to be envious of strong women

[dreamreckless]

and wish I was one? Would you say you were a strong woman, and have you always been so?

I think I can come across as a "strong" woman. I go into survival mode when faced with shit situations and don't appear to panic. I am a single mum but don't generally mention it. I will go to the village pub by myself...and drink pints of Guinness.

Reality in my head is quite different!

I am a resilient woman. But that doesn't mean you're not bloodied, just unbowed. Life still shits all over you as much as the next person.

Exactly this Elspeth

there are different types of strong, physically - certainly doesn't apply to me, confident - no not really find it hard to say what I want or think, and constantly worry about what might happen.

Having said that I have been to hell and back over the last 10 years and honestly didn't think I would get through it, but when you are at that point you absolutely have to be strong, there was no choice my dc were depending on me, they were my reason to be strong. Now despite not being what I would define as a strong person, I would consider myself to be independent and capable.

I think I'm strong about some things and weak about others. Isn't everybody?

you can be the strongest woman, carrying a family with huge problems, but appear very shy and scared of confrontation.

you can be highly successful, in a "lads environment" but unable to cope with anything life throws at you.

You just work on your own weaknesses I guess.

I'm very (probably too..) strong, fiery, articulate and never afraid to stand my ground against a man whether verbally or say in the car against ignorant road rage idiots.

People often tell me that I am strong. Perhaps that's something I project. They don't see me in my blackest moments, so maybe their perception is skewed. I get on with things because I have to.

I will cop to brave, because someone once defined bravery to me as "not a lack of fear - but being afraid and doing it anyway".

I am shy, sensitive and not particularly assertive, although improving. However I certainly consider myself strong.

I think it is because I rely on myself more than I rely on anyone else and I know that I will be able to pull myself through any situation.

bulletjournal you summed it up really well for me.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Men too. I guess I'm uncomfortable with the implication that women are weak by default, and "strong" women are a sort of exception.

Not that there's anything wrong with identifying your weaknesses and trying to improve upon them. Bit some of the posts on this thread where posters are putting themselves down because they feel they don't fit some poorly-defined template of a "strong woman" are a bit depressing.

I'm yet to meet a women who isn't strong because usually there is no choice especially when children are involved. There are times in our lives when we don't feel particularly strong and we don't act in that manner and we may need some help and support, it does not remove our personal strength. Being loud, confident, successful, a fighter of your corner does not make you any stronger than the quiet, shy, reserved women, waiting for her opening in the conversation.Both are probably carrying all sorts on their shoulders and doing the doing the best they can, that is what I'd call a strong woman.

I'm a strong woman and not afraid to say so. It honestly amazes and saddens me the amount of crap women seem to put up with, especially from romantic partners.

No man's ever been given the chance to treat me badly twice.

There are times when being "strong" is the wrong thing to do

When trying to manage an abusive partner, for example

The best course of action is to walk away/leave

When I think what is a strong person, I think of this quote.

Women are like teabags. You don't find out how strong they are until you put them in hot water.

I think people might describe me as strong because I've survived abuse, alcoholic parent, multiple bereavements including both birth and adoptive parents, hideously painful breakup (think left at the alter) and generally manage to keep on keeping on with a career, relationship, home etc.

As has been said, maybe resilient is the better word. And I guess I always have been because I've always had to be.

On the other hand I'm sensitive, emotional and not as assertive as I'd like to be. Whilst I may not fall apart or struggle in really obvious ways, I still have my demons, ways of trying to self destruct and so on. I'm trying to deal with them in healthy ways these days - meds, therapy, and I think there's strength in that. That's taken a while. I also think as I've got older I've gained the strength to do my own thing, know my own worth and don't put up with bad relationships- that takes constant work and wasn't something I always felt.

I have spent my life with very low self confidence and generally thinking I'm a bit pathetic.

However, I found a way to end an abusive relationship and get my children somewhere safe. I left with what I could get in my car. I had £30 in my bank account and no job. A few years later, I work full time, am raising 2 great DCs by myself and live free from fear.

Being strong is not a state of mind IMO. It's what you do.

What do you mean by strong? Career driven, no nonsense person?

I am shy, hate confrontation. I battle through life every day. But I'm not just strong, I'm a fucking warrior, I've been to hell and back, think Rotherham sexual exploitation..

What kind of strength do you wish you had op? Maybe you do and you just need to find it.

I consider myself a strong woman. To me that means getting through shit situations with optimism and learning from experience, being brave enough to make changes to better my life. I don't particularly like confrontation but I'm passionate about my morals and beliefs and no longer compromise myself to make other people happy.
To me my power and strength comes for knowing I can get through almost anything in life and become a better person for my struggles. I also take a lot of strength from knowing I've got a great support system around me when my own strength and resilience wavers. I've learned an important lesson that asking for help when you need it is a sign of strength not weakness.
I'm very independent and happy in my own company, will go anywhere alone but I'm also a good friend.
We all have our weaknesses but I think knowing them and trying to improve on them is a form of strength.
Physical strength is something I have very little of, I'm built like a child and would never win in a physical fight, it is one of my goals to improve this over the next year.

I am probably what people describe as a strong woman. It's not something which has come easily to me over the years and I've gone through a lot of shit to get here. I now appear to have developed a reputation for being very upfront, confident and outspoken. It's not uncommon for me to be described as intimidating, though only by men usually. In my line of work, that's not necessarily a bad thing because it means I get stuff done and they don't mess me around.

While it's true that I speak up for myself and don't let people walk all over me, I still have big moments of self-doubt and I've learned to put on a very good front.

I dashed onto this thread to boast about my really-not-too-shabby biceps, which I am dead proud of as I couldn't lift a thing until I moved in with DP and rapidly turned into the person who has to lift, carry and move everything including an eight-months-pregnant woman.

Now I feel rather superficial.

(I like to think I am a 'strong woman' in the other sense too, but TBH it's mostly about having strong women around me.)

I like to think I am strong and capable - and resilient. My mum is quite feeble and likes to lean on a strong man, never drive herself anywhere, needs looking after. I have modelled myself on the opposite - women who take the steering wheel in life rather than be a passenger. It is not easy, but nothing worthwhile is, really.

*There are times when being "strong" is the wrong thing to do

When trying to manage an abusive partner, for example

The best course of action is to walk away/leave*

Actually I think it takes strength to walk away from those situations. My mum never did when with her abusive partners. She was too scared to make the change.

I'm not strong emotionally, and worry a lot. But I never let the above stop me, and work very hard in a relatively high flying and stressful job, and deal the home stuff too. And I also don't let poor health stop me do anything. So I actually think I am quite strong really.

People probably think I am a strong woman because I am hobby and "successful". Truth is I am crippled with anxiety and depression and drink too much. Accept yourself for who you are and learn to love yourself (even if it's easier said than done).

*gobby