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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not really like doing things on my own?

37 replies

callyforniacreamin · 19/02/2017 11:14

I'll probably get a bit of a flaming but never mind.

I have a week off (I am a teacher so on half term) and I've been googling stuff to do but I just don't fancy any of it as it all seems to involve just sitting or walking alone.

Aibu to wonder if some stuff is just designed to be done with more than one person?

OP posts:
callyforniacreamin · 19/02/2017 12:34

I've looked into dogs but there's actually a long waiting list.

Have a good day trills :)

OP posts:
NormaSmuff · 19/02/2017 12:39

how about an allotment op?
there are other people there generlaly?

coffeetasteslikeshit · 19/02/2017 12:41

There's a website called Borrow My Doggy, or something similar.

sophiestew · 19/02/2017 12:47

What about www.meetup.com

callyforniacreamin · 19/02/2017 12:48

I've met some nice people through that.

OP posts:
Adnerb95 · 19/02/2017 12:55

For reasons too boring to go into, I regularly travel alone in Spain. I used to hate it - especially eating alone - and was in danger of becoming one of those people who latches on to others in restaurants on the slightest pretext when they just want a nice smug couple meal out undisturbed by random bonkers strangers.

But it gets easier and now I find I can actually positively enjoy the time. A chance to think, appreciate stuff that DH finds boring and just smell the roses. Stick with it, you'll find there are rewards, too.

Composteleana · 19/02/2017 12:56

Have a partner now, but spent a long time single and am also a teacher so had holidays when others were walking. I'm one that likes my own company though, and have happily travelled alone etc. I also have a dog. And a big extended family with many nephews/nieces forever hankering after a sleepover if things get really desperate!

I think it very much depends on personality type, obviously whether you like your own company or not, but also how much structure/plans you want in your free time. My best friend is like you, doesn't particularly enjoy doing things alone but does always want to be doing things and to have a plan. I'm much more of a potterer, and can easily and enjoyably spend a day doing not very much - bit of a lie in, few extra cups of tea whilst reading, walk the dog, walk to the village to get lunch and buy ingredients for dinner, come home, read some more or fanny about online, few jobs round the house, walk dog again, make dinner, eat in front of Netflix and bed. Pretty perfect day in my book, though I'm sure hellish for some people.

Things that I've enjoyed doing alone - yoga classes, cinema, sitting in a coffee shop with a book, shopping/browsing - especially book shops but not averse to looking at shoes and make up either. Book to get a massage, or manicure etc - usually easier to get in mid week and combined with a stop for lunch then it kills a good few hours. I've also joined meetups in the past when I've wanted to do something that was different from what my friends are into (we either visit each other for tea/coffe, go to the pub or go for a meal) - stuff like going to lectures or going on guided walks or the theatre. I like cooking too and can happily spend the day pottering in the kitchen. Swim and sauna.

Composteleana · 19/02/2017 12:56

*others were working

DustyMaiden · 19/02/2017 12:59

If you google walking groups near you, you will probably find one you can join.

Kiroro · 19/02/2017 13:01

I love doing things with friends / groups and also like my own company, and you are right that the same 'activity' e.g. a walk is very different on your own or with a friend.

One thing that I do if I am away on my own is to get quite into photography, it gives me something to focus on, and I can see beauty/interest in places where you might not expect it. It also means things like a walk take much longer if you are having a go at composing photographs on the way round.

Do you have friends who are also off, just not local to you? If so can you skype them? I have a weekly skype date with a friend who lives abroad.

What are you hibbies? What do you enjoy?

Rachel0Greep · 19/02/2017 13:10

...so I have become odd and like being alone when I can.

Why is that odd? I enjoy time on my own, and also time with family of friends.

OP, no I don't think you should be flamed whatsoever. I guess it depends on your interests, and where you live, as to what might be available to do.

Start with one thing this week, join a group - a book club, sports club, or whatever and take things from there.

MuseumOfCurry · 19/02/2017 18:08

Loners are not inferior to sociable types or vice versa. Best that you just get to grips with what will fill the void in your life.

Try this: meetup.com

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