AIBU not to be offended by this - wedding money one

[justnowords]

Im not offended. Im seriously tickled though at the sheer brass balls of the request. Its not even a wedding, its actually just the engagement party but bride to be has posted "For all those who are coming tomorrow and don't know what to get us we don't want presents we want money towards the wedding". I think I shall most likely give money seeings that whats she's asked for but she's brave asking as I assume other people might get uptight about these sorts of things.

I hate people who have engagement parties! self-indulgent pricks! even more so if people request gifts! If you cant afford your wedding that's soooo not my issue! I've never taken a gift to an engagement party, I just take a card. I obviously give cash or presents when I attend their weddings. I also hate having to take presents to baby showers because I always feel I should take presents when I then meet the new baby!

I got a small blue hand towel and a glass dish in the shape of a fish.

Never heard of an 'engagement present'. Bring a bottle, maybe.

I'm pretty much never offended by gift lists or requests but I didn't realise you were meant to give presents for engagement parties??! I'd just bring a nice bottle of wine.

Engagement presents? WTF?

Bollocks, I never had an engagement party. I've been married 16 years, is it too late?

Never heard of an 'engagement present'.

I have. Frequently.

Does this mean I'm U or non U? 😕

i wouldnt buy an engagement gift, tbh i didnt realise people still had engagement parties, its all a bit grabby.
i dont mind giving money as a wedding present though, id rather stick 20 quid in a card than traipse around debenhams for a set of glasses

I'm all for engagement parties, although I'd be embarrassed to have one after two previous failed engagements.

But asking for money for the wedding? No way. Gifts aren't to be expected at engagement parties.

Okay then
I thought engagement parties died out in the 80's.
What if you give and they don't invite you to the wedding?

We had an engagement party - no gifts expected or given, though GMIL gave us an enormous pan which I have only replaced today, as it happens. We were students, as were nearly all our friends, so it was a BYOB house party affair with Iceland beige buffet and people kipping on sofas and floors in our house share. Good times.

A card and maybe a bottle. But cash?

I've been to engagement parties where a wedding didnt happen before.

I wouldn't be upset or offended - I would LAUGH lots though.

They could have at least had the d clench to put it in to a quirky poem!

D clench? Decency!

I wouldn't turn up to a party without a gift and I don't know anyone that would. I consider money to be a godsend.

I wouldn't give something that may just end up in a charity shop, or a bottle of something that they may not drink.

But then I generally really like everyone whose party/wedding etc that I go to.

I think that we should all be thinking about our buying of 'stuff' that isn't needed, it's killing the planet, not to mention a waste of money.

This kind of thing really doesn't bother me as it makes my life easier. Having an engagement party the third time you get engaged is a brass neck though

I wouldn't turn up to a party without a gift and I don't know anyone that would.

Well of course not, but flowers, wine, chocolates, etc, not a cheque.

"This is her second or third engagement but will be her first wedding"

Eh?

How do you know she won't call this one off too?

I don't think engagement parties are grabby, since no one expects guests to bring gifts (other than what one might often bring to a party, so maybe flowers or a bottle of wine).

I'm now wondering if I've been to some grabbily-intended engagement parties and been totally oblivious to the fact that people were expecting presents!