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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think workmen should plan their toilet breaks better?

192 replies

rockcake · 23/02/2017 21:56

I don't think I've ever had a workman come to the house who hasn't asked to use the loo. Happens every time.

For the last 10 days I've had neighbours' workmen in and out as it's been helpful to them to have scaffolding built in our garden - they're on the 3rd floor - which is fair enough. They've all been as unobtrusive as possible and not asked to use the loo until two particularly scuzzy men turned up to remove the scaffolding today. No sooner were they through the door than one asked to use the loo, so I grudgingly said ok.... dd told me 5 mins later that someone's not flushed their wee - no guesses who - so I flushed it for him.

They're about to leave when I see workman 1 directing workmen 2 to the loo, so I said "make sure you flush it please, your mate didn't...."

Workmen left looking sheepish - but Aibu to think workmen generally should try and use public loos whenever possible? I live in a busy street with 2 cafes only yards away and I always want to direct workmen there, but never summon the nerve to say it.

Am I a wimp - or just not very nice for HATING workmen using my bathroom? Even though I go in with the wipes and the bleach afterwards it still makes me cringe.

What do you do?

OP posts:
AyeAyeFishyPie · 25/02/2017 20:44

Not flushing - he was BU
The rest of your post? YABU. Give your head a wobble.

beeblebroxx · 25/02/2017 20:59

I dont understand why people feel the need to be so aggressive to the OP, why use lines like "Im not a twat" Ive just wobbled my head, as I have similar dislike to people using my loo....does wobbling do any good?

welshmist · 25/02/2017 21:11

Architects write it into your contract now, you have a legal obligation if they are working in your home.

AyeAyeFishyPie · 25/02/2017 21:22

Beeble: people are cross because it's actually massively insulting. The suggestion that a workman is some how lower than you. Assuming they clean up after themselves etc, what makes your arse better than theirs?
There is also the constant obsession on here with cleanliness and germs. Why on earth would anyone need to bleach straight after someone using their loo? It smacks of snobbery and classism

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 25/02/2017 21:30

Are you my friends mum from 20yrs ago? I used to have to walk home to go wee wee (5 doors away so not miles).

BeBeatrix · 25/02/2017 21:41

There must be a lot of people with very dodgy bowels is all i can say. Poo doesn't have to be released at the first urge. It can be held back

Sure. But not necessarily all day, especially not if people have a journey home of an hour or more.

SoupDragon · 25/02/2017 22:41

Why, because some people are unwilling to let strangers into their homes, Soupy?

People have leapt from workmen to random strangers. They are not the same thing. This thread was about workmen, not strangers.

SoupDragon · 25/02/2017 22:41

people are cross because it's actually massively insulting. The suggestion that a workman is some how lower than you. Assuming they clean up after themselves etc, what makes your arse better than theirs?

This, absolutely.

SoupDragon · 25/02/2017 22:43

why use lines like "Im not a twat"

Because only a twat would begrudge a workman in their home access to a toilet.

SoupDragon · 25/02/2017 22:47

Because I'm not a twat' - maybe not soup but you are self righteous, which is just as bad. Topic isn't how nice we are to workmen by letting them charge phones etc - I do that too - its about (some) strangers thinking it's ok to use facilities when they're clearly NOT desperate, then not treating with respect

So why ask "what do you do?" then? I said what I do. There is nothing self righteous about thinking that denying a workman access to toilet facilities is twattish. Do you go in to the toilet with bleach and wet wipes when anyone uses your toilet or is it just workmen that you think disgustingly dirty?

Original poster
rockcake · 25/02/2017 22:55

Did I say all workmen are disgustingly dirty?

OP posts:
beeblebroxx · 26/02/2017 00:54

.....what makes your arse better than theirs?

where did I say my arse is better than anyone's? and you have the nerve to accuse people of being insulting! proved my point about being aggressive perfectly, thank you.

beeblebroxx · 26/02/2017 01:05

Also...AyeAyeFishyPie, some people cant help being worried about germs and it has nothing to do with snobbery or classism, certain medical conditions that have a physical or biological cause as well as mental illnesses cause anxiety, not necessarily obsession. Please can you and SoupDragon bear that in mind when you either accuse them of being a insulting, a snob or a twat!

StealthPolarBear · 26/02/2017 07:02

Rockcake I think plenty have missed the point that he wasn't working on your house and therefore he was a passer by as far as you were concerned.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 26/02/2017 08:03

As someone with debilitating OCD about toilet/bodily waste germs it's very offensive to be called a snob/classist for anxiety i cannot control. At one point i not only had to bleach the toilet but scrub my hands with a nailbrush and neat bleach after the loo. Germ phobia/anxiety is very real, just because you are lucky enough not to be affected by it doesn't make people who are affected snobs, classist (whatever that means) or anything else negative.
I have a major daily anxiety battle using the loo and with my dad using it too, forever worrying he'll accidentally splash the seat or worse, the floor, even when i know hes super careful because of my illness. Wiping the floor all round the loo and the seat is a must before i use it, as is lid down to flush, disinfectant spray to use on the taps after being turned on so no germs transfer when turning them off and a ton of other stuff.

