Or is DH? 13 year DSD unwell and has just got into our bed...

[user1487364179]

13 year old DSD has been suffering with her first period. Came in half hour ago crying with stomach pain and got into bed next to me.

Due to me being 8 months pregnant with twins and having a tiny double bed- DH has sulked off to the sofa and is muttering under his breath like a spoilt child

[fledglingFTB]

First time, poor thing! She needs to be cut some slack, it's not like she could help it.

[Oswin]

Proud are you really fucking calling a child a selfish bitch!?

[Chloe84]

Did she take some ibuprofen?

1 or 2 before bed and she probably won't wake in the night due to pain again.

[NewPuppyMum]

Better to strip the sheets off so the blood doesn't go through to the mattress if there's no protector on it.

[ProudBadMum]

Oswin read posts before where you see someone state periods as an excuse for woman been selfish bitches

[SemiNormal]

I find 13yrs old a bit much to be crawling into bed with a parent or step parent to be honest. I do think you sound lovely though OP and it's great that you have such a close relationship, she obviously thinks a lot of you.
Of course your DH is going to head of to the sofa given it's a tiny bed, the muttering is a bit off but unless he's kicked off big time I really don't see the problem - I could if it was perhaps a or 8 year old child but not a 13yr old teenager.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

The way he is acting about your DSD needing some love and comfort now.....thats how he will react when you are struggling post partum and have twin babies to take care of.

^This. Be warned, op.

[Llanali]

I think 13 is pretty old to not be changing her own sheets and to be crawling into bed with you. Whilst it's nice she has that relationship, I think it's bizarre that she wouldn't just sort her own bed, and go back to it. Possibly wake you to ask advice about pain relief or whatever.

Whilst I think ideally your DH could have handled it better, I too would be grumpy at that time in the morning, and it's not like he kicked you out the bed or told dSD to sort herself out.......

[minisoksmakehardwork]

She's 13 and experiencing her first period. I think I would have wanted some comfort too, especially if I was in pain and if it had been heavy enough to soil my bed.

Your dh possibly didn't feel comfortable with sharing his bed with his developing daughter, and I can't blame him. It would have been nice had he been a little more tolerant though. Ie 'dd you sleep with step mum, ill strip the bed/take the sofa'

At 2am both dh and I would be grumpy, but we would have been changing the bed as it would have driven us mad sharing with our kids for the rest of the night. They are the wriggliest bunch ever and we often end up smacked in the face or kicked in the back.

And I'd also be looking at a higher bed. We've a king size and with twins plus 2 older kids it can be a squash. We'd have no hope in a double!

[pillowcase6]

I actually think everyone's being reasonable in this scenario.

OP - generous and kind to let teenaged SD slip in to the bed when she's feeling horrid.

DH - quite understandable to grumble upon being woken up in the wee hours and sent out of bed to the couch.

SD - reasonable to feel sad and sorry for herself and needing comfort with her first period and stained sheets.

Just a shitty situation and hopefully everyone will feel better and more able to support each other in the morning.

[Notso]

Give the guy a break, it's 2am. Nobody feels like Mother Teresa at that hour!

This. Someone had to get out the bed surely or nobody would have slept. Him leaving his wife and DSD in a presumably warm comfy bed to sleep on a sofa is hardly a selfish option.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

She's 13 she could have changed her own bed.

[notinagreatplace]

I think it's expecting a lot to expect anyone to be cheerful at 2am when being kicked out of bed for a teenager. I would not be pleased about that and yet I am not grumpy with my 4 month old during night feeds - I don't think it's necessarily a sign that the DH will be a bad father to the new arrivals.

If he had kicked out the heavily pregnant OP to the sofa, that would have been selfish!

[GallivantingWildebeest]

Bloody hell, not much compassion on here. (Badmum, looking at you )

OP, how lovely that your dsd trusts you like that. Your dh is crap, though - it takes 5 mins to change sheets, and changing sheets in the night is part and parcel of being a parent. And she's HIS Dd! Hope he shapes up in time for your dc to be born...

Poor girl - periods can be terrible until they settle down. Get some Feminax/nurofen express for next time and get her to take one as soon as she feels twinges.

[rumblingDMexploitingbstds]

Absolutely at the lack of compassion for a 13 year old child having her first ever period. Usually MN is the most caring place imaginable regarding kids of any age!

