When should children be able to dress themselves?

[Mrsknackered]

I don't know if I am being too tough on him or not. He's 4 years old (turned 4 early Jan) and every morning, every night time we have the same battle.
He is so able to do most things. For example, getting his toothbrush, using the toothpaste.
Also if DP asks him to get dressed he takes quite a while but he does it, for me he doesn't at all. He cries a lot and I cave in and do it for him.
I've shown him countless times.
He is only able to put on socks.
What age should they be able to do this?

My 3.5 yr old can get himself dressed (slowly and probably not entirely correctly!) but it's such a frustrating process that I usually end up helping with it! I often get him to get his pants and socks on, and then I help with trousers and top. I generally always do his shoes as I haven't got he patience/times especially if I'm trying to get out of the house! I know this is probably counter-productive.

I'd say I'd expect NT children to pretty much be able to get themselves dressed by reception at the latest.

Is

Dd 3.7 has been able to do her pants and easy bottoms such as leggings for a good few months now and has just started having a go at tops, though it's pot luck whether she gets them the right way round! A couple of weeks ago she amazed me by putting on a complete outfit including tights with no mistakes, but so far that seems to have been a one off. Some days she really keen and has a proper try, other days she won't or prats about until I come and help (plus I do just dress her if we're in a rush, which we often are). I'm not pushing it though, there are still 6 months before she starts school which is ages in developmental terms.

My 5 yo struggles and things often end up inside out, back to front etc. Tights and socks are very difficult. It's taken years of practice - she's a slow learner.

I teach reception and I understand this is different to how it is at home.
However at this point in the year all but one (all are NT) can get change independently. They need help with button up shirts and some pinafore type dresses but otherwise ok.
Some to take an age though

DD is 3.4. A colleague made me feel bad that she couldn't do it a couple of weeks ago, and Bebe next day she asked to do it herself. She can do knickers and socks, and can do vests and tops as long as I hand them to her the right way round. She doesn't always want to.

My nephew, who is 3.7, can do it all by himself.

My dd really struggled to master this but is much better since starting school. I spent ages trying to teach her by breaking it up into steps but eventually it just clicked and she could do it all. She's NT, good reader, can ride a bike etc but for some reason really struggled to dress herself. She got there in the end though.

My nearly 2 year old can do all but pulling tights/trousers over her bum (can't figure out how to pull it up behind her, yet pants require less tugging so can do them)
She loves zipping her coat up and doing her Velcro shoes- makes getting outside a lot easier!

But my brother couldn't dress himself until 6ish, he was just worried he'd do it wrong so would rather someone else did it.

My Ds is 4. He gets very stressed and struggles a lot. Each time I ask him to put on one item of clothing himself, I'll change it to 2 soon, socks are the worst though!. He struggles more with undressing rather than dressing.

It depends on the child.
Dd1 liked to dress herself, so was dressing mostly by 2 or 3yo, but struggled with socks right up until school.
Dd2 was determined. Nothing was going to stop her. She was doing all including socks by 2yo. She struggled with zips though until she was nearly 4yo, but she's only got one hand and that was quite difficult.
Ds couldn't be bothered with this dressing stuff. He'd rather stay nude than bother with that. Just before he went to school I had to be quite fierce about him doing it. He'd still prefer for me to dress him while he gets on with stuff now, but he can do it. I very rarely help him unless he's ill though as he's 9yo.

Please don't cave and keep doing it for him!
If he can do it for your DH he can do it for you too. A reward chart may work as well as talking about preparing him for school.

Speaking from experience, It's a nightmare having children in Y1 who take 20 minutes to change into a PE kit or need help to remember which bit to do next. Especially when you're the only adult in a room of 30 5 year olds. No problem helping with buttons/tricky tights etc but I would expect most children to be able to swap trousers for shorts etc.

Also, while I'm on it, please teach them to do their own laces if they're not going to wear Velcro!

My dd is 4. She can dress herself and if I said, "Get dressed, then you have an ice-cream and week go to the park," she'd do it within seconds. She can get herself dressed when she wants to get changed a million times a day or put 3x pairs of socks on at the same time or get a dressing up outfit on. When it's first thing on a morning or last thing at night and she has to get dressed/undressed however she suddenly forgets how to do it and will whinge, wail and whine until I or dh does it for her. Every morning is a battle and it does my tits in.

It depends on the child. Dd1 could put pants, socks, trousers with poppers or elastic, t-shirt, jumper and coats on herself at 3. She needed help with tights, zips and buttons till she was almost 4. Although she was able to dress herself at 3 I still had to help if I wanted her ready within half an hour.

Ds was making a go of dressing himself at 2 as long as it was the right way out with no zips/poppers/buttons. He's been able to turn things the right way put and do poppers and zips up since 3, he could do buttons up then too but took an age so I usually did them. He's the youngest of 4 and has tended to do most things earlier than his siblings as he sees them doing things themselves and copies so learns quicker.

My newly 3 year old dresses herself, including zips. She claims tights are too tricky when I'm there but can mysteriously do them just fine when she's randomly changing her clothes during the day.

My 2-in-a few-months year old does pants, socks, trousers and shoes but gets tangled up with head jokes in tops, but gets her arms in after her head is helped. She's painfully independent though.

My dyspraxic 7 year old still can't...

Mine is four he does socks and maybe shoes if he can but he is delayed so

In my experience girls tend to get the hang of it quicker than boys (I have 2 of each) but it varies drastically child to child.

4 is probably the average, for boys anyway. If he gets dressed for your husband it shows he can do it but prefers you to. It's maybe going to be a case of digging out that mass of patience and making sure you have a spare hour before you need to be anywhere!
He'll speed up at some point, good luck with the patience thing, I feel your pain!!

Most 3yo's can dress themselves but it takes until about 4yo before they can do tights etc-getting changed for PE in reception helps a lot as they have to make the clothes the right way our first which most of them aren't used to!

DD was 4 in September. She's been able to dress herself for ages but it went downhill at the end of last year, lots of complaining, moaning, refusing to do anything herself.

I introduced a sticker chart a month ago - 5 days of doing her very best (we help if really necessary) and she gets a reward. It has revolutionised mornings, I have genuinely clawed back 15 minutes. I'm going to give it another month and then the behaviour should be embedded (I hope)

My child is 4yo5m, they can undress themselves, just about manage to take a long sleeved top off with instructions. They attempt to dress their bottom half but quite often puts things on back to front! Nowhere near close to having the coordination to put on tops and socks yet but can get their shoes on the right feet.

If you stand in the reception playground, you can tell which class had PE that day as there will be kids with shoes on the wrong foot, clothes inside out etc.
My dd was changing herself at age 2 but she was very big on dressing up so had the practice. My sons could get clothes on if they didn't involve buttons and zips. Luckily trousers for Reception boys are elastic rather than hooks and their uniform was polo shirt and sweatshirt so it didn't matter if the button was undone.

4 year old ds (turned 4 in January) can dress himself, he can do socks, underpants, trousers, vest and tshirt he finds hoodies tricky and shoes take a while but I tend to dress him myself as pps have said its quicker and gets us out the door on time!

2.5 yr old can dress herself perfectly, including t-shirts, pants, socks, shoes and buttons. Turns t-shirts from back to front inside out if needs be (parental medal, medal, medal). Can't do zips.

So I guess it can be done at that age... after that it's "doesn't want to do" or "mum/dad won't let do".

She is 3rd child tho, so thinks she's the same as her (8 and 9yr old) siblings