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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Only bathroom downstairs

82 replies

Emboo19 · 19/02/2017 13:15

Ok, I wasn't really sure where to put this.
My boyfriend is looking to buy a house, and we've been to view three so far, all with the only bathrooms downstairs. Looking online it's seeming normal for the area and price he's looking at, lots of terraced cottage style houses, his other option will probably be a flat/apartment but then no garden.

I think the only bathroom downstairs is a bit impractical and will be difficult when dd is older and toilet training. Also don't like the idea of no garden though.
So does anyone have their only bathroom downstairs? And if so how do you find it? Would you choose that over no garden or not?

It's not actually my choice. I'm not buying with him he's just asking my opinion and I might move in. I'm just curious really and I've never thought about it before, but just presumed most bathrooms would be upstairs!

OP posts:
WhatsGoingOnEh · 19/02/2017 14:52

I had my DC in a house with a downstairs bathroom, and it was great. When they were older, I could put them in the bath and be right next to them in the kitchen, clearing up dinner, etc, doing laundry.

It was incredibly handy when toilet training, as most toilet trips happen during the day, don't they. At night, you could just keep a potty nearby if your DD was there.

What's more important is that you feel he's not taking your feelings into consideration, which you might take as a sign that he doesn't see his future with you.

I'd stop speculating about a house that's not your decision, and think about whether you feel secure in this relationship.

melj1213 · 19/02/2017 14:54

I live in a small Victorian two up two down terrace, and my bathroom is downstairs - the only way to have an upstairs bathroom would be to lose a bedroom and since my DD has no interest in sleeping in the bath, that's not an option as there literally isn't space upstairs to accommodate one. My bathroom was an extention to the property - downstairs you walk into the lounge, into the kitchen (with stairs up to the two bedrooms running along one wall) and then through to the bathroom which was added on when indoor plumbing became a thing.

Yes, getting up in the middle of the night if I need a wee or having to go upstairs to get dressed in my bedroom after a shower/bath are annoying but other than that there really isn't a problem with it being downstairs - in fact in some ways it is a plus as nobody has a need to go upstairs unless it's to sleep, grab something from a bedroom or if my DD is doing her homework and/or wants to go play in her room. This makes it easier for family with reduced mobility to visit, to nip to the loo in a TV ad break, not have to cart bathroom cleaning supplies up and down stairs from where they are all kept in a secure cabinet away from little hands to get at etc

Also, I have had a fractured ankle and for the first few weeks I was on bed rest to let it heal ... I could get up in the morning, get my DD up, get dressed, go downstairs and spend my "bed rest" on the sofa all day and then only have to navigate stairs again when I went up to bed as I could hobble into the kitchen and bathroom as they were both on the same floor. Having an upstairs bathroom would have just meant navigating the stairs multiple times a day as if I was downstairs I'd need to go up to the loo; and if I was upstairs I'd still need to go down to make food/supervise my DD/visit with friends/feed the cats etc

PollyPerky · 19/02/2017 14:54

If your DD needs a wee in the night, use a potty.
My parents only had an outside loo till I was almost 3. They managed.

On another note, if he's your BF and not a partner yet, is this relationship permanent because quite frankly, unless you are buying it on a joint mortgage, the choice is his.

dudsville · 19/02/2017 14:57

My friends have a house where the only bathroom is downstairs through the kitchen. They added a loo (can't recall if it has a little shower) in an ensuit in their bedroom.

DesolateWaist · 19/02/2017 14:58

It is funny Semi to think not that long ago, most people had to go outside to use the loo!

My last house had an outside loo (as well as an indoor). Around here is is quite common in some cafes, restaurants and pubs to have them.
My mum spent some of her childhood in a house with an outdoor 'long drop' toilet.

Soubriquet · 19/02/2017 14:59

We have a bathroom downstairs

Fabulous in the daytime, pain in the arse at night time

I would want a garden though

PageStillNotFound404 · 19/02/2017 15:06

*What's more important is that you feel he's not taking your feelings into consideration, which you might take as a sign that he doesn't see his future with you.

I'd stop speculating about a house that's not your decision, and think about whether you feel secure in this relationship.*

Unless there's a backstory I think that's a bit of a leap to make based on this thread! Just because you ask someone for their opinion doesn't mean you're bound to act on it, especially when this isn't a joint purchase.

Olympiathequeen · 19/02/2017 15:07

These bathrooms are usually in little extensions. Maybe later you could build upwards and make a two storey extension and have an upstairs bathroom and a much larger living room or kitchen.

mygorgeousmilo · 19/02/2017 15:09

Is your DD his, and you intend to all live together? Not seeing how you have no say in the purchase.

RandomMess · 19/02/2017 15:12

I had a house like this until my eldest was 3 it was fab when they were young - they could have a bath etc whilst I pottered around in the kitchen - it was off the small galley kitchen.

Even now our shower room is downstairs - get up have coffee, in shower, go upstairs, no different really to go down get coffee back up to shower then dress...

