To cancel DD's activities?

[EssieTregowan]

She's nearly 13.

She does riding and gymnastics, at a cost of around £200 a month.

It's becoming a chore for her every single time, although when we suggest giving them up she usually resists.

She has been doing both for around seven years and tbh I think she's progressed as far as she is likely to, the riding is very standard walk, trot, canter every week in a group of about eight. The gymnastics club tends to focus on the kids with real potential.

Neither of our boys (one older, one younger) do any clubs, partly because they're not that interested but also really because we can't afford it.

We've had a big chat today and she is now saying she'd like to give up both.

My only concern is that she'll regret it, in the same way I regret giving up riding and piano in my teens.

Should we go with our gut and cancel them, or make her carry on for her own good?

Cancel. See if she wants to try something different (and cheaper).

I think that is about the age when most children give up clubs. I would let her give them up.

Yeah that's tough. My instinct is to say cancel it, if she's not fussed.

But my parents essentially forced me to continue music lessons until I was actually very accomplished. I'm so glad they did. If it was up to me, I'd have quit long before.

Sorry I'm no help! I think if she has real talent, then persevere. If not, leave it up to her.

Maybe the ds could sign up for something now?

Maybe cancel one first? Or yes, see if she wants to try something cheaper. With horse riding, is she interested in doing more, e.g. Jumping etc?

DD has joined activities her school friends go to and enjoy - a dance class and trialling guides on 'bring a friend night' this has worked out better for us than starting things alone (fencing) which she enjoyed but reached a ceiling as she didn't want to compete.

Maybe give one up?

Cancel.
She's not got the talent for gymnastics (or so you imply), and she can take riding up again as an adult when she's earning if she wants to.
But encourage her to take something up, maybe at school as a 'twilight' activity. Not good for teens not to have some kind of activity.

If she wants to give it up I would let her. And let her brothers have a chance to do something. It's not fair on them!

You could cancel one of them or both just now, even leave it for 6 months and see how she feels. I took my 2 DC to a drama club as I think it would help them in the future with confidence, public speaking etc but they moaned about wanting to stop for a while so have stopped it now. I hope they will go back at some time in the future but not just now. Also, it seems a bit unfair that your 2 boys are unable to do anything whilst DD has 2 hobbies, also would think horse riding is quite expensive.

Give up both, how about her trying All Star Cheerleading instead of gymnastics - you compete as a team so it's more "fun" and probably cheaper!

Horses are too expensive for people who aren't really bothered and don't really want to do it. At that age, most of the horse people I know would do anything to get near them, let alone ride them - if she's considering giving up, I suspect she's not hugely bothered. And it is very commonly picked up in later life anyway (perhaps by you, one day, OP? ). They don't sound like the most fulfilling lessons anyway so I'd suggest it's not hugely beneficial to continue with them.

I'd suggest dropping one and focusing on the other, or dropping both and seeing if there's a more social and less expensive club she'd like to try (like Guides, perhaps), or another sport she'd like to experience.

I would let her give up both but tell her she could choose another activity instead. Maybe she would like something along the lines of kids/teen yoga, Zumba, hip hop, or another sport like joining a badminton group? These are likely to cost much less than riding lessons, so she could try out more than one. Or would she like music lessons?

Kids change their preferences as they grow, so it's no big deal if she gives them up for now. If it turns out that she does indeed have a burning passion for gymnastics, you could let her rejoin later.

Hope you hit on something that she loves.

Thanks all.

She could pick riding up again later, gymnastics is unlikely as there is a long waiting list.

She already does loads of other stuff, youth club, helps with the tuck shop at school, goes out for the day with friends etc. She has the busiest social life out of all of us .

I think we'll let her cancel both and maybe revisit riding later or see what else she'd rather do.