Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To ask how you all put your babies to bed?

41 replies

MooMooTheFirst · 21/02/2017 17:18

DS is 9 mo and I've never left him overnight. DP has asked me to think about going away for two nights over Easter, just the two of us. I'd like to go but I'm a bit nervous about leaving him... even though he will be with both sets of grandparents! Largely because I'm the only one that's ever put him to bed and, as such, I've always just laid with him and fed him to sleep.

How does everyone else do it? I want to make sure he is alright if I do decide to go!

OP posts:

Babybubblescomingsoon · 22/02/2017 16:14

Have grandparents over to watch one evening of put down, and then maybe have them for another evening where they do it themselves but you're in the house in case it doesn't work? Can't you ask your DP to try putting him down one evening and see how he copes with someone different, but still familiar?

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 22/02/2017 16:21

How do i put my children to bed? Hpstairs, bath, pjs, milk, toilet, story, downstairs, child2 follows me down, take
Him back up, he argues, follows me back down, cries, shouts, follows me again, demands supper, a drink, a cuddle, a masssage, follows me again, eventually falls a sleep in my bed and i drink and drink and drink.

Im sure your baby will be fine op.

Pinkheart5915 · 22/02/2017 16:31

Try 1 night fairly local hopefully you will enjoy it and grandparents and baby will be happy too then you can look at going further.

DS is now 17 months but his stayed with grandparents many times since about 4 months old, for 1-2 nights. They do the same routine as us dinner, bath, story, cuddle then bed. He doesn't have milk before bed anymore As he won't drink it before bed but when I was breastfeeding I expressed and he took a bottle as long as my top was wrapped around the bottle without any problems.

Baby dd is now 6 months and again she has stayed with grandparents since About 4 months, and they do as we do dinner, bath, story/cuddle and then she has a bottle of expressed milk. Dd only wakes twice a night and goes back to sleep once she's had milk with no problem.

We all like to think our children couldn't survive without us but most babies are fine for a night or two.

NapQueen · 22/02/2017 16:36

Mine since days old had a bath, feed, into pjs, story then swaddled (til about 5m, grobag then til about 2yo) and left in their cots (with us for the first few months on their own after that). Dc1 had no cot mobile but did have a dummy. Dc2 no mobile either, no dummy, had a spft muslin square he would rub on his face.

They are 5y3m and 2y5m and both go to bed same time same room awake and having had some supper. Lights off after a story and left.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 22/02/2017 16:40

Defiantly go for a local night first and enjoy yourself, most babies are fine when left despite how much we worry.

My dd is 6 months and has stay with my parents & in laws a few times for 1 night while me and dh have a night out ( meal, few cocktails) and we have been away to a couple of hotels as well.

They do the same as me and dh offer some milk, she will take an expressed bottle if my vest is wrapped around it ( a lady on her gave me that tip) and then put her in cot and walk away! She does wake 3-4 times in the night but settles quick once fed.

knaffedoff · 22/02/2017 16:52

Personally I couldn't leave grandparents to do a bedtime when I was the only person who had done it previously. I would get my partner to start helping with the bedtime routine, only if that went well would I then consider an overnight more locally (not Europe).

Craigie · 22/02/2017 17:04

Feed him, put him in bed awake but sleepy, leave him to fall asleep. At 9 months, and on regular solids, he's more than capable of this and of sleeping right through. Grandparents know what they're doing, they've done it all before.

Kathdarville · 22/02/2017 17:54

Never any laying. Takes far too long and eats into what little evening time i have. So its dinner, bed, bath, story, lights out. They get used to it fast

Aliveinwanderland · 22/02/2017 17:57

4 month old- bath, feed on my bed. Burb. Put in crib, sometimes drowsy but usually awake. Put in dummy, turn on white noise and go downstairs. Occasionally go back up to put dummy back in if needed.

squizita · 22/02/2017 21:20

I breastfed to bed till well past 1. However I did realise that she napped in day care ... so I got dh to copy their routine before bed and it worked! Now she still has bf with me (she's 2 and 5 months) but can settlE for others.
However if she wakes in the night it has to be a parent. 2 1/2 hours of screaming my mum handed her back grey after we went out late-late and she woke! So we're good for a meal out but not a weekend away.
We don't even do much more than shh pat when she wakes ... but it MUST be us. Grr.

squizita · 22/02/2017 21:24

Craigie no not all 9 month olds are capable of a whole night without waking. They might be capable of not freaking out and self soothing instead but (especially as most adults don't actually sleep solidly for 8 hours) it is more an "expectation" set by society's desire for an alert working mum or a SAHM eager to have her second which gave rise to the myth that it's right/the only way.

Light and heavy adult sleepers all eat: being weaned means nothing.

Lazyafternoon · 22/02/2017 21:24

There has to be a first time at some point. It'll be fine.

At that age it was bath, bottle, song and bed. A couple of minutes back rubbing to get him to sleep. Ideally asleep by 7 - 7.30
I was never into laying with him to go to sleep, so did try and train him up for drop and run as early as I could. I'm too greedy and starving hungry by that time and eager to get back down to eat my dinner!

squizita · 22/02/2017 21:30

IRL (and my mates are all way less crunchy than me) I don't know anyone who has done an abroad without kids break before 3 years old. Honestly don't.
Lots in the uk ... but that feels different iyswim.

Will the gp be on board for abroad? Will it be stressful?

HiDBandSIL · 22/02/2017 21:44

Why make yourself do it if you don't want to? Europe will still be there in a few years probably.

Original poster

MooMooTheFirst · 23/02/2017 00:15

Someone upthread who said they think men don't really understand... my DP definitely doesn't! He's been away on holidays and working away etc from me and DS and I asked him once if he worries. He said no of course not, why would I? And it's the same if we leave him with gp for a few hours a day. I remember saying 'I worry that he will cry' and DP said 'but we aren't there so we don't have to deal with it.'

I don't over worry if I'm not with DS (which hasn't happened very often) I don't think I'm overly anxious... but I do think about him all the time and I do worry.

DP does share the bedtime routine but hasn't ever been the one to put him to sleep iyswim? So he will Bath him, take him upstairs, pyjamas on, story etc but I always come up and feed him and then he's asleep.

As an aside, I didn't do that on purpose. I remember one day I took him upstairs when he was very little... at 8 weeks ish... and just lay down to feed him because it was more comfortable for us both. He fell asleep and I transferred him to his cot as an experiment and he slept the whole night through!

He does also still wake. He won't settle even for DP when he does, only for me.

I don't want to leave him. Maybe over the next 7 weeks he will improve and sleep through and if so (and it's consistent) I will think about somewhere for Easter in the uk for a night.

OP posts:

LittleLionMansMummy · 23/02/2017 03:57

Bath, sleepsuit, breastfeed in quiet dark room, burp and cuddle, zip into grobag and down awake if possible. Sometimes I'll feed dd and then pass her over to dh to burp and settle while I read to ds (6) and kiss him goodnight. I've occasionally asked dh or dsis to give her a bottle of expressed milk just to make sure others are able to settle her if necessary and that she continues to take a bottle. She's 12 weeks so hasn't developed habits yet and with another older child in the house who also needs attention I can't afford to allow them.

Flip

1 2