AIBU to be hoping for a baby in this situ?

[Hopingforbaby2017]

Three bed house, two doubles and one single.
Child 1 is 15 (girl) in the bigger room. Doesn't want another silbling, not very sociable, spends all her time in the bedroom, will be doing GCSEs next year.

Child 2 is 8 (boy) is in the small single (there is space to swap his bed for a bunk). Would love another sibling, doesn't spent much time in the bedroom would love to share with sibling.

Really don't feel like I am "done", would love another child or actually 2 more (as the age gaps so big would want two close together to keep each other company).

But AIBU? At the moment the house is perfect for us, don't want to move child 1 into the smaller room or make her feel "pushed out"? Although she already talking of leaving home at 18 to go to college in a different city (not sure how feasible that is though).

The additional child could share with us for awhile until 2/3 I really don't mind. I am planning to only go back to work part time after so it will be difficult to buy a larger property on our reduced wages. We would be ok financially if we stayed in the current house though. Just the space/bedrooms issue!! And of course we don't know if we would have boy or girl.

What would you do? Forget the entire thing, be happy with the 2 kids we have. Or go for it and work it out somehow? Husband doesn't mind and says it's up to me.

I think a lot of children share a room. mine tend to want to share, but the feeling is not always reciprocal.
B wants to share with C but C would prefer D and D thinks B would be more fun...

I don't know how we managed in the 70's when we had to share rooms and didn't get a choice!

Lots of thinking to do! If only I could have had number 3 pretty much straight after number two, but circumstances were not right (we were in two bed until child 2 was 4!)

Haha at kindergarten cop ;) we already got a cat 2 years ago with the same idea behind it and she is my baby... but here am I still contemplating...

We will need to move, extend or accept our lot I think.

Hats off to you OP as there is no fucking way you could drag me kicking & screaming back to the baby years & mine are younger than yours.
You certainly need to move or extend to add to your family though imho.

mycat It's very different having your 2yo and 3yo share from young enough they don't think of it as "my room" to the situation of a 9yo who's always had their own room having a toddler put in.

Is your daughters room big enough to divide in two? Or big enough for you and your husband to have and divide your bedroom in two?

This is what my parents did, they had a large double, moved into the smaller double and divided the bigger room into two smaller rooms. Worked fine. We didn't spend much time our rooms back them though and they moved to a bigger house before I became a stroppy teenager (loved babies though so would never have said no, nanny now!)

Me and my two sisters all shared a room (this was in 80s and 90s) there's 7 years between each of us, so at one point there was an 18 year old, 11 year old and 4 year old all in one bedroom. At 18 my older sister got a place at a local Uni so instead of moving out to halls or her own place my parents converted the loft. In terms of age difference there are 14 years between my oldest sister and youngest sister but now we are all adults that makes no difference, in fact we are super close and all our children are best of friends and we do everything together (we also have a brother whose bedroom was a tiny box room despite him being over 6ft tall and where he slept until he moved out aged 28 ) My parents just couldn't get rid of us haha!!!

Do none of posters children share rooms anymore? Fairly common to do so I'd have thought...

2 of mine used to share. Sometimes it was great. When they argued, not so much.
To me, it is less about the sharing rooms and more about potential resentment from the older dc if the OP cannot support them as they need, because she has overextended her resources.

I am currently supporting a dc through university. I have 2 more going in the next couple of years (fingers crossed that grades are okay). It is a lot if money.

Yes, saoirse my DD and DS1 shared in our first house for two years. DS2 and DS3 share now and will do until one of the other DC leave home or we win the lottery, whichever comes first.
But teens and toddlers sharing is far from ideal.

DD is taking her GCSEs next year and hopes to go to uni. Would a screaming, crying baby in the house affect her studies? Would she be able to get the peace she needs to study?

I have a cousin who had two children when her DD was older. 12 the first time, and 16 the second. I've always felt for her eldest DD, because she's been effectively shoved to the other end of the house, she has no peace and quiet, no privacy and has to go to someone else's house to study properly. She'd never openly admit that she's resentful about it, but you don't need a degree in psychology for it to be glaringly obvious.

