To Be A Bit Hurt By This?

[zukiecat]

I should start by saying I don't make a fuss about my birthday and don't expect presents or cards, but I was 50 very recently and no-one even wished me a Happy Birthday at work, but hey ho

However it is a colleague's Birthday today ( not a special one) and I've come in today and there's cards, presents, cakes and the staff canteen has been decorated for her

AIBU in being a bit hurt or am I just being daft?

Happy birthday!

Good advice from lizzard re. make sure people don't get left out in future.

It's probably one of those things where a certain couple of people knew about this colleague's birthday & they were the ones proactive enough to do anything about it. You can have 15 people know about your birthday & it wouldn't matter if they weren't that kind of "let's have a party!" person, even with the best intentions. It's just that not everyone is wired that way.

Be positive, how about you say "that was so nice what was done for x colleague, how about we get a birthday calendar and everyone can mark theirs so we do that every time there's a birthday?" Get all colleagues to fill it in & then make sure you enlist a couple of people to help you get stuff together for each birthday. It'll probably make the atmosphere more pleasant & break up the cliqueness (a bit, anyway)

You need to be more forthright, I wod have taken a cake, and said something like, shame you did not remember my 40 birthday.

I couldn't just take a cake Aeroflot, I don't have the confidence to do that

There are nicer people at work, but everyone does different shifts so I often find myself with these three women

Good idea though about knowing when the next one is, and making something of it so no-one has to feel left out or ignored

Oh zuki its just the three, don't expect anything from them, they probably meet outside work and are very clicky anyway. Just ignore them. Did you celebrate your birthday after work? Happy belated birthday by the way, hope you had lots of and at home .

You do not need their wanky cake Zukie. You are better than that. Happy Birthday.

Thankyou Aeroflot

Yes my DDs spoiled me at home, I had a lovely day apart from having to go to work

You're right, it is just the three of them, they were discussing plans for their next night out which I am not invited to, don't think I'd want to go anyway even if they did ask me

Thankyou everyone for your kind wishes and making me see it's just them, and not me!

Happy belated birthday!!

We had a 50th at work recently and nothing was said or done. There was a 30th about a month later. I opened up and the office was decked out. Really pissed me off and I thought it was nasty to the other person. I took everything down apart from the fluff on her desk.

My work was a bit like this. Department of 9 people. All birthdays written on wall planner in office. No one so much as wished me happy birthday on mine. All other staff that year a card was bought and signed by whole department.
When someone went on mat leave or became a new dad we did a collection and got a card and baby present.
When I went on mat leave I got nothing, not even a card. I was pretty hurt tbh and just stopped contributing to gifts after that.

Good on you Hunter, are you the supervisor? That is very nasty, it shoukd be done to all.

Thank you Hunter

I must say though that I was very ill in hospital in summer 2015, and once I got home I was off for a further three months

Only one lady, who has since left, ever bothered to visit me, or send a get well card or even ask me how I was, I was pretty hurt by that too

I'm still friends with that one person and we see each other outside of work

YANBU! My colleagues basically ignored my 30th birthday (despite me mentioning it a loooot of times!). I was gutted, especially as I had over the years paid out a small fortune in contributions to other people's birthday gifts. I was finally given a card and a small bunch of flowers a couple of weeks later, when we all went out for a farewell meal for another colleague. She was showered with gifts, and we all chipped in for her meal. From then on I only ever chipped in the odd pound for other people. Petty maybe, but it is hurtful.