To think I'm always going to be fat?

[fatandfaughty]

I seem to be incapable of sticking to any sort of diet. I've tried slimming world, weight watchers (admittedly not for a while) forget diets and just eat normally (THAT didn't work!) Cambridge, lighter life and exante, 5/2 and low carb. Going veggie, going vegan, eat less move more (THAT didn't work either!)

I can't stick to any of them! I binge eat and in some ways the more restricted the diet the worse my bingeing cycles are but at the same time relaxing doesn't work as it perpetuates everything.

I can't afford therapy and I'm not Christian so please don't suggest that overeaters anon thing, I just wondered if anyone hadn't managed to sort this horrendous habit out!

Try and work out what your flashpoints are when you are overeating /snacking. Mine is when I'm in the kitchen - I can up constantly snacking without realising I'm getting kids tea/tidying up etc even if I'm not at all hungry.
I've taken to putting a teaspoon in my mouth and holding it there whenever I'm in the kitchen. It works fairly well. I look like a lunatic and can't chat to the children effectively though.

Here are the things that worked for me:

• Learning to calorie count
• Getting a physically (very) active job
• Walking to and from work
• Walking a minimum of 10 miles, every day, even at weekends
• Substituting snacking for drinking - no, not booze! I mean tea or coffee.
• Eating huge portions - of vegetables (not potatoes) and salads
• Avoiding bread (it makes me binge, it's the only thing that does, but by crikey does it ever make me want to gorge)
• Having smaller portions of things like pasta or rice
• Eating more meat and fish
• Batch cooking meals for the week - get all veg ready in little tupperware boxes, then microwave them when needed and do meat / fish separately
• Don't buy crisps / biscuits / chocolate
• Don't take purse to work = can't spend money on snacks whilst there or on way home
• Accept that you have an overeating addiction and always will have. If you have a binge day, forget it and move on, tomorrow is another day.

- Understand WHY you overeat in the first place. In my case, it was and is because I am autistic and am consequently permanently and hideously stressed, and sleep poorly (always exhausted = sugar cravings) plus I suspect my constantly angry bowel is inflamed, so does not absorb nutrients properly, hence constant constipation and inflammation = body constantly going "please give me more food I am not able to extract enough from this". Took me until I was 36 to work all that out, but hey ho.

There are no easy answers, I'm afraid. You have to make radical changes to your lifestyle and to come to terms with why you over- eat; there's no other way through it.

Never call it a diet, you've already failed!

It's a complete lifestyle change....diets are short term.

All this "you'll lose loads of weight however as soon as you eat normally again, you'll put it all back on".

Thats the point of a lifestyle change, you don't ever go back to the foods you cut out....you cut down or out for a reason, you don't go back to those foods.

Best bet?? You need to plan either weekly or monthly.....possibly as far ahead as you can otherwise you'll get to the end of each week and not find the time to plan for the next week....I was exactly the same.

Now I'm planning my meals and ensuring I don't have days where I've nothing in and would turn to easy bad options.

I was a 17 stone binge eater & I broke the habit by walking every time I wanted to binge or doing something that would distract me. It took about 3 weeks to break the habit. I sat at night & stuffed my face once the kids were in bed so I recognised my trigger time.

I've spent 16 years failing at diets & I've been trained to think I can eat any food & still lose weight when in reality if you fill your body with junk you have eaten your calories by lunch time & end up starving & binge eating. You have to plan your food & eat right. Fill yourself up on good food.

I am overweight but i learnt how to stop gaining at least

dont ban food ,this is by far the worst thing to do if your fat.It makes you want more than you would ever normally eat.Learn moderation what foods should be eaten often,sometimes or often. Make sure you eat at least 2 vegetables with dinner,1 vegetable with lunch and 1 fruit with breakfast.Sweet treats/junk are fine just dont eat them all the time or in excess

Learn to drink a glass of water before eating a meal or snack

eat at set times only snack if you actually feel hungry not bored

experiment with food learn new ways to cook.I found when i learnt how to cook better i could also cook healthier.

you cant lose weight till you have learnt how keep your weight steady first

try to learn and understand why your over eating ,really think. There's no need to eat more of this when if i save some of this i can enjoy this delicious now and later.Same go's for a good meal,learn to slow it right down.Eat slow ,take a bite place fork down when your finished your mouthful start again.

I have found since learning these things its easier to lose weight

For me it was having a goal as motivation that gave the incentive I needed (to be under BMI 30 to qualify for fertility treatment).
I did WW, but only to start. Just tracking on My fitness (though still not tracking 'free' fruit & veg) had same results. If I don't track I over eat. I have weak points in my day/ week that trigger me to binge. Recognising it was weak moment and that really I'm NOT going to starve if I don't eat that packet of biscuits is a good starting points. But also clearing out all the junk food, biscuits, crisps out the house etc was essential for me. If they were in the cupboard I'd eat them. So gone were the McCoys ridges and in were the mini popcorn multipacks. Out went the chocy hob nobs and in with the crackerbread. Also getting in loads of fruit.
I'll be honest I lost 2 stone in 7 months last year, hit my goal then plateaued. I put on 4lb over Xmas. And still working to get that back off, but I'm quite happy as not just piled it back on! I do jog, having done couch to 5k last year I have kept going out once or twice a week. I feel loads better for getting fit.
So I know I need to track what I eat, my calorie target is pretty generous and allow more if I exercise (I jog using Strava which automatically adds to daily calories in My fitness Pal). It's just having to track & justify my food choices, see the difference between full fat and diet coke, rice cake and hob nob etc that works for me.

Low carb is the way to go long term- have a look at the site diet doctor for inspiration.

fatandfaughty I could have written your post a few years ago. I have yo yo dieted most of my adult life - I'm now 47 and have managed in the last few years to lose nearly 6 stone by not dieting. I wish I could give you a magic plan that would help but in my experience, sorting out my relationship with food and getting out of the restrictive dieting mentality was the key for me to finding a healthy relationship with food and exercise and reaching my ideal weight. Other people - school mums, friends, ask me all the time what I eat and what they should do to lose the weight and I honestly can't tell them because sorting my own head out and finding an approach that worked with my life and my family was the answer for me, and what I do won't work for everyone. What I can say is that I no longer overeat, I have reduced portion sizes, I don't snack, I have cut down on alcohol, I eat more veg, some days I only eat 2 meals not 3 (I work part-time and when I'm not working I exercise once the kids are at school - I can't eat before because I don't like working out on a full tummy, so I eat a biggish brunch after my workout and then a light supper later on) - I have cut out the weekend bingeing, but I will still demolish a burger and chips or a pizza or thai meal at the weekend, just not use it as an excuse to binge all day….and so on. I have a couple of days a week when i intermittent fast. But I wouldn't necessarily recommend that as the answer for everyone - I had to address my overeating and all or nothing approach before that became an appropriate tool for weight loss / weight management. In the end for me the thing was not wanting to be fat for the rest of my life and losing the weight before I hit menopause. It became easier once both my kids were at school all day and I was getting a decent amount of sleep. If I were you, I would look at my habits and address them one at a time, slowly. You can do this. Start by moving a bit more, and replacing one meal a day with something healthier - add more veg, have a smoothie for breakfast or a huge bowl of home made soup for supper a couple of nights a week….every little bit helps. Wishing you all the best of luck. You can do this.

Oh, and can I just add that I never tracked anything or counted any calories. I've gone from 15 stone 12 lbs in 2013 to 10 stone now.