handing over contraceptive

[FledglingFTB]

So it's been 15 years of me pumping my body full of hormones and god knows what... I've had enough and I need a break.

I've got no idea what my cycle is, where I am in it or what is a normal period for me. Numerous invasive procedures, gained weight, been at my lowest points, anxiety over keeping up to date, medical appts. Pills, injections, implants- you name it! I feel completely out of touch with own body and I'm so tired of thinking about it.

I've talked the above through with DP and said I want to stop everything entirely and just hand over the responsibility. If he wants to DTD, then he best make sure we're covered.

DP: "Of course, I totally understand is it because you want a baby?"

AIBU or am I just speaking a different language?!

Hang on. He is saying he gets it. He is also asking if you want a baby.

Just tell him yes or no.

If he wants to DTD, then he best make sure we're covered. - you might want to partake in some responsibility though seeing as it's you who'll be dealing with a pregnancy if he doesn't make sure you're covered.....

YANBU though. I'm currently pregnant with DC2 and I have told my DH that he's getting a vasectomy because after 18 years of being full of hormones and going through unpleasant procedures to ensure "I'm covered" I've now bloody had enough of it

I tend to think both parts of a couple are responsible for contraception. He says he'll take care of it, so I guess that's fair enough, but personally I wouldn't want to let someone else take the responsibility, being that I'm the one that has to deal with a potential pregnancy.

To be clear this isn't a direct vent about DP. his immediate reaction was yes, of course. I think I'm really frustrated at the societal expectations and the pressures put on females as the womb owners... we can't make babies solo though

NapQueen I know he said yes, I think it's his lack of understanding of the faff and body trauma. Having a baby is the last thing on my mind, but that's the first thing that makes sense to him. I have physical scars from contraceptive protection, that's a bit mental isn't it?

Writer Why should I? Many long-term partners share absolutely no responsibility for this... why can't I just have a break?

OP - you can have a break. It was meant light hearted as in, "You still might want to check he's actually put the condom on" though, just for your own piece of mind

I am very of you both being the snip talk stage Writer

My dh had a vasectomy last month and I'm really looking forward to stopping taking the pill in a few months. February is the shortest month, yet I've already had 2 periods this month!

My dh had a vasectomy last month and I'm really looking forward to stopping taking the pill in a few months. February is the shortest month, yet I've already had 2 periods this month!

I said the same to dh. I also told him that I would happily have another baby if it happened but I'd had enough of chemicals. He opted for a vasectomy rather than condoms.

It probably helps that DH is 200% adamant that he doesn't want any more children. I've told him I don't either but I think he's scared that I'm going to change my mind so wants to get the Snip ASAP

To everything you've just said, my answer is condoms. I have always used them, bar a brief try of the pill. I've always checked they are in tact after dtd and I've never accidentally conceived.

All that bollocks about loss of sensation...men would really know what this meant if women refused to sleep with them without one.

Dh had a vasectomy too.

The pill didn't agree with me & hated the thought of the coil.

He was back at work three days later (he had a physical job but if it had been a desk one he could've been there the following day)