We did it, also in a three bed house with no realistic option for extension or loft conversion. DH and I gave up our bedroom so all three of our DDs could have a bedroom each, and now sleep on a sofa bed in the living room. It's worked for us; we don't regret it. But only you know what you're prepared to do to make it work.

I think it depends very much on the personality of the children. My DD keeps coming home from uni as its too quiet and she misses the noise!

I think the most important thing is that you instinctively feel you're not done. Being older, I have a couple of friends who did the sensible thing and now really wish they'd had another.

Agree with PPs - how easy do you think it will be to study and do your best in GCSEs, AS, and A levels with screaming, not sleeping baby in the house?
Also think a dog will satisfy your mothering instincts and ALL the family will love it.
There will likely be more babies in your life - they are called grandchildren.
I know it's not done to mention the world population problem on MN.......

"Do none of posters children share rooms anymore? "

Indeed; DDs 1 and 2 slept in a bunk in our largest bedroom until they were 12 and 11, while DH and had bedroom 2, and the third was a spare room for when my parents visited. When the older girls hit their teens the need for their own space became increasingly apparent. By this time DD3 was 2, so ready to move out of our bedroom 2, and my father's health has made travelling to us infrequent, if at all, so obviating any need for a spare bedroom.

So, DD3 moved into bedroom 1, DD1 into second bedroom, DD2 into third (second and third rooms are similar size), and DH and I moved downstairs. Phew! Musical beds.

I think you know YABU in your current situation. For your DS the reality of having limited attention and having to share a room will be different to the abstract idea you broached with him. It seems very unkind to your existing children. 6 people in a 3 bed? Concentrate your time and resources on what you already have.

Siblings sharing rooms with a 2 or 3 year age gap is not the same as siblings with a 8 year age gap. I don't know how some posters can think that is at all feasible.

I also wouldn't recommend making decisions on the prospect of your eldest moving out in three years. Most young people are living at home until their mid twenties these days. That's the reality of the housing crisis.

It'd be bigger than an 8 year gap by the time the baby is actually here and sharing the room, too.

Please don't do this to your eldest DD.

I was that DD. 18 months between me and my brother, then another 10 years until Dsis. So just as I hit puberty, I was suddenly sharing a room with a baby, then toddler. It was grim.

I was supposedly the bright child, first one in the family due to go to Uni (it was a big thing back then) but at 17-18 and sharing a room with a 5 year old I just wanted to get out of the house most of the time, nowhere to study so I failed my a-levels and left home at 18 to work at a live-in job. Bedrooms were then juggled so that when I went home for weekends I ended up sleeping in the family caravan parked in the drive, or staying with friends. I still feel resentful and pushed out now, some 35 years later, and I don't think my relationship with my parents ever really recovered.

PS a-level failing was not down to ability. A couple of years later I had the chance to re-do them at college day-release - passed 4 with decent grades

hotfuzzed mine choose to. Two sisters, 9 year gap. Age 21 and 12. Both could share with one closer in age but don't want to.

Just personal choice but I would only want another if I could pay for the first twos university costs. But finances can be hard to know for sure about. Meh, if you really want another, have another. I'm sure the bedrooms can be worked out.

Do you have a second reception that could be converted to a bedroom? Or, as previously suggested, is a loft conversion feasible?

I'm probably the wrong person to advise as I've never wanted more than 2 children so that feeling of not being "done" is completely alien to me! I certainly wouldn't want an age gap that big and you've said yourself it's not ideal based on your first experience, hence wanting a 4th too! You don't say how old you are but, chances are, you won't be as fertile as you were 8 years ago so may have difficulty having a third, let alone a fourth. Remember also, the risk of complications or having a baby with disabilities increases with age.

Sorry if this all sounds rather negative but you did ask! I think in your circumstances I'd be grateful for the children I already have and enjoy a relatively easy life (I am by nature quite lazy though )