We have one child each born 15 days apart. He's very competitive -always, I'm not even a tiny bit competitive, especially where kids are concerned , for example I remember clearly all miles stones of kids achieved at similar-ish times, (phew! I thought , no negative comparisons) but he will insist on telling me casually in conversation that ( for example) his son walked at one but I have the video he braggingly sent me on my phone of his daughters first steps at 14 months.- why bullshit massage truth?? He popped round and made clever comments about my TV being on because his child is under 3 and not allowed TV ( but I know for a fact his 2.9 year old watches frozen and knows all the songs) he tells me his kids are sleeping trough the night but later his wife drops him in it by saying they were up twice last night!!... Ok, that's the trivial stuff I can handle/ laugh off...but when I lived with him 12 years ago when we were both at uni in the same town it got so bad he repeatedly hit me on two occasions and was mentally unpleasant the rest of the time. Going non contact crossed my mind when our remaining parent died two years ago and he was very abusive in emails and texts and calls during that time (which I was distraught about but forgave him due to him handling grief/ stress badly ) now our relationship is acceptable, my oh can't stand him and will only tolerate him now and again to keep me happy. He never compliments, never acknowledges any success I may have, lots of very clever put downs and negative remarks that only fully sink in when he's gone and I then take a week to calm down and stop the pretend arguments in my head ( where I stun him with my awesome witty retort) I only see him every two months or so, I will definitely not go n.c because our kids adore each other, his wife is sweet and adores him too, and he mostly behaves himself, please can you share ideas / tips for minimising the week after each visit where I have low esteem, doubt my parenting choices and am wound up and can only talk in my head because my oh won't allow him to pollute our home environment , phew... Thanks for letting me get that of my chest