Yeah at 2am it's not nice to be woken by your child ill/upset/needing you, but one of you has to act like a grown up. At 2am it's not nice to be uncomfortable, in pain, managing sanpro for the first time and to discover you've had a humiliating accident. And your mum isn't there. And your dad is getting PA at you for having needs that don't suit his comfort.

Thank goodness she has you, OP.

[JacquesHammer]

I would have been highly embarrassed to have anyone changing my bloody sheets age 9, let alone age 13. How you baby these children!

Yes how dare the OP foster a loving environment for her step-daughter for fear of "babying" her.

Utter tosh. How lovely DSD has you, OP - hope the poor kid is feeling better today.

[ProudBadMum]

Poor kid?

It's a period. Yes they are shitty but fucking hell, it doesn't mean he will be a shit dad to the twins.

If this isn't a period troll of course, you know with the twins

[WhisperedLoudest]

The DSD is in the OPs bed because she's in pain - hardly babying her by not forcing her to clean her sheets at 2am.

Your DH is being a bit of a fool- unless your sofa is massive or he is a midget then changing the sheets would be a five min job and lead to a much more comfortable nights sleep.

And honestly calling a kid with their first period a selfish bitch is shitty

[ProudBadMum]

If people read the posts before moaning about calling a child a selfish bitch...

A post said women are entitled to be one and I stated they aren't. No one called a child it.

Fucking read

[winchesterfan]

These responses are ridiculous...where did the Op state that her DSD was getting into their bed due to stained sheets? Where does it state he was 'repulsed' by the blood & wouldn't change the sheets? All the app said was that he didn't fancy changing the sheets at 2am as I'm sure most people wouldn't.

[EverythingEverywhere1234]

I'd be bitching if I got woken up at 2am, for pretty much any reason. I'm just grumpy when I wake up. He went and slept on the sofa, what's the issue?
Also, I know it's her first period, so I'd probably be a little soft within reason but a 13 yo waking up her heavily pregnant step mum and making her dad go and sleep on the sofa so she can sleep in their bed?! Good lord.

[Spudlet]

Absolutely at the lack of compassion for a 13 year old child having her first ever period. Usually MN is the most caring place imaginable regarding kids of any age!

There's not always much compassion for women though, or for anyone feeling ill - look at any post where someone moots the idea of having a day of work for anything less than an amputated limb (that only merits one day off, of course!) or any post about a sahm who feels unwell. So a girl having her first period obviously doesn't merit much kindness either. I think this falls into the same category as posts scorning women not instantly leaping up to retile the roof after a c section, for instance. There's a certain subset of posters on here who wear their lack of empathy like a badge of honour, I fear.

OP, well done. I used to have a horrific time with my periods as a teenager, and I certainly needed my mums love and comfort, so well done for providing that. Hope your dsd feels better soon. I went onto the pill at not much older than her, and it was a revelation - the pain just stopped. So don't be afraid to take her to the GP and push for some help (if not the pill then better pain relief) because there's no need for her to keep suffering if they don't settle down. Your DH is being a twit (no, he may not be at his best at 2am, but he's a father, he needs to deal with it), I'd have a chat with him about it this morning as I'm sure it will have made your dsd feel even worse than she already did.

[coldcanary]

Another who thinks no one is particularly unreasonable. Your DSD needed some comfort while in pain and knew she could get it (and some understanding) from you but your DH isn't U at being grumpy about ending up on the sofa at 2am.
Hopefully everyone will feel a bit better this morning after some sleep.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

Would you like help doing the sheets (if a very young 13)
Do you need some pain killers/hot water bottle
Or verbal sympathy

Are all very appropreate responses to a period even if it's quite bad.

There there lets turf your dad out of bed and you get in instead is a response that baby's.

A period unless it's the type that needs medical attention is rarely a reason to create drama and disturbance in a household at 2am

[DebiNewberry]

Yanbu at all. It's a big deal, you were kind and it would have been kind for her dad to have his little moan, change her sheets, make her a hot water bottle, give her drugs and sleep in her bed. I doubt that she's going to make a habit of it. I'd want to talk it through a bit if this was my dh especially with the babies coming. Congratulations btw!