It rules my life, and no way could anyone else use our loo, can't have workmen in to fix things as they have shoes on, don't know if they are hand washers etc, so we have a broken boiler for over 8 years so no hot water from taps or heating, broken gas fire, bathroom window so rotted about to fall out. I never have visitors, haven't for 7 years, as other people just can't use the loo. I'd honestly probably struggle with my sister using it, and she only moved out 5 years ago and has the same germ phobias as me.

So stop and think before you judge people with germ/cleanliness anxiety, and make nasty remarks about us, it can be an actual life controlling illness not just being finicky.

topcat2014 · 26/02/2017 08:08

Cafe's do not exist to provide toilets to non-customers OP.

Have you considered it might be awkward for the builders to only have the option to ask.

Of course there is the possibility that they could announce that the 'stuck up customer at number 5' won't let them use theirs.

So perhaps you need to not use the Cafe yourself in future.

As for commenting to worker 2 about worker 1 - you do realise that these people are not generic clones but actual individuals.

In no way am I responsible for anyone elses toilet habits - even if I am working with them.

StealthPolarBear · 26/02/2017 08:11

Private houses do not exist to provide toilet facilities to passers by.

Original poster
rockcake · 26/02/2017 09:34

Not entirely sure what your point is topcat - sorry

But yes, am def guilty of being squeamish about strangers using toilet- especially when they clearly aren't bothered about personal hygiene.... also admit to being irked by number of workmen who want to use loo when they're only at house for a very short time - everyone from man reading meter to plumber replacing part in cistern, which took 5 mins

(Produces anti bac wipe to use as white flag and backs away from thread.....)

OP posts:
AyeAyeFishyPie · 26/02/2017 10:58

I forgot that common sense disappears on MN for some people. I forgot that I need to write a disclaimer after every sentence saying excluding those with actual conditions. But sure - go ahead, take offence and pretend that what I was sharing is conditions like that don't exist. Gosh it's hard work on here.

And I wasn't being remotely aggressive. You asked why people were getting upset. I explained. If you have problems with workmen using your toilet then the question is what separates them from the other people that assuredly use it too.

StealthPolarBear · 26/02/2017 11:11

Presumably the other people are either guests at the ops house or people who have been asked to come and work inside or outside the house.
that's the separation that I see - fairly clear imo.

notme23 · 26/02/2017 11:37

Ugh I hate this. We once had someone in painting who had worked with DH on some projects before and I was tidying up upstairs while they got on with it. Just came out of the bathroom after giving it a good clean when one of them went in to use it. Came back up after him and he had left the toilet FULL of skiddies - never seen so many in my life!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/02/2017 12:40

@topcat2014 - it is the OP's neighbour that is the customer, not @rockcake herself. They are putting scaffolding on her property, with her permission, but this doesn't make her the customer, so your comment suggesting they'd call her the 'stuck up customer from number 5' is rather nasty.

She didn't actually have any responsibility to let them use her loo, because they are not working for her - the fact that she did was kind on her part, and the fact that they didn't leave it clean and tidy, as they found it, and in one case did not flush, is unacceptable behaviour from them.

Personally, I don't have a problem with letting workmen working in my house use my loo - I might feel different if I had had an unpleasant experience with some of them leaving the loo full of skids or splashes of wee everywhere, but luckily for me, that has not been my experience.

All the workmen who have used my loo have left it clean, tidy and not stinky - and that includes the moving men who moved us from Essex to Scotland. Having driven up the previous day, and slept in the lorry, they asked if they could use our bathroom for a wash before they set off for the marathon drive back - I said they could have showers, and handed them towels. You wouldn't have known they had been in there - but they had used the loo during the day and left that clean and tidy too, so I trusted them to do the same in the shower.

Mind you - one did forget his work boots, so dh chased the lorry and caught up with it not too far away!

expatinscotland · 26/02/2017 12:40

'This thread was about workmen, not strangers.'

Workman who she did not hire. So, to her, strangers. Randoms who ask to use the toilet, be they workmen or the PM or Hugh Jackman, it's a random person asking to come into her home and use the toilet.

Booshbeesh · 26/02/2017 13:02

But her hoise wasnt there place of work. They was working on a neighbours house. She was being helpful.letting them set up scaffolding in HER garden. I would have directed them to neughbours house.

StealthPolarBear · 26/02/2017 13:57

These people who will let anyone use their bathroom are effectively just running public toilets. Would be handy to have them on a website somewhere so you know where you can visit when out and about.