I'm not sure why you're staying though. Things aren't likely to get better with a newborn.

I feel if that were in order it would go a long way towards repairing things - sorry but I can't quite agree with you there. If two people don't get on, a tidy or newly decorated house isn't going to change that.

Does it have to be an either / or thing? Couldn't you spend one weekend away and the next two or three getting the house into shape?

Not sure this is going to work out either way tbh. The laziness thing will become even more annoying once your DC is born!

Why doesn't he have a job?! How will you manage when you are on maternity leave?

I'm afraid that I wouldn't be thinking about decorating if I was you-I'd be packing bags-either mine or his.

I think your priority should be splitting up so a child doesn't have to live in your shitty relationship.

If you "don't get on", what difference will a nice living room make? You're not unreasonable to want to decorate but I really don't think it will change anything in the relationship.

The trouble is that decorating your living room is only ever going to be a short term solution. You'll walk in after it's done and see a lovely fresh room that you can sit and relax in. But if he's lazy and doesn't do anything in the house, how long will it be before the room is in a state again? But this time, you'll be down the hundreds of pounds you'll have spent decorating, which will make a big difference if you split.

This is not an environment that you should be contemplating bringing a child into. You don't like him, you've already decided that you don't want to be with him. I can't imagine that there's a particularly pleasant atmosphere at home. It's not as though he's going to turn into Mary Poppins once the baby arrives. And if you got things moving now, your child isn't ever going to know any different. So, in your position, I would be spending the weekend on Rightmove, looking at rental properties, and making lists.