So i'm the step mother to 2 children, DSD 9 and DSS 11, I also have DD 10 who lives with me and DH, my step children stay with us 2 nights a week. Their mother does modelling on the side, a fair bit of which is not suitable for work NSFW - I just learnt that! It's very easy to find on the internet even though she goes by various character names. She did take them off her personal FB page and just had them on her modelling FB page, which she uses a different name altogether on but is using the surname of my DH which personally I think is a bit cheeky. It was created after they divorced, in fact she is heading towards divorce #2 and has photos of her new BF on there, so it's still in active use.
Anyway, when you search her various names in Google, her photos come up and inbetween those are photos of the kids, not entirelly sure what control she can have over that but her IG and Twitter accounts are full of pictures of revealling/topless/sexual photos and inbetween she is uploading photos of the kids when they were babies or current photos in their school uniforms for example, with their names embroidered on the front and school emblem. That worries me as she has to block people who she describes as obsessed, she also gets weird requests such as worn panties or to do certain poses for people who have certain fetishes and yes fetish is one of the styles she goes for along with burlesque, lingerie, splashed yoghurt and smeared fruit, you catch my drift. She is in her early 30's a plus size model which she takes pride in being but then also loathes herself for it and would love to be slimmer. My DH never ever takes delight in me opening the door to her in my tight fitting clothes with size 6 waist while she stands there in baggy jumpers looking like she got dressed in charity shop in the dark. I don't know, maybe the homeless look is in this season and every season.
She leaves them home alone and DSS (the oldest) is being tested for SEN, sleeps with the light on, talks to himself constantly. He was sat in the next room and the kitchen was on fire - she was home before you panic, but was upstairs in the shower so a neighbour had to knock and tell her the house was on fire. Small fire she dealt with herself, caused by clothes falling onto a tealight. Got no proof but my thoughts are my DSS who is clumsy and always knocking things over who has hand eye co-ordination issues may have been involved without realising, we will never know. I don't know how long she leaves them for, they walk home from school to another village which would take them about 20 minutes at the most, they may be home half an hour before she gets in, I don't know if it's longer, the kids generally cover for her.
DSD is also obese, the kids have school lunches so it could be pizza, burgers etc daily then at morning break she alternates between a sausage sandwich and chocolate milk. She often chooses chocolate milk at lunch time. I don't know if mum classes that as a hot meal and gives them sandwiches at teatime, I know that is sometimes the case. They never eat a meal together anyway she has always cooked the kids a separate meal and she eats later. She lets the kids eat and drink what they want and we give them water, fruit, limit desserts, so we are the bad ones and mum is amazing giving the treats. DSS was also overweight but he has less of a sweet tooth, also put himself on a bit of a diet by saying no to things and he also had a growth spurt so is fine now. DSD who is 9 has to wear a mens size medium belt to keep her ladies size 12 trousers up as the size 10 was too tight.
Their mother works weekends and stays with her new BF in his flat which has 1 bedroom. They sleep on the sofa and DSD and DSS share a double bed. The new BF looks after the kids while she is out. She goes away for a few nights with her new BF regularly and the kids don't know where she has gone or for how long and it's only through social media we discover she has gone abroad-again.
Generally at their mothers house, school letters aren't read never mind signed, diary isn't looked at and DSS gets quite a few comments from his teacher due to no homework or diary not being signed, he had 30 negative comments from his teachers last year. DSD who is bright and very compliant has started getting comments for no homework too. One bit of which is a test with questions that need to be read out by an adult and timed, we found out DSS had to do it as mum wasn't home and she had already got wrong for it not being done. It is only because we step in to sort all the school things out that the school aren't complaining about there being any issues. She however thinks she can take all the credit for the kids, particularly at parents evening and the only reason she has an appointment was because I pushed DH to intervene and arrange it. DSS hides parents evening letters.
It has taken months and months to get any help with DSS and his problems, she has ignored them too long and it was only due to a teacher pushing for him to get help for his SATS that anything is being done. She sits with letters for ages not arranging appointments or appointments get made and she forgets or doesn't read the letter properly and misses it, it is a saga in itself. The kids get dropped off with us and often don't have coats or p.e. kits because her life is so chaotic, always taking on more than she can handle. She is a student so is busy Mon-Fri, then working all weekends. The kids are missing her as she is so busy all the time but solves it by buying presents and feeding them treats but always has time for the modelling which she isn't always paid for, she is building her portfolio. We step in to help a lot with extra childcare, sort the school stuff, we do what we can to make her less stressed but it's never appreciated.
There is so much more I could say, we deal with so many issues. But that gets us started. AIBU, am I just a judgy pants???? Is it acceptable to have your nipples on show photos next to photos of your kids.
She is studying to be a social worker BTW