Long. No soplogies - I need to get this off my chest!
DS has a perfect Willy Wonka outfit. He decided last week that on no account would he go to school as WW and insisted that he wanted to go as a dinosaur from his dinosaur encyclopaedia. With sinking heart I agreed and did my best to rise to the occasion.
Bought tubular dishcloth roll from Halfords.
Spent Sunday with DS painting it all with brown and green dinosaur skin design.
Got up at 5.30 a.m (after late work meetings last night and Monday night). Struggled to sew it all together - tubular body, sleeves with carboard claws made by DS, tail, stuffed with slightly inflated Tesco bags to give bulk without drag-it-down weight. Ruched the tail up by sewing along it, giving it a pleasing upward curl.
DO comes in and makes coffee, muttering about why don't I reduce my hours and concentrate on parenting a bit more.
DS puts on outfit - it looks much better than I imagined it could.
DS gets out onto the doorstep to leave for schol. Stops. "I don't think I really want to go as any sort of character".
DP tells him he looks good, DS is adamant and starts to take off Authentic Iguanadon outfit.
DP whisks him upstairs and returns 5 seconds later with blue IKEA knight cape and Narnia book.
"He's going as Peter or Edmund from Narnia".
We stomp off to school. 4 other boys are in IKEA knight outfits. No-one has anyhting half as good as an anatomically correct home-made Iguanadon.
I return home with the intention of putting DS into care, divorcing DP, sending a letterbomb to the HQ of World effing Book Day, and committing myself to a mental health establishment for treatment of the effcts of these initiatives on anyone who is a WOHP, single parent, SAHM with smaller children in the home to care for, SN children to care for or anyone even slightly creatively challenged.