You may be able to add value by adding in a small en-suite or loo with hand basin or similar without compromising too much on bedroom size.

Emboo19 · 19/02/2017 15:12

No, he is taking my feelings into consideration, he wants me to move in and so wants a house I'd be happy in. I'm the one unsure of that, which is why I've said the final decision is not mine it's got to be one he'd make, even if I've no intention of moving in.

OP posts:
DesolateWaist · 19/02/2017 15:13

These bathrooms are usually in little extensions. Maybe later you could build upwards and make a two storey extension and have an upstairs bathroom and a much larger living room or kitchen.

Friends did similar. Victorian house with the bathroom as a single storey extension on the kitchen.
Recently they put a further storey on top of the bathroom, and made a corridor though the back bedroom. The extension was made into a bedroom and what was the bedroom made into an upstairs bathroom.

Mari50 · 19/02/2017 15:15

My bathroom is downstairs, every house I've ever lived in has had a downstairs bathroom so I didn't even realise it wasn't desirable until recently.
I have no idea why you think it would impact on toilet training, if anything a toilet on the level you inhabit most of the time is more desirable. I'd definitely pick a house with a downstairs loo over a flat- have lived in both.

BurningGubbins · 19/02/2017 15:17

We've got a downstairs bathroom, as others have said, it's fine.

DS (5) has a torch for if he wants to go to the toilet in the night, which is basically the best thing in the world.

mrssmith79 · 19/02/2017 15:18

Ours is downstairs at the far end, past the kitchen. Nightmare if you've got the squits and you're upstairs, fine otherwise

Gingernaut · 19/02/2017 15:19

Here in the West Midlands, where every other street is lined with 19th Century terraces, downstairs bathrooms, which are accessed via the kitchen, are standard.

I'm moving mine upstairs (and losing a bedroom in the process) and keeping a toilet/utility area off the kitchen.

Emboo19 · 19/02/2017 15:20

Yes she's his mygorgeousmilo we aren't buying together it will be his house. The long term plan is for me and dd to move in.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 19/02/2017 15:23

It is funny Semi to think not that long ago, most people had to go outside to use the loo! -

PollyPerky · 19/02/2017 15:26

In all honesty, if you and your DD are going to move in and he's the dad, I'd want something more concrete in place re. ownership.
Are you not in a position to buy together? If you move in and you split, you and DD will have no home. You will have no legal rights to anything. Where do you each live now? I think the layout of the house is the least of your worries.

categed · 19/02/2017 15:28

We have a downstairs bathroom and two girls, 4 and 19 months. We do have an en suite toilet upstairs but before we put that in it still wasn't a problem though. Far less hassle than an upstairs only and we just get dressed in bathroom after our shower.

MewlingQuim · 19/02/2017 15:32

If you are planning on moving in with him then you should see it as your home too. Don't get into the mindset that it is his house that he just lets you stay in, that is not good for you.

If the house has scope for an ensuite or small bathroom upstairs then is sounds good. A downstairs bathroom is very handy. In the meantime consider whether you are the type to go to the loo often during the night (I am and it would drive me nuts to go downstairs all the time), if you dont then it is not likely to be so much of a problem.

cazisalittlenuts · 19/02/2017 15:46

My only bathroom is downstairs. Its not that bad as normally you are downstairs during the day anyway, the only time I've really felt disadvantaged by having a downstairs loo and no upstairs one, is when I've caught the dreaded norovirus.

cazisalittlenuts · 19/02/2017 15:49

Sorry for double post but just to add, the disadvantage while having norovirus, is because 1) if unfortunately you are quite erm loud Blush while vomming or the other, people in the living room can hear, even with doors closed, and 2) running downstairs from upstairs at night whilst hugging a bucket.

Unfortunately, I've very recently had this experience with noro.

stupidlybroody · 19/02/2017 15:52

My partner and I have recently brought a Victorian terrace with a downstairs bathroom. Like you, it's common for the area.

I have to admit when we started looking I was dead against having a downstairs bathroom. I didn't like how they are always off of the kitchen (round here at least) and really wanted a bathroom upstairs.

However, houses with upstairs loos were invariably loads more expensive, and they usually had really awkward layouts to have accommodated it in the first place (I.e. having to walk through one of the bedrooms to get to the loo. Not very practical!)

I got used to it as soon as I moved in and tbh it's actually really handy. We can have our grandparents round and they don't have to worry about the steep stairs, and no one has any reason to nose around your bedrooms! We don't have kids so can't comment on if that makes it more challenging, but the family next door have three and the people we brought from has three as well (moved because its a two bed) so it musn't be too bad!

MargaretCavendish · 19/02/2017 15:54

When my husband and I bought our house he completed vetoed anywhere where the bathroom was downstairs. I accepted this in the name of compromise (I was pretty much entirely dictating the much more important issue of location because I insisted on being able to walk to the station, so it seemed fair to let him have his bathroom thing!), but I thought - and still think - it was a bit bizarre and irrational. I don't think a downstairs bathroom would have bothered me at all.

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