AIBU to be very worried about my DC at my ex's?

[harrypotternerd]

Namechanged for this. I am currently going through family court. I received an email from my lawyer outlining the following:

1. My ex's girlfriend has been charged with making a false report to police
   
2. My ex was admitted to hospital after threatening to kill himself
   
3. My ex is known to police under a number of names
   
4. My ex has charges against him for assault.
   

Backstory: My ex and his girlfriend took off with my 2 DS (aged 3 and 5) and we are currently going through family court. AIBU to be very concerned about them after this has come to light? I knew nothing about any of these things and I am worried about what my boys are being exposed to.

[harrypotternerd]

sorry no namechange

[Scrumptiousbears]

I would be worried as well however on the face of it whilst unpleasant doesn't mean your children are at risk as they are his children too. To look at it rationally:

Girlfriend and false report - when and what? Could have been years ago and be claiming a car was stolen when it wasn't (for example). Bad I know but no harm to your children.

Ex and self harm - again when? If this is current maybe an issue, if old no immediate harm to children. If he is known to police maybe he threatened it to prevent being arrested etc. Again not good but no immediate threat to kids.

Various names to police - people do this to prevent previous convictions or bail conditions being identified. Doesn't mean he will harm children.

Assault - when & what are the circumstances?

In the long term you need to know more about all of the above which no doubt will come out as you obviously have custody issues and have a solicitor. But tonight you need to be rational and think none of the above means he will harm your children. Don't forget you had kids with him so he must have seemed ok to you at the time. See what else the solicitor knows and make an informed decision, not a knee jerk.

Things seem worse in the dark. Good luck.

[harrypotternerd]

Thank you. He was violent towards me during our relationship but I never reported to police, I had heard a rumour a while ago that he had been charged with assaulting his ex gf but they were just rumours. It has just shocked me really because he has made me out to be violent and unstable yet he cannot provide any evidence. Apparently the false statement was about me but not sure the exact details and police have never spoken to me so have no idea. It was just confusing.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I can understand your worry. Does that mean you don't have access to them? When did they take them?

However, he is known to the police, if he was thought to be a threat, wouldn't social services be involved?

for you and your babies.

[harrypotternerd]

at the moment no I dont but we have court in 2 weeks. My lawyer said this can all be brought up. I am in shock more than anything.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

God poor you. They are little. Are you assuming you'll get them back? I don't understand why they are being allowed full custody and you no access. Is it because of the allegations or something else? What does your lawyer say?

[harrypotternerd]

my lawyer is pretty certain I will get them back. It is because he accused me of being unstable and violent but we have proof that he has lied about that. I have no criminal history and my lawyer said this is textbook abuser behaviour, he has deflected his behaviour onto me and she said the judge will take his lies and criminal history very seriously.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I hope for your sake and theirs